Beckie's Blurbs...

This blog has improved and moved!

2011-08-30T10:36:00.001-07:00

Hey readers,
I know for the past year this blog has sucked big time and that was majorly my fault. Lack of motivation and depression had set in and all kinds of excuses inserted here. Well it's time for a change. Lots of them really. I'd love to share with you my new blog address and invite you to that blog to read about our big change going on over here and stay updated with me over there. I plan on using this blog as reviews for the books I recieve so it will continue being dullsville :(

http://hellohooah.blogspot.com/

There it is, A much better blog, by a much better person in a much better place and ready to keep the much better pace going :) Thank you for following and reading and please, come join me over there. Hell, bring a friend or two! :D

Women Of Faith cd review

2011-05-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

I recently received a cd from booksneeze.com called Rejoice: Women of Faith Worship. I was excited for my first CD review but I was unsure about the music. I popped it into my CD player in the car on one of my long car trips and I am happy to report it didn't let me down. It has songs on it that were played at a recent conference, but don't worry, it doesn't have the claps or crowd noises or anything like that, it was done in a studio. The music is more of a contemporary Christian beat but is definitely easy to listen to. The songs are joyful and definitely uplifting. And my husband even enjoyed listening to it even though he is more into rap and rock.

The songs are:

1.Beautiful Redeemer
2.So Good
3.Forever Reign
4.Come As You Are
5.Hosanna
6.Our God
7.Glory To God
8.You Brought the Sunshine
9.Greatness of Our God
10.Great Is Thy Faithfulness

My favorite song has to be Hosanna or You Brought The Sunshine. I definitely recommend this CD to anyone who needs some awesome music and praise music :)))

How To Be God's Little Princess review

2011-03-22T14:05:00.001-07:00

I requested this book from www.booksneeze.com and it didn't disappoint! My daughter has the basic manners down pat but now we get to work on why we should act like a lady and why certain manners are a must! I WILL NOT have a child in public acting like a heathen. And this book is great at teaching the kids how to act properly and why. Some of the how-tos are in fun, such as how to wear a tiara and how to make the best pink cookies but most of them are for real such as how to be respectful, how to care for the royal dog, and how to help mom. These are great and I hope my daughter learns a lot from this book. Knowing her, she will it will just be whether or not she wants to put what she learns, to use, lol!

An Amish Love By Beth Wiseman, Kathleen Fuller, and Kelly Long

2010-12-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

Healing Hearts by Beth Wiseman
He left to find himself. She found her way without him. Now Levina and Naaman Lapp are together again, feeling miles apart. Although coming home was the right thing to do, Naaman must regain the trust and respect of his wife who, in his absence, has learned to trust God like never before. Could it be that their prior years together have simply been a preface to a greater love than they have ever known?

A Marriage of the Heart by Kelly Long
Abigail Kauffman is looking for a way out; Joseph Lambert is seeking a way in. Since her mother's death, Abby has lived alone with her father and longs to escape the emptiness of the farmhouse that has never felt like home. Joseph Lambert is a newcomer in their close-knit community. Only after they find themselves suddenly married to each other do they begin to understand the tender truths of life-long love.

What the Heart Sees by Kathleen Fuller
When Ellie Chupp loses her sight in an accident--and then her boyfriend shortly after that--she believes love will never be in her future. But Christopher Miller has returned home, five years after fleeing from the tragedy that broke his heart. When Ellie and Chris meet again, sparks fly. Could true love be a matter of seeing with new eyes?

Each story teaches something wonderful ( My favorite was the first one, I really need to work on forgiveness and that was a reminder!) As with all my other reviews, I definitely recommend this book. 3-in-1 works awesome too!

Awesome T-Shirts!

2010-11-20T12:11:00.001-08:00

So I signed up to be a reviewer of products a few weeks ago and my first review gets to be for www.crazydogtshirts.com They have the best shirts ever! I found some from the hangover which are my favorite. They have vintage t-shirts, funny t-shirts and shirts from the 80's too. If you can imagine a t-shirt, odds are they have it. I got a super cute one that has a picture of a dinosaur on it and underneath it says "Dinosaurs are cool". PRetty stinking cute art work I have to say. I really like their prices and really can't get enough of their designs. My only problem with them however is the fact that when I ordered a large, the shirt is past my hips and a little too large so if you do happen to stray on over there, pick out a size smaller than what you normally wear. Then it will fit you perfect and hey, who doesn't enjoy wearing a size smaller? Hehehe. So what are you waiting for? Head on over and get some t-shirts! :)

NKJV Start! The Bible for New Believers-Greg Laurie

2010-11-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

(Taken from www.christianbook.com)
A brand new life of faith begins when we place our trust in Jesus Christ.
Start is the perfect Bible for new believers or believers who want to learn more about their faith. Ideal for introducing new believers to the Bible, Start focuses on basic discipleship with articles and devotions on subjects including prayer, Bible study, church involvement, sharing your faith, and discovering God’s will. Core biblical themes are introduced at basic levels of theological sophistication and presented in very simple language.

Features include:
•Introductory Salvation Article explains what it means to be saved and how to receive salvation
•The Best Gift of All messages focus on various aspects of salvation
•Growing Strong in Faith entries reveal key disciplines of the Christian life
•Building Blocks of Faith expose the core beliefs of the Christian
•Faith Seeds provide mini-commentaries on key passages for spiritual growth
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The best thing about thsi book in my eyes was teh fact that just because I'm not a brand new believer, doesn't mean I didn't get something out of this. This is the perfect book to pick up when you know you have fallen away or are falling away, when difficult questions arise and you have no one to answer them for you or don't know where else to turn, and is also perfect for those ( like me ) who don't know their way around a Bible very well. I'm not like a lot fo people out there, I can't memorize more than a few verses of scripture and I'm not quick thinking or able to battle my way with the Bible. This. Is. Perfect. So if you are any of the above, or like me, this is definitely something you should pick up. Actually, this is perfect for EVERYONE!!

God's Promises For Women of Faith-Jack Countryman

2010-11-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

(Taken from Amazon's description...) Beginning with an introduction from Women of Faith® President, Mary Graham, promises of God specifically targeting women are then grouped by topic, including: Encouragement, Teaching, Blessing, Comfort, Growth, and more. Whether for daily Scripture reading or for a quick reference, these promises will help women of faith from all walks of life to worship, pray, trust, and abide in Christ every day.

God's Promises for Women of Faith has twelve chapter including God's plan, God Helps and God gives to name a few. Each chapter has six subtopics for reference and each topic has various Bible verses (New King James version) to meditate and read. The final chapter focuses on six Women of the Faith which I found both insightful and interesting. As a Christian I always enjoy books that have applicable Bible verses on hand that I can reach for when penning an email or card to a friend facing a hard time or circumstance.

The book ends with the Plan of Salvation and also pages for you to make personal notes of your favorite verses and prayer requests. This is a visual feast for the eyes, heart and mind. This makes an amazing book to read if you are falling out of your walk, have questions, feel troubled or have a friend with these issues. It's wonderful and I am soo thankful to have gotten this book. :D

You Changed My Life - Max Lucado

2010-09-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

Synopsis (from Barnes and Noble):

If someone has changed your life for the good, now is the time to celebrate by letting them know how much they matter. Often times true heroes of faith don't stand out in the world, but they have made a lasting difference in someone's life-they're a hero to someone. This gift book celebrates their story by first providing a dedication beginning with "You changed my life by___" to be written in detail by the giver to the recipient. To follow are stories told by Max about others who have answered the call of their convictions and took steps of faith (both big and small) resulting in lasting change in the lives around them. It's a message that honors the person who receives the book, and inspires us all to see that real people with remarkable hearts can change lives.
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I got this book, read it and immediately thought of a friend who has made a huge impact in my life so I ordered one for her. This is a collection of short stories of people who have amazing things happen in their lives thanks to amazing people. A sort of Chicken Soup style if you will. It's definitely sweet and will even bring a tear to your eyes. The author is a well known author who has never written anything un true or not a best seller. He has a way with words and stories that makes you want to change and become better in any way. And if you have someone in your life who is amazing, send them this book! Amazing gift!

Faithful by Kim Cash Tate

2010-08-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

Three life-long friends experience life-altering struggles. Will they find the strength to be faithful to the covenants they’ve made with God...and each other?

Cydney Sanders thought she knew God’s plan for her life. She’d marry, have kids, and then snap her body back into shape with Tae Bo. But she’s celebrating her fortieth birthday as the maid of honor at her little sister’s wedding . . . and still single. Why would God give her this desire to marry, but no husband? And why is her life suddenly complicated by the best man-who’s the opposite of what she wants in a husband?

Cydney’s best friend Dana has the perfect marriage. But when Dana discovers her husband’s affair, her world goes into a tailspin. And Phyllis is out of hope after six years of unanswered prayers for her husband to find faith. When she runs into an old friend who is the Christian man she longs for, she’s faced with an overwhelming choice.

With life falling apart around them, can they trust God like never before?

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It was Dana's story that caught my eye when I ordered this book. Can a person really fix their marriage after an affair has occurred? Is it really possible or something that is saved for a wonderful fairytale? All you hear about today is divorce and divorce. NO ONE works on their marriage anymore. If something comes up to difficult to try to work through people toss away their wedding vows like yesterday's newspaper. So when I saw this, I snagged it in a heartbeat because I, along with Dana have worked through something incredible and it was only becuse of God that something as beautiful as a marriage, was saved. So this book was incredible. I cried. A few times but it showed me through these three women that a marriage, that a friendship and that difficult problems that arise, everything can be worked through and overcome with God's help. The moment we abandon God, we abandon hope. Have you ever had a trying situation? A problem or moment where you thought it was impossible to get through? Nothing is impossible in God's eyes. And with god on your side, you will never lose. Look for this book, buy this book and fall in love with this book. You will I promise.

100 Prayers God Loves To Hear, 100 Praise Songs review

2010-08-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

This was a super cute book and it even came with a CD for the kids to listen to! Hannah already has some of the songs memorized and we listen to it daily. And for bedtime we read a few too.
The pictures are captivating, the verses make it easy to memorize and understand and it makes the kids comfertable learning about God and learning to to talk with Him as well. This is an awesome book to have for your little ones! :) Loooove it!

So, I broke.

2010-07-26T18:51:00.000-07:00

I can't resist. I miss blogging but maybe that's because I took a break from it that made me realize how important it is to me. Even if no one reads it or comments it, I still miss writing. Especially about things that I feel come out better if I wrote them down instead of talked about them. Or maybe because I have strangers from far away distances who are really my my trustworthy and special friends. Maybe...It's because I've done it for so long, I'm truly addicted? LoL. Whatever it is I think I'm back. Who knows with my flip-floppy ways...
So I broke yesterday. It actually started Friday night. Abel and I took Hannah to her very first movie in a theatre. Toy Story 3. The big one. :D She loved it and every part of the evening was exciting to her. Even the paying for her own ticket part. I think I watched her more than the movie though. She looked....So old sitting there. Like a big kid who has sat through millions of movies. All of a sudden she was grown up right in front of me. Is that pathetic or does that actually make any sense? During the movie I cried, more in the end part though. I won't say where and why, it gives away too much. But it was sad. Bittersweet actually.
So on to yesterday. So Ignacio was making goofy faces at me and laughing hysterically and one moment I find myself laughing at him and the next...Blubbering like a damn baby. It was one of my "Missing dad" moments. 3 months later and I still cry every so often. Ignacio is so tenderhearted, he saw me crying and started crying too so I had to quickly dry my eyes and get him laughing again.
He's much different than Hannah. Hannah and I have a relationship of course, I mean, I'm only with her 24 hours a day and all. But there's not really a bond there and I ache for that. She has that strong bond and attachment to Abel. Definite daddy's girl. Ignacio on the other hand. Doesn't really have much to do with Abel. He doesn't stray far from me which can totally suck but secretly, deep down, I looove it! My boy....He turns one in two more weeks. I'm having a rough time with it. It sucks knowing that he is the last child I will ever have. Soo bittersweet. I decided to do a Sesame Street party for him. I'm anti-Pooh and the usual First birthdays weren't yelling out at me so I went with Elmo and his gang. And to really make things fun, I got a monkey cake pan and a decorating kit and am going to attempt to make my own cake. Yes, a monkey pan. For a Sesame Street party. I know, I know...But he's my monkey, I couldn't not do it you know? Hannah's birthday comes one month after his so we got her stuff already too. Toy Story theme. And a Buzz Lightyear cake pan. I like cakes so we'll see how I can do...
Hannah is starting Head Start next month. Blows my mind...Awanas, Girl Scouts and Head start. Yikes!! Talk about growing up on me. I'm excited though. I'm focused on being the sort of mom I would have killed to have when I was growing up so even though I'm dysfunctional, maybe she won't know that, hehehe....
I've decided to venture down to California for about a week. Going to visit the in-laws with the kids. Abel is working so he can't make it so it's just me and the kids. I've decided to drop my selfish pity party act and love my in-laws and accept them for who they are, flaws included. I can be a butt head a lot so why i expect others to be prefect is beyond me. I need to let go. So I am. I'm letting go and embracing what little family we have. And it was pretty awesome. When Abel's mom heard I was coming down, she decided to throw a party for Ignacio's birthday. I'm really surprised and excited. They really aren't bad people at all. My issue is I expect them to do like dad did and that isn't reasonable. So I'm hoping for fun times while were there. Venture to San Fransisco. Get a tattoo. Or two. LoL. Who knows...
And I have gone on a change mission. I've gone black hair. To finally match my eyebrows and do something different. It looks good. makes me look a little older but more....fancy? LoL. I can't think of the word right now but it makes me look it. And I've been losing weight finally. 12 pounds in 3 weeks and went from size 16 to size 14 pants :D Going to the gym a lot and doing things healthier finally. I want to be 40 pounds lighter than what I was and/or a size 10 in pants. Which is completely reasonable in my mind. I even got nails done thanks to a Gucci wearing mama out there. Reading about her cute nails and it made me want to get some just because my nails are thin and brittle. They are fun, that's for sure. For once in my life, I feel pretty. I even bought some lingerie at Victoria's Secret on a splurge and didn't turn off the lights when i wore it. I have very low self esteem mind you. VERY LOW and for once, I don't. I think I look cute, I wear my fat pants which fall off my butt and I smile a lot more. Abel likes the change and I think it's good for me.
Anyways, that's about it for me. I'm super tired, had a long day so I gotta go finish up some last minute housework and then go lay down to watch Last holiday. Loove that movie! I hope you all are having a good night. Until next time!

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul - John & Stasi Eldredge

2010-07-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

I'm cheating a little bit here. I requested Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge and I'm only a part of the ways in it but it is incredible so far! I have family coming in for about a week so I know when I finish the book I won't have time to blog the review so I'm going to put down the description off the back of the book and tell you that no amount of words can tell you how wonderful this book is. It's almost freeing really. I can feel myself letting go of everything and looking forward to changing myself. I love books that allow you to look within yourself and rearrange your inner being. I can feel myself letting go of my self image a little bit, almost like cracking a safe open after so many years of trying. I can feel beauty and a little bit of understanding and knowing of who I am. That's a huge thing for me. I'm such a closed person who ends up with every backwards step, closing up more and more and I am so glad I began reading this now, when I needed it the most. I have hopes of it opening me up and becoming a stronger and better person. I hope to find the beautiful woman I am and disposing of this scared, self loathing person I am now. And from what I have read, I know it will change me in big ways :D I feel that yes, every woman should have this and every man should read it to understand us better as well. You can bet yoru pants Abel will be reading this. It will explain to him better than how I can, how to understand me and why I am the way I am. :) Definitely seek this book out! Definitely, definitely. Oh and they make one for guys too :)

"Every little girl has dreams of being swept up into a great adventure, of being the beautiful princess. Sadly, when women grow up, they are often swept up into a life filled merely with duty and demands. Many Christian women are tired, struggling under the weight of the pressure to be a "good servant," a nurturing caregiver, or a capable home manager.

What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating is doing for women. Setting their hearts free. This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be. By revealing the core desires every woman shares-to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty-John and Stasi Eldredge invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God. Further, they encourage men to discover the secret of a woman's soul and to delight in the beauty and strength women were created to offer."

Update in my lonely corner.

2010-07-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

So this will probably be one of the rare moments where I actually blog anymore. I don't feel like I have the time to read everyone's blogs as I used to what with my new job and running after my kiddos and playing out side and such. I have one day where I play catch up and read everyone blogs that I follow but I don't usually leave comments anymore because mine seem so lost in the millions of others or it has been too late or I just don't feel like it I suppose.
Life is life over on my side. I lost a friend of mine who I used to be super tight with. She had issues that I found out via her husband telling my husband and now I feel a little used and abused so I have cut myself off from everyone. When I was in Montana what I considered "friends" were just a circle of people there to criticize and talk about me behind my back and who were there mainly so my husband could play with their husbands. (PS when I say play, I mean do guy thinsg such as work on cars and play golf) It would have been odd for him to show up and all the lame group functions alone right? Good wife I am I suppose...Plus I had no one else so it was convienant I guess. I mean in the begining I really was close with some of the ladies and then towards teh end drama and other people got in teh way annnnnnd....I'm lame because I'm too shy and closed off to make new friends so I whine in my pity corner. Don't mind me :) So now I have closed myself off due to lack of trust and distance and a tad bit of butt-hurtness and pretty much have realized that I've almost lost everyone along the way. But as much as I should grieve about that it's almost normal. I've only ever had one or two friends and I think I enjoy it that way. I don't like phones or distance and dometimes that can get in the way...Well alot of times actually.
I've gotten a lot of weight off my life however. My mother disowned me for not sharing my father's inheritance with her. She somehow thinks she deserved a chunk or something. She wanted to move to Boise and expected me to help her with it. I stood up and told her no for once in my life and voila! The witch is gone! I still swear God took the wrong parent however but whatever. So now I haveless stress in my life and when someone snarks at me again for spoiling my kids or spending too much on them, I get to retort back with a "Someone has to do it!"
I get tired of people judging me because I tend to overspend on my kids...I get tired of people judging me based on the fact that I spend money at all....
We bought a house. Are buying, whatever. A beautiful house, my dream house, which sits on five beautiful acres with a bueatiful creek running behind it. It's in Libby, Montana and huge. Abel helped build it about 4 years ago so we know it inside and out. And my favorite part (aside from the big kitchen and island in it) is the fact that it has a deck outside of not only the back door but what will be our room upstairs. I dream of sitting outside with hot cocoa and watching the sun set while the water is flowing. And five acres means animals. Tons of animals and a few horses. We've gotten our blessing and will never look for anything else. Praise God! This does not mean we will be moving anytime soon however. We know the people who are selling it very well so they are allowing us to rent to own and from over here. We plan on maybe two years moving over there finally. We want to have a good chunk of money down before taking off.
The kids are faring well. Hannah is going through a rebelling and stubborn streak which some days has me pulling out my hair. Other days she can be sweet as can be and so well behaved. I swear i should have had all boys, LoL. Ignacio is doing well. Pulling himself up on everything and walking along all the furniture for awhile now. Still only 4 teeth and not in a hurry to walk. At all. Sucker hauls butt when he crawls though, it's great.
Abel is working like crazy on the railroad. They kicked into busy season and should be busy for the rest of the summer and well into harvest season. No layoffs this year yay! We are looking forward to next month when the new hires are no longer students and are actual conductors. Abel will not be last man on the totem pole anymore, yay! I hate seniority sometimes...He gets stuck with all the caca jobs being last man.
And I have a job. Just a little dinky one working at our downtown gas station food area. Fixing food. I'm really good with people and customers so it does me well. I had to get it in order for Hannah to be in Head Start this year. So I did it. I'm lazy and don't want to work though mind you. But the work is so menial and there isn't much to do so it's easy enough to not complain about haha. And it's okay money considering where we are and all. With the new house, it's a good thing I got the job, every bit helps right??
I started a new diet. Sort of. The month after I had Ignacio I planned on losing 80 pounds. Half of that was baby weight and half of that was what I had on me pre-baby. I lost my baby weight 4 months after I had him. I've been trying ever since to lose the rest with no luck. So I got on diet pills with my Dr's okay. So I got OxyElite Pro from GNC. And oh my goodness! Amazing! They give me energy which I never have and so far in 4 days I've already lost 7 pounds. I've been walking everywhere and doing a lot of outside work too so that helps. I'm excited because I have dropped one pants size as well! That's more of what i want. Inches gone more so than weight but hey if I'm losing weight, I won't complain! So wish me luck on this new adventure. I have a wedding coming up for a friend and I don't want to be the overweight bridesmaid who barely fits her dress you know...
And that is about it. I get to begin the process of putting together my kid's swingset we bought them which looks intimidating and a definite time consuming job for sure. And I'm going to go see if I have enough time to write some e-mails to some family members I've been neglecting and to some friends as well. If I have time...
I hope and pray all you are doing wonderful with no trouble at this time. And soon I hope to overcome my little gray cloud here and come back into the world again. For now this is what you get and if you miss me, I'm on facebook or you can email me and I will get back to you. I have a new resolution and who cares if it's July? LoL>
Until next time!

Getting To Know Me

2010-06-27T10:27:00.000-07:00

It's the time for Mannland's getting To KNow Me Sunday series :)

1. If you had 5000.00 to spend on plastic surgery what would you have done? It's a toss up between nose job (which is actually more realisitic for me) or a boob job. I want another cup size. I'm not ashamed. God blessed me with what I have but I'm completely unproportional.

2. Do you watch Soap operas and if so what is your favorite and why? Nope. My life is enough of a soap opera without trying to keep track of fictional ones.

3. Favorite clothing brand?
Children's Place or Old Navy. Adore them!!

4. An afternoon shopping spree at your favorite store or maid service for a year?Maid service!! Who you kidding? LoL. Someone else to do my laundry oh yaaah!!

5. Would you ever vajazzle?
Va-whatta??

6. Favorite Disney Princess?
I secretly adore Mulan. No damsel in distress for that one. She took matters into her own hands, kicked ass, and at the end of teh day walked away with her man. I love her to pieces!

7. Last movie that made you bawl your eyes out?
Dear John. If you know what has gone in within my life in the past two months, and then you watch the movie, you will understand why...I just don't want to spoil the movie for those of you who haven't seen it yet.

8. Have you ever broken any bones and if so what?
My wrists. My friend was being hit by her boyfriend so I grabbed his nuts and twisted and pulled (As I refer to it, the doorknob job) and told him if he hit her again I'd kill him. As I let go he shoved me down and I fractured my wrist bones. I know can pop my thumbs out of place over and over again hehehe.

And there you go! My weekly Getting To Know Me! :D

Piece of work...

2010-06-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

So I'm home again. Finally. Did a week in Montana with the kids and did three days in Wisconsin at the Dells with my friend and her two kids. Poor husband of mine was stuck at home working. He got assigned to Canada for three weeks so I decided that I was not fully ready to be at home, alone just yet so hence the trips. And what an amazing time I had. It wasn't that we did a lot in Montana, it was the fact that I was there. I got to see family. My father's family. I got to see where my dad and I used to live, and think about all the memories we have in that area. I got to see his friends and his favorite hang outs. It brought so many wonderful memories to mind that all my hurt left. Do you realize how wonderful that trip made everything?? And Wisconsin was great too. The kids got to play in the water all day long. They got this beautiful Mexican tan. You know, where their skin is perfect golden brown. Their mother however, slathered on lotion all day, every two hours and came home redder than a lobster. It was so bad that I am STILL burned and STILL peeling and hurting. Ugh!! You'd think I was a red headed Irish woman or something. My goodness...
But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end and so as of yesterday, they had. Every wonderful feeling has left me. I'm back to missing my father more than ever and now holding onto bitter evil feelings of questioning God as to why he took my father, my best friend when I'm left with evil which calls itself my mother. The woman drives me INSANE! And while I am not one to wish death upon anyone, today I have caught myself wondering why the better parent was taken instead of the other....I used to think I had come to grips with the fact that my mother is pretty much useless. The woman is as self centered as they come. Don't believe me?? Two days after my father passed away, she calls me up.

HER: How are you?
Me:I'm fine I guess. You?
HER: Oh my gosh this drama with .... is unbearable I just don't know what I'm going to do I am so stressed out and ......

For real?? YOU'RE stressed out!?!? That's all that ran through my brain. One week after my father passed away I get another phone call.

Her: Have you gotten the life insurance check for your dad yet? I hate to do this but I'm hiring a lawyer to deal with this court stuff for me and I need to borrow some money, but I don't want to ask anyone else for it, can I count on you??

I have this insane flaw that doesn't let me tell anyone no, but at the same time I knew if I had given her money I'd kiss it goodbye forever and I had plans with that so I lied and told her I wasn't going to have it for a month or so. That cut those questions short.
Then I receive a phone call on my anniversary which got no recognition from her (big surprise there!) asking for money. She was moving out of the state and needed as much money as possible and could I buy the savings bonds she bought for my daughter so that she wouldn't have to pay me back. Then I told her maybe but as I was in Montana I would have to wait until I got home to ask Abel about it. I received a phone call and/or text everyday after that asking me if I was going to send the money and telling me how badly she needed it. Mind you, she was CHOOSING to move. It wasn't like she was being forced out. She had a fabulous job making good money so it wasn't like she got fired or needed a change of jobs or anything. This move has been a spontaneous choice.
So then yesterday I called her three times asking her if she still needed the money and where to send it as Abel and I were talking about if I could send her some. I got a text message telling me she was no longer talking to me because I wouldn't send her any money and she was tired of waiting for me so she was going to get money a different way. I literally got blackmailed from my mother! Fan-freaking-tastic. That's how she has been all my life. Over everything. She has never once helped me in life so why should I feel guilty about not helping her? I have gone to her for help or to borrow some money and would instead get a "Go ask your dad he has more money than I do" speech. Awesome right?? When my dad would send me birthday money or Christmas money or just cash for a random thing, she'd open up the letter first, take out the money and then hand me the card. When my dad found this out he would be furious! That's how she is. I would love to dish out everything she has and hasn't done for me. But that would take up the entire site and I can't do that. I just get so angry thinking about all the games she plays on me so that I bow down to her and do everything I can to please her and keep her nice and yet when I have ever needed or wanted soem sort of help or even advice, she's too good for that.
My dad was my best friend. He hated my mother and tried to warn me and tried to warn me about her and her games. I didn't want to see it. I still don't. I tried to be blind as long as possible because I'm the one who has to make everything happy even if I'm the only one hurting. I get so tired of people pleasing but yet can't stop. Why on Earth do I have to suffer without my dad and now have to suffer with my mom? The hard part? My dad isn't here to listen to me bitch and whine about her anymore. I can't talk to Abel about it because he hates her with every beat of his heart. This would egg him on even more. *sigh* So blogger friends, I have run to my blog to whine about it and hope that by jotting it down, I can get it off my chest. I hope it works...
Want to hear how else I am going crazy? I think my house is haunted. And it is scaring me so badly that I want to move. My daughter has a puzzle with like six animals on it. They are the wooden animals with the red stick coming out of each piece? You know what I mean? Well when you stick the cow in the cow slot, you hear a moo come from it. Same thing with the sheep and the dog and so on and so forth. Well the crazy part is, this puzzle is brand new and lately when we talk about my dad which isn't often, that sucker moos. With the puzzle piece still in it. It freaks me out. Last night, all night long we hear something pounding on our downstairs walls. Nothing down here. No wind. Nothing. Then my son, he has this inflatable penguin. It's like that giant clown where no matter how hard you punch it, you can't keep it down. It keeps bouncing back up. Well this thing is maybe a foot tall and has a few jingling balls in it and it plays noises and a song too I think. Well anyways, so we were talking about a week ago about selling my dad's RV and the sucker bounced over like someone had punched it. Only, no one was there! Abel, I and a friend of ours was standing four feet away. And I don't do well with ghost stories or even the thought of ghosts. I get freaked easily. So I honestly don't know if I want to knwo if something is here or not. I'm freaked either way though. But I do know one thing, I'm not crazy, because Abel has witnessed all this too. So booyha crazy people, I'm not one of you!! I DON'T see dead people....Yet...

Ugh, you know, I actually feel a pinch better. Abel says to just say screw you to my mother. Tell her that if all she wants to do is game play and have everything be all about her all of the time, then I don't have the time nor energy to deal with her. And it isn't like my kids will miss her, she has never sent even a birthday card. She has seen Hannah twice in the almost four years that she has been on this Earth and only talked to her on the phone like twice as well. But yet she gets angry when I am late sending my niece a birthday card then gets angry because I didn't put enough money in the card or send a big enough present. "Cards aren't gifts, the kids can't even read for crying out loud!" And God forbid if I buy my kids clothes and not my nieces, "They need clothes too Beckie!" Okay, wait, I'm sorry. I wasn't going to rant so I'm stopping. I'm just so...angry...pissed off...hurt too. UGH!!! Why couldn't I have had a normal mother!?!?

Alright, alright. I'm ending it here. I need to watch a good movie, drink some yummy tea and settle down. God has a plan with all this, I just need to leave Him in control and hang on for the ride...I hope you all are having a much better weekend than I. Fourth of July is coming up, any big plans??

I shall be back! Once I'm in a better mood. Not so ranty and all :) Much love to you all!! Goodnight!

Hermie Review

2010-06-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

This will be mighty short as I in the past hour have come home from my spontaneous trip to Montana. I'm not even going into the chaos that greeted me as I walked into the house....Egad!! So I will actually blog later...But for now...

I recently got a Hermie movie in the mail and watched it while we were gone. It's called Who Is In Charge Anyways? and it was super cute!!

When Freddie hears Hailey and Bailey ask their mother whats special about fleas, he think it's time to have a talk with God.

Freddie is reminded that Hermie and Flo and Buzby and Webster and even Antonio all had to learn important lessons before their special talents were put to use. Freddie learns that God didn't make anybody by accident, and that he's not finished with us yet.

It contains newly animated flashbacks of key garden characters in their youth along with pivotal scenes from classic episodes from the past. And the lesson is based upon Psalm 90:16 "Show your servants the wonderful things you do; show your greatness to their children."

Hannah really loves the Hermie series and the Buzby as well and this one didn't let us down at all. If you haven't found the Hermie series yet you absolutely have to try at least one. You'll be hooked!! :D

I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts....

2010-06-06T09:02:00.001-07:00

Deedly dee!! LoL. I love that movie...Wish I had it now. Ever get movie cravings? Where you just really want to watch a specific movie right now? I get those more frequently than food cravings. Hmm...

So how was everyone's week? Hoping all went well with everyone. I finally got my beautiful car. And loving it so much. It's a much bigger step to driving a car that literally runs on it's last leg. And now I have room for both of my children and groceries or something else at the same time. I used to have to put one or both kids in daycare in order to go grocery shopping. Not anymore :) And I'm not scared of driving anymore either. Best part ever.

I have accompplised paying off 85% of our debt. I love the brand new feeling that I have. I feel new. It's taken what seems like forever but it's finally almost over and I may end up with some credit yet! Yay!

the only part is, I feel mucky. On the outside I'm fine of course. I shower. But on the inside I feel...weird. like a little dark and murky. I can't really describe it. One of my closest friends has been ignoring me. She's the kind of person like I am, when I'm sad or upset, I shut down. She does too. And that's what she is doing. It's hard to not feel upside down. We're planning on going to Wisconsin on a trip with the kids at the end of the month and now I'm not so sure what's going on. I don't like it though, that's for sure.

So to bring a little sunshine into life I've decided to venture home for about a week. Abel is getting sent to Portal, Canada for at least a week and I don't feel like hanging around here alone for an entire week if not more. The house is too empty. I dis-like it. So I'm going to go visit my bestie and hang with her for a week. Plus, it'll be nice to be in Montana again. My mom is moving up to Bonners Ferry, Idaho in about a month so she's hoping that will help get me over there faster, haha.

My kitties are doing well. Such sweet little buggers. Hannah of course has to truck them everywhere but for the most part, they fit in great. Now if we could only find a home for our dog who attempted to eat one of the kitties, we'd be great!

For the most part that is it for me. I'm going to clean, get some groceries and pack. I'm heading out tomorrow same time as Abel does. So busy day ahead of me! Yay! So I hope you all have a fabulous week and I will be on when I get back.

Happy Birthday Gucci Mama!!!!

2010-06-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

I like big. And bold. And what's bigger and bolder than posting about the high queen of Gucci's birthday!?!? That's right, today out of all the holy days in the year is the holiest. She turns another year sweeter, wiser, and more refined. Just not older, hehehe. Once you get to the high Queendom, you won't age either :P

If you have no idea who I am talking about, you should be ashamed! Letting such a fantastic woman (and a great bloggy friend as well!) get past you. You should visit her by clicking on her link. If that isn't incentive as it is, she is giving away something! I knwo right?!? Insane for someone to give away a gift on their own birthday!! But that's who she is, always giving and wonderful. So Gucci Mama I sincerly wish you a very happy birthday. And I hope today has nothing but happiness, great memories and blessings galore!

Meow! (& a little Getting To Know Me too!)

2010-05-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Life here has gotten twice as exciting! ;) We have added two sweet, yet shy, babies to our household! They are adorable, loving, a little shy, and yet hairy as can be and only going to get more so as they grow! Sisters and April Fool's day babies which is even more cooler! I have never known anyone who was born on April 1st. Have you?? Oh by the way...These are our new kittens, not humans, haha. No idea what we are going to call them yet, hopefully in a few days we will think of something.

And of course from Mannland a little Getting To Know Me session....Enjoy!

1. Have you ever snooped around someone else's house?
No, honestly I don't. I can't even pee in someone else's bathroom let alone snoop!

2. Can guys and girls be friends?
Yes. I'm one of those girls who had a very few amount of actual girl-friends and a whole crapload of guy-friends. Guys are so much less work. They can be awesome listeners, the best critics, and totally less drama. The only bad thing about being a guy's friend is dealing with his girl-friends. For some reason, just because I have been his friend for over 4 years, you think I want his body and don't want you in the picture. Puh-lease. Women, if you're man has a friend who is a girl, get over it. She's been there longer than you and obviously, if she had wanted your man at all, any more than just a friend, she would have acted on her feelings long before you came along. Ugh!

3. Can you curl your tongue?
I'm pretty sure that's what it's called, LoL.

4. Have you ever stolen anything?
Once when I was 6 I stole a pack of 25 cent gum. I got caught and cried as I had to apologize and give it back. I was so embarrassed I never went back. Then when I was 16 I took a pair of earrings from a store in the mall. Why? To see if I could. After I got away with it, I slid them back into the store and kept walking.

5. Would you rather talk on the phone or text?
If you know me outside of blogger, you know that I am a texter. I hate talking on the phone because I feel so awkward. And shy. I don't know why. I avoid calls from even my own mother so it isn't personal or against anyone or anything like that. I do talk to a very few friends, one from here and one from Montana back where I am from. I'll get over it one day I suppose...I hope...

6. Memorial Day plans?
Not really any. We've never made a huge deal out of the weekend, usually my dad will go out for a few drinks with his buddies and we hang out here. Tomorrow we will be remembering my dad who was in the Marine Corps and the Air Force and a few of my family who were also in the military.

7. What do you do to relax?
Relax? What is that?? I try to read and chill out for the most part. When I used to have panic attacks a few years ago I used to spray my bed and pillows with lavender spray, put on my i-pod to Enya and read a good book as I sipped on lemon water. It worked so well. I never took off the headphones even when I fell asleep. I'm so anti medicine it isn't funny....

8. Do you do anything to honor those that have died fighting for our freedom?
I'm ashamed to say I don't. I have never known anyone who died in action. When I see a Vet. or a soldier home on leave, I thank them. Always, always thank a soldier! My father served two tours in Vietnam during his 25 years in the Marine Corps. I always told him how proud I was to have him as my father and for what he did. Especially during that time when no one approved of the war. So even if you don't approve of this war going on, don't blame our soldiers, they day daily to protect us and to do their duty to our country. But thank them and try to help them in any way possible.

Oooh what a week...

2010-05-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

Only in this great nation of ours can one person go to court, sue someone for visitations and guardianship over a child that isn't theirs in any way shape or form and WIN!!! Love it! My mother's ex-girlfriend (yes, you hear me correctly and this will possibly explain a little bit why I don't believe in certain acts...)decided after they broke up to sue my mother for this. Over my sister's baby. Yes, that would make it my mother's grand-daughter. Stupid right?? Oh it gets better. This woman, this repulsive pathetic excuse for a human being decided to throw a brick through my mother's living room and bedroom windows (and was witnessed doings o mind you!) And also removed the brakes and reverse in my mother's van (and also witnessed doing so!) and has also admitted to a judge that she is a drug user and alcoholic and yet. YET! she has won visitation over my niece. What the heck dude!?! And people wonder why I want to move to Canada? Ugh...

Yesterday I made a trip to our local ER. My body decided to wake me up in pain and so I headed over to see if my kidney was bursting which it felt like it was going to do. All I have ever heard from people, doctors and civilians alike mind you, is how drug seekers need to stop seeking drugs, and how they are pathetic and blah blah blah. But yet when I refuse all pain meds, they try to talk me into taking some. Narcotics even! Umm I think the real problem lies within our doctors and nurses. Quit begging people to take meds and we won't have drug seekers right?? LoL I'm not really pissy today I'm just ... bewildered at people. Anyways, after all was said and done I have a cyst ready to rupture, some inflammation and a small kidney stone. It isn't bad, honest. But that's because mine is so small and I probably already passed it by now. Great! Good to know. My kidney still hurts though....

I'm going to be a maid of honor in a friend's wedding. never been in a wedding other than my own. I think it will be pretty fun. Once I get over the fact that we will all be wearing tangerine. Hmm...LoL. It's a fun color don't get me wrong but me in a strapless tangerine dress? I dunno...The really awesome part is that my husband is the best man for it too so I will have an excuse to be with him :) Yayness! The wedding is in October so if you all wanna see me look like a girl (rarely done) stick around, it should be exciting ;)

A friend and I are heading to the Wisconsin Dells in a month. It's only 9 hours away so it isn't too bad of a drive or anything. I've never been to Wisconsin so I'm excited about that. And for 3 days, we will be living at a the country's largest water park and resort. Love it!!

Certain special friends on here, my bloggy besties :) will know what I'm talking about here in my next rant. I love blogging. Simply because this is the one place I can be me, can vent and cant rant and never once be afraid or ashamed. That is because I don't tell my friends or family that I blog. It isn't that I don't trust them with this blog but only because I don't feel I can totally be me without some sort of a consequence you know? While I am also on Facebook, I am never quite me on there. When Abel and I argue or having a skirmish, I have never broadcasted it on there. Rather I play like everything is perfect all of the time. So a few days I wrongly went a vented about a recent tiff we had. i don't have my dad here so I didn't have anyone to run to and vent on which is where I can freely speak without thinking you know? So I ranted on my facebook status. Where I promptly got chewed out by Abel's younger, un-married, single mother, sister. Who has no clue what goes on here but will stand up for her brother no matter who or what. She's very into drama and very immature still. Well some very great friends of mine had my back and promptly dealt with it in a comical way. I thought it was freaking hilarious, she on the other hand did not. So I apologized, for she held me responsible (because as everyone should know, I tell my friend exactly what to do, I am the great puppet master ;) ) and then I deleted it shortly after because I knew she would run to Abel about it all. I texted her for about 20 minutes talking to her and explaining what was going on and my side of story and dealt with her beef basically. Then the last thing I asked was "Are we cool?" "Of course we are, don't worry about a thing! Now I know what is going on, I understand!" Yeeeaaah....So Abel comes in 4 hours later pissed off and we have at it. Why?? Oh because his siter ran and tattled to him. How I was badmouthing him all over facebook and how my friends were chewing into her all for nothing and out of nowhere and she's really worried about us and blah blah blah. Not only am I fuming (still) over the fact that she went behind my back and created a fight for Abel and I, but this is the girl who when she has been in trouble (Quite frequently) I'm the first one to tell her how we will send money or how I will drive down to California to come get her and bring her up here to live with us and anything else she needs. Yes I was wrong to vent on Facebook for all the world to see but don't come between my husband and I. Ever. So, little sister-in-law got her ass deleted. I don't feel bad about it either. In fact doing so makes me want to delete his whole damn family. Why the heck not? I'm so anti family right now. No one will ever live up to my standards now that my dad is gone. No one loved my children more than my father. He was the only relative to even give my kids cards or to think of them. Never mind the fact that he spoiled them to piss. Not the point. Now I am stuck with no one. Abel says it isn't anyone job to do anything for my kids, and you know what? You are right Abel. For once I agree. It also isn't my job to go see anyone nor send cards either nor give out photos. So if these "family members" want anything to do with my kids, they will have to start giving first. Cards are top of my lists along with a visit every five years or so. Abel has declared California a no visit zone which I can live with. We have gone down at least once a year, every year for visits, not anymore! Ugh feels sooo good! Ever since dad died, I've been bogged down with stress, it feels so great to vent and get some off my chest. I have decided to be a little selfish and start putting myself first for awhile. Not in a bad way but I tired of doing and giving for others and getting nothing back you know? My family sucks. Some of my old friends suck. So I'm done.

I feel good now. Thank you for letting me vent. I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow. I splurged and bought a new carpet shampooer because I have never owned one and my carpet is trashed. So I hope I can salvage it by washing it and I know I feel tons better afterwards too. Loove it!

So my little puppets, I hope you are having a fabulous day! If not then I hope it only ends fabulously. I think everyone deserves a Starbucks and a foot massage! Now if I had more $$ I might take me up on that...For now have a great evening and day tomorrow and I shall blog again later! (And happier!)

God's Promises For Boys.

2010-05-20T05:25:00.000-07:00

Such an adorable book! I requested it from www.booksneeze.com Have you checked it out yet? Request a book and get it for free, then you in turn review it and as soon as your review is in, you can request another book :) Simple and fun. This time I requested this book for Hannah and am really excited! It's absolutely adorable and lots of fun to read too!

By Jack Countryman, Amy Parker(2010) - 128 pages

"God promises when...You want to be cool."

"Stylin', chillin', and rollin' your way
Are fine when you're breaking no rules.
But helpin' and respectin', and followin' God's ways
Are the one way to be coooool."

"Do not be shaped by this world. Instead be
changed within a new way of thinking. Then you
will be able to decide what god wants for you.
And you will be able to know what is good and
pleasing to Godand what is perfect.
Romans 12:2"

"So through Jesus let us always offer our sacrifice to
God. Thsi sacrifice is our praise, coming from lips that
speak His name. Do not forget to do good to others.
And share with them what you have. These are
the sacrifices that please God.
Hebrews 13:15-16"

I did a review for the girl's version a few blogs ago so I'm basically going to copy my review for that one as these books are the same, they just differ with what the verses used and for what reason. The Bible that we bought for Hannah and will be buying for Ignacio, is where they got the verses from, so not only will Ignacio become familiar with the book because of the Bible, but it will also push him to use his Bible more, in order to look up the verses. The promise verses are used to offer comfort and encouragement when a boy is feeling afraid, lonely, worried, angry, dissatisfied, discouraged, sad, rebellious, impatient, or sick and when they need reassurance of God's protection, love, forgiveness, help and that He listens when they pray. It's a great way for boys to hide God's Word in their hearts. Defintely a recommendation from me! Hannah loves hers and I know Ignacio will too!

Back To Life

2010-05-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

Oh Blogger and friends, I really have missed you. Some of you have been on my mind a lot these past few days. And I have pulled blogger up a few times over the last week and then chickened out on writing something. I don't want to focus on my father's passing. It may consume me but it doesn't meant I need to bring everyone else down and chase you away with saddening blather right? Right.

My aunt and uncle left this morning. We got to drop off my kids at a friend's house and then take off yesterday for Minneapolis. It was eventful because while I was driving, I managed to blog a tire. And then, if anyone has been through North Dakota or Minnesota, a lot of places aren't named, you literally are in the middle of nowhere so you must rely on mile markers. I didn't. So I had to call 911, report to a state trooper who located us and sent a tow truck and himself to help us. I was ever so grateful! And then we got to go to a closed Mall of America to eat at my most favorite place to eat in the whoooole world, Bubba Gump's. It brightened my day so much and I even got a t-shirt and souvenir key chain. I am a huge fan of key chains. It's a bad habit actually but I love them. If there's a story behind them, I collect them. And especially if I go somewhere memorable, I get one. I have more key chains then keys now, LoL. Addictions get the best of us.

It's eerily quiet in my house and while my family was here I was able to forget about dad. Now I have no choice but to face it. I hate it only because I miss him. A lot. I feel guilty that I abused the time that he was here and didn't take advantage of it. I feel sad because my goal was for him to see Ignacio's first steps just as he did with Hannah. And I feel especially sad because the one grandparents who loved my children and showed any caring feelings for them, is no longer here. I feel sad. But I also know that his passing was really the best. Sitting on this Earth, stuck in a hospital room for 3 months and suffering for a single breath was not the way he should have lived. And I know in my heart we will meet again :)

I'm finally getting a new car. Almost all of this nasty paperwork is finished and my father's wishes are being respected to a T. Bills are being paid off completely, a car is on it's way, and money is going to my children's savings accounts. We had him cremated and it was the only wish I wish I didn't respect however. Let me take the time right now to advise you all out there, please, PLEASE have a will. If you don't have one, get one and if you do, make sure it is up to date with children and wishes and such. Create a living will as well. Don't take for granted that you will have tomorrow and if you don't, please take the time to consider life after you leave. Do you realize how expensive it is to die?? The bills you leave behind will be left to your lucky loved ones to pay off for you. People will have no clue what to do with your estate. And people will fight. It's a given. And if you don't have life insurance, get some of that as well. Out of consideration and love for your family.

I'm heading to Wisconsin next month. A friend and I are taking our kids to the Wisconsin Dells. Anyone been there before?? It looks amazing. Utterly and blissfully amazing. I can't wait. I need a vacation.

Another piece of bright news, we are getting a kitty! More exciting than anything right now. I'm a MAJOR cat fan. And with the house so lonely I told Abel that since I'm home all of the time, I'm getting me a cat. When I was little I was determined to grow up and be the crazy cat lady down the street. It starts :)

So anyways folks. That's my updates for now. I'm so tired from lack of sleep all week long and now that the kids are asleep I think I may follow that trend and head out. I love and adore you all, thank you for your awesome words of comfort and encouragement and your prayers especially. Thank you for being so kind and for being such amazing friends and I promise, I will be back. I got a new book in and it needs a review ;) Until then....

New Meaning

2010-05-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day will forever have a new meaning for me. Today, the day before Mother's Day, I lost my father. I lost one of my closest friends. The closest friend. My leaning tower of strength, the one who gave me wisdom and advice when I needed it, the one who taught me everything I know and the one who taught me how to be strong. I also am proud of the stubborness I got from him even. It's hard for me right now because it doesn't even feel real right now. He spent the last 3 months in the hospital so if I sit here and don't think of anything, I can pretend that all I have to do is pick up the phone and call him and he'll answer. And I'm proud because I lasted exactly two hours without breaking down and crying. Until now.
I e-mailed him this morning. Why? I don't know. But in a way, it makes me feel somewhat closer to him knowing I can at least send him messages. I can escape in a letter for just fifteen minutes. I can pretend that what I send him will somehow get read. Common sense tries to kick in but I chase it away.
Today was the first sunny day in over two weeks. Warm and beautiful and my birds were back. I kind of wished it would have been cloudy and rainy like it has been. A nice big storm would have fit my mood. It doesn't seem right that I can't be happy and energetic like usual. I can't even push these feelings away like I usually do. I know my dad, if he were here, would tell me to get them out. Grieve now and get it out and then start moving on. I know he would tell me to tough it up. As much as I want to curl up in my bed and be there for days, I can't. I have kids that need my attention. Bills to take care of. Papers to find. Lawyers to consult. Family is coming. So is the funeral.
That will be the end. That will be the day that I have to accept that this is really happening. This is not some awful nightmare. Like the one I had three days ago. I dreamt he passed away but in my dream I never cried. That should have been my warning. Because the worst of it? We didn't expect it to happen this soon. He was going to be coming home this week. I didn't feel good so I didn't go visit yesterday. I didn't even call him. And now I feel sick to my stomache racked with guilt and shame because I wasn't there. I left him alone all because I was selfish and didn't want to suffer just a little bit to go visit him. Or even call. How hard would that have been? I didn't tell him I loved him. I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to see him one last time. But the one thing I have in my mind was when I saw him last, he finally had enough strength to hold my son. He held Ignacio and hugged him and kissed him and even fed him ice cream and laughed about it. My last memory will always be a happy one. Hannah was behaving for once. She gave her papa a big hug and asked him to come home. I have a happy last memory so I can't be regretful for that. I just have regrets of another nature I suppose.
I'm not blogging for sympathy. I had to vent. I have nowhere else to vent. I'm sure my husband and mother are tired of my phone calls, texts and just overall sadness. So for now, I will get through each day, one day at a time. My aunts and uncles are coming down so I won't be alone. And hopefully he is watching down on me from Heaven. Maybe I gained a new guardian angel. The thought that makes me incredibly happy is the picture of my father walking with my grandmother. No oxygen hoses, no pic lines, no gaspin or wheezing and no wheelchairs. Walking. Happily. In peace and painfree.
So today is not just the day before Mother's Day. It is now the day that my father, Richard Montgomery, took his place above. The day God chose another angel to join him.

You can shed a tear that he is gone, or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him, or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow because of yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he's gone, or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, or you can do what he'd want: Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Rest in peace dad, we love you so much and will miss you always!!

Richard Montgomery

Nov. 22nd 1940 - May 8th 2010

God's Promises For Girls.

2010-05-07T06:06:00.000-07:00

God's Promises For Girls.

Such an adorable book! I requested it from www.booksneeze.com Have you checked it out yet? Request a book and get it for free, then you in turn review it and as soon as your review is in, you can request another book :) Simple and fun. This time I requested this book for Hannah and am really excited! It's absolutely adorable and lots of fun to read too!

By Jack Countryman, Amy Parker(2010) - 128 pages

"God promises when...You live like His princess"

""Did you know you are a princess?
Yes, a daughter of the King!
So live the life of royalty,
And show the joy God's love can bring!""

"Trust the Lord and do good
Live in the land and enjoy it's safety.
Enjoy serving the Lord
And he will give you what you want.
Depend on the Lord.
Trust him, and he will take good care of you.
Then your goodness will shine like the sun.
Your fairness will shine like the noonday sun.
Psalm 37:3-6"

"You are children of the Lord your God...
He has chosen you from all the people on
earth to be his very own
Deuteronomy 14:1-2"

The thing that gets me is that the Bible that we bought Hannah, was where they got the verses from so not only will she become familiar with the book because of her Bible, but it will also push her to use her Bible more, in order to look up the verses. It's easy to understand and it uses day to day things, such as fear of monsters or spiders, to sadness and lonelyness. It isn't very long so it doesn't intimidate you but what it has is very useful and will help a young girl get through her day's easier. If you know or have a little girl, this book would definitely be a great help for her! They also have one for young boys too. Definitey recommend them both!

Mother's Day

2010-05-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

This year, not only am I celebrating the wonderful mothers around me, I'm also celebrating my children. My reasons for being able to particiapte in this day at all. My beautiful and goofy 3 year old little girl who teaches me something new everyday and who shows me what love truly is. And my insanely handsome and playful 9 month old little boy who shows me what letting go can really do and who has taught me to live each day as if it were the last. And for the three who I wasn't allowed to keep with me here on Earth. Whom I love just as much as the ones I have with me even though I wasn't able to keep them with me for long.

I hope and pray each one of you get to have a wonderful day with your family and/or friends and that you are celebrated along with your children and your mothers. Because if your mother is as crazy as mine, in twenty years, you'll know how she got that way ;)

BLAGH!

2010-05-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

What on Earth was I thinking!?!?! Ignacio hasn't had teeth for the past 8 months. And I was in a hurry for him to get them why!?!? The boy has been a whiny, nose-dripping, drooling, cranky mess for the past three days. Granted he finally popped his first tooth yesterday but dear Lord make it stop!! It is looking like he will pop another one real soon. I don't mind the teeth popping but my wonderful perfect angel baby has morphed into this...this...MONSTER! Argh I forgot how much of a pill babies can get to be when they are teething. I swore I wouldn't give this one Tylenol. I'm not a medicine momma. But this has gotten so bad that I ran to the store, got some and then gave him half a dose last night. I couldn't do it without it. I feel bad for him, really I do but oh my word....LoL.

Today was the city wide garage sale. I must have hit 2o houses and came up with some cool stuff but then with loads of uncool stuff. I bought a V-Smile with 6 games and turns out the game system is going out already. I want to gripe about wasting $20 but that really was a steal and if I have to buy the game system itself, at least I have the games right? I didn't find any clothes for my son. Zero! Walmart doesn't carry very many boy clothes and what they do have, I've not been able to get in his size. And I'm down to a handful of shirts and onesies and like 3 pairs of pants. I hate, HATE not having a ton of clothes for him. He'll be in 6-9 months for awhile so I just need to find a ton. I hear rumor of there being an all city garage sale for Minot (the next biggest city closest to us) in two weeks so if I can dig up money, I will be going just for him. I did get a few clothes for Hannah but nothing like I expected. Summer will be here soon and what I normally do is buy her entire summer wardrobe and then some from this garage sale thing. Not this year! Walmart here I come! I did manage to find a treasure though! A BIG treasure! Beverly Lewis wrote the Abram's Daughter's series. I gave mine to our church for their new library they had built, a few years back and although I was sad about it (they were my favorite series!) I knew I was doing something much better than keeping them to myself. Well today, I hit the Relay For Life sale and guess what I found!? All 5 books in the series for a quarter a piece! Brand new condition too. To me, books are greater worth than jewelry or clothes. No lie. So when I found these I almost bawled! I took them and donated more to them because of how excited I was and they were raising money for Cancer research. My day was not a waste at all because of this, haha. How goofy am I?!?

My sister-in-law, her fiance and their baby boy (who is 2 months younger than Ignacio) are coming to visit in two more weeks. It's a surprise that my husband does not know about which I think is absolutely great! I love secrets and am awesome at keeping them. Mainly because I forget all about the secret itself, haha. But I'm excited to get the boys together to play with each other and take tons of photos and of course visit with my SIL. I'm not so crazy about my drug dealing, gangster soon-to-be-BIL buuut I'll get over it. If he has to come in order to see my family, so be it! Does that make me sound like a bad person? Honest I'm not...

I got a job! Oooh I have been so tired I haven't been blogging lately but I got a job and that is my excuse. I had to get out of the house to do something and it hasn't been bad leaving the kids. Mainly because I'm only gone two nights a week but still, it's something and makes me feel like I'm doing something other than cleaning and sitting around the house. I'm cooking in a brand new restaurant. It's been fun so far but all we have been doing is cleaning, organizing and inventory. Grand opening is next Friday. I am nervous but at the same time I know it will be fine. I'm only in charge of the appetizers and fried food because let's face it, that's all I know. And honestly, that's all I really want to know. As long as I don't touch bacon though, I will be fine. I burn bacon no matter how low of heat it is and how short of time it cooks. Pathetic. I know...

Now that I have updated I think I will run off and go read some of my books. I still am getting through my Karen Kingsbury books. I'm on the Forever series of the Baxter family series. I LOOOVE this series and have begun collecting her books now too. I've gotten all but the last 2 books in the Sunrise series :( Oh well...So anyways, i hope everyone is having a fabulous day and that it isn't grey and rainy for you like it is here. I will blog again later! Until then, be blessed and have a fabulous week!!

[LATE] Getting To Know You

2010-04-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

I apologize! I'm super late! Supposed to have had this up this morning, my bad. We had a lot going on today and as it was one of THOSE days, we'll take the fact that I posted this at all and love on that one, LoL. So you know what to do. Hit up MannLand and check these out!

1. If you could star in any movie genre..what would it be..romance..horror..comedy..suspense or action?
Ooh definitely comedy. I would feel a little adulterous if I was in a romance with anyone other than my husband. Comedy is what I love watching and living in real life so I think I could totally pull it off for a movie :)

2. Do you recycle?
Kind of. I save all my egg cartons and give them to the egg farmers around here. I get free eggs in return which is nice but I don't save them for that reason. I don't save my cans but as much soda as my husband and father drink, I will be. I do save my can tabs though. Did you know if you save your pop can tabs and give them to the Ronald McDonald House, you are giving them money? They use them for money for the people they help. DO IT!

3. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Honestly? No. Have I ever watched a porn? Nope. Dirty mags? Nope. No interest I guess. I have this amazing looking guy here *coughcoughHUSBANDcoughcough* and for that, I don't need any other man ;)

4. Do you have a nickname?
Becca. Beckie. And the one that I still sadly carry on from high school, Jew.

5. What's a name you can't stand to be called?
White girl. Cracker. Seriously. I go back to Fresno to visit Abel's family and it scares me. Mexican women glare at me because I'm with Abel, a Mexican. The little city they are from right outside of Fresno, is ALL Mexican. No white people. And no exaggerating. Why didn't I stick with my own kind? i get that one A LOT. I can't stand the names they call me in Spanish or English and I can't stand that they hate on me just because I'm white. Get a life.

6. What are your Summer staples?
Jeans. No seriously, no matter how hot it is, I am always in a pair of jeans. I can't show off my legs. It isn't that they are fat. They aren't too bad (until you hit mid-thigh) but with Hannah I ended up with so many scars thanks to my PUPPS and also with about 12-20-something big blue veins all over my calves. I'm too ashamed to show off my legs because I know people will stare and I know they aren't pretty. I'm embarressed and I honestly have very little self esteem. I bought a dress this year. I may wear it so I can stick my feet in the baby pool when I take the kids.

7. What was the last thing you bought for yourself?
HA! I buy myself things?? No, no I take that back. I bought Biggest Loser for the Wii for myself. Before that...No clue. I don't ever buy myself things. Unless it's food, LoL.

8. Are you happy with your boob size?
Yes. I like them. I just would like them a little higher. Haha.

Five Question Friday!

2010-04-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

First off let me say welcome to my new followers! :) I hope I don't let you down in anyway and that we may become friends :)

Today is Friday as you know. And as I have been pretty mundane lately, I thought I could use a little something new. Different. So welcome to Five Question Friday. Anything that helps me let go of myself a little and tell more of myself is always welcome. Lol No honest, I'm not vain or full of myself.

So without further ado, courtesy of My Little Life here's Five Questions!

1. What was the first car you owned?
It was a 1985 Dodge Ram that I bought from my father. Yes, you heard me right. I purchased my own rig from none other but my father. All of my friends had beautiful brand new cars. You think I'm exaggerating but I'm sadly not. But out of everyone in my grade, I took the best care of my vehicle. My father taught me responsibility at an early life. His favorite phrase? "Nothing is free and no one ever gets handouts in life so quit looking and start working." And that was awesome. I paid half my insurance and paid all of my gas. Anything that needed work on my father paid for however. But he got it all done free I found out years later, LoL. Thanks to a family friend. This was awesome though and it taught me so much that I may not have liked learning then but appreciate now. And when my kids hit the ripe old age of able to own a car, they took will not be given one for free but will in fact purchase their own. It teaches morals, appreciation, responsibility and doesn't give room for laziness. Things that children nowadays (and some grow-ups too) lack...

2. What song are you embarrassed to know the lyrics to?
Any Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears or yes, Justin Bieber, LoL. I love pop. Still do. *blush*

3. Have you ever had stitches?
Twice. I had two on each cheek when I had my jaw surgery done. They had to cut a hole in my cheeks in order to put two screws into my jaw. It's a messy story never you mind...And then I had a few honeymoon stitches when I had Hannah.

4. What was your first job?
I got two at the same time. I was 15 and worked at Pizza Ranch here in town and I also worked at our local radio station as a DJ. Mostly on the weekends and for 3 hours everyday after school. It was fun!

5. Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?
Big Bird!! He's always been my favorite. Him and Snuffy. I try to get Hannah to watch them buts he has no interest. But turn on that awful Yo Gabba Gabba and boom! She's glued.

Now you guys get to head on over to My Little Life and link up and do your own!! Thanks for reading!

I Wish.

2010-04-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

*I wish I had a better camera. I get tired of buying the cheapest one I can afford, use it for a few months even though the picture quality kinda sucks and then find it breaking on me, despise how great I treat it. I've been burning for a nice Canon or Nikon one. You know those ones that are in the, oh I don't know, $500 range? Yeah...My $50 one is dying on me and I could cry. I find the photos that are worth taking are always happening when I don't have a camera on me. Go figure.

*I wish that I wasn't having a guilty issue over wanting a really great camera. When asked what I want for my birthday or Christmas, first answer is always money. So I can shop for my kids. And I do. Well until Abel quit giving me money. Apparently I'm not supposed to spend money on others when it's given to me. Oops.

*I wish I didn't do such stupid things. Yet I do them constantly. I've been slipping up on my swearing lately. I haven't cussed since high school and I have found myself slipping some out lately. I could blame it on the people we hang out with but it's my fault. Temptation of any kind is not a friend of mine at all. I lose. Always. And I hate it too. I also messed up in a big way a few days ago too. I'm ashamed of myself because it was stupid. Really stupid. I was in a lazy yet rushed sort of moment and performed a ridiculous mistake. Everything was resolved which was kind of the person but still. I have a lot of guilt. I hold on to thing. Especially when I mess up. I can forgive everyone out there no matter what happens (trust me on that!) and yet when I myself screw up? I don't forgive myself at all...

*I wish I didn't have baby fever already. Not so much baby FEVER as it is sadness that I can't have anymore babies of my own. No doubt about, we will adopt from here on out but I just feel so robbed right now. Selfish sort of mood I'm in, can you tell?? Ignacio is getting so big, clapping his hands, walking along the couch, crawling, saying da-da, feeding himself. All these milestones hit and I am so excited and am ever the proud mam but with every one that comes, it makes me sad. No more baby. I'll get over it.

*I wish companies, designers, stores and people in general understood the fact that a 2 year old child should NOT be allowed to wear such revealing clothing. We put such hatred towards child molesters (with all reason!) but yet dress our children in the clothing that draws a man's eyes to their little innocent bodies. I saw an episode of The Duggars (Yes I LOVE them!) where their girls wore what looked like jumpsuit bathing suits. I wish I had one honestly. Hannah's butt cheeks hang out of her bathing suit. Her suit makes it look as if she has cleavage. She's 3!! And that is okay by society's standards?? It makes me sick.

*I wish people didn't dog the Duggar family so much. They do a much better job raising their children (all 19 of them mind you!) than I do with my 2. Seriously. Have you ever seen any of them raise their voices at their children in anger?? I do. All the time. I see myself feeling guilty when I watch their show because I wish I was better. Person, friend, mother, you name it.

*I wish I had more interesting things to write about some days...Maybe a good hot topic could rile everyone up would be really interesting, LoL.

Book Review time!

2010-04-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

So, I joined Booksneeze and have been able to request books and review them for free. Which not only is an awesome freebie but also gives me a chance to read new books. Ones that I would not normally read. It's opened my eyes :) This time I requested Mary-Ann Kirby's I Am Hutterite.
It's a fascinating true story of a young woman's journey to reclaim her heritage.
In 1969, Ann-Marie Dornn's parents did the unthinkable. They left a Hutterite colony near Portage La Prairie, Manitoba with seven children and little else, to start a new life. In one day, they were thrown into a world they knew nothing about and the world they were in, knew very little about them. Obviously, it was quite overwhelming. Ann-Marie, who was only 10 years old then, was forced to deny her background and where she came from in order to try to fit in.
This book basicaly chronicles her life and mission to reinvent herself as she learns about the painful circumstances that forced her family to leave behind teh only life she knew.
It's a really good book and extremely interesting and I definitly give it thumbs up. I just wish some parts weren't as slow as they were. I'm just not used to reading true stories or biographies or anything of that nature nor this. So overall, I liked it. :)

Update On The Chaos

2010-04-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

So I disappeared for awhile, I hope you noticed :) Dad had gone into the hospital last week, but this time only 18 hours after he got out. He was knocking on death's door too. I had to sign DNR papers on him which was the hardest thing to do for me. I felt (and still feel partly) that it was me giving up on him. The medical part of my mind knows that honestly, it is the best thing. Let God do what He is going to do and not intervene. Dad has been suffering for so long, it's time for him to go home and be at peace. But the me side of things is yelling out "That's my dad! Make him live! Do something!" The hardest part of the 3 days of not knowing if he was going to live, was watching him suffer. They had him on so much morphine it was unbelievable. And yet he was still hurting and struggling to breathe and at times would just quit breathing. Now he is doing much better. He had a white count of 60 thousand which they tell me is enormously too high. 8 thousand is normal?? He is sitting in a chair now and they are discussing physical therapy now that he is doing better. He's definitely much weaker and sleeps a lot more now but he's here. I'm told he won't be for long, that this scare was only the first and they don't think that with the next time, he will make a recovery. So we are just taking it day by day and enjoying what time we have with him.
My aunt Bev and uncle Chuck came down from Washington DC to stay with me and be with us during this whole thing. I have never met my aunt before due to family issues from before but this week with them was the blessing out of the whole thing. My whole philosophy on look for the bright spot in every situation is always, ALWAYS true. You just have to be willing to look. And in my situation here, that was my bright spot. I met and hung out with family. I got to learn more about my grandparents who died before I was born. I got to find out that I look like someone other than my mother. And I got to hear stories about my dad and learn more about him and his life pre-me. Plus, we had a really great time playing cards and just hanging out. They are coming out here again in September with my cousin Tim and his wife and son and will be here for more than a week. And next year, we are planning on using Abel's vacation for a trip out to them.
The kids are doing good through this. Hannah isn't really aware of what is going on. Just that papa is in the hospital again and not feeling well. Even though she is only 3, we are pretty straight forward with her. I never had people straight up with me as a kid so I'm changing that with her. She knows about death, we have had plenty of fish and even a cat die. And she does okay with it. She may not totally grasp it completely yet but at least she knows. It's just going to break my heart more for her than anything. She is a true to heart papa's girl.
So that is what has been occupying us for the past week. Been a bucketful of fun I tell ya. But everyone is doing well now. My family is taking off today for home. My aunt works for the Supreme Court and they have been calling her daily for assistance and how-to's so she has to sadly get back to work. And my uncle works in one of the Smithsonian museums, I can't remember doing what. So life in the big city is telling them to get home, LoL. And now I get to start two big wedding projects for some friends of mine. I'm making guest book scrapbooks for them. Create teh book up and then snap pictures of the families that come and then have them sign their page and later put their picture up where they signed and instead of a blahsy guestbook with just names signed, you get photos too. Am I the only one who looks back on my guestbook and can't remember who half of the peole are? I reconize faces but not names. How awful is that? I wish I had done this at my wedding...
So anyways, I'm off to tend to my e-mails and other virtual errands and then to deal with the rest of the day. Lots of love and best thoughts for the day!

Getting To Know You - Sunday, Funday :)

2010-04-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

Due to all kinds of chaos, I have not been on for a while. More about that on a different note. For now, I leave you our Sunday edition of Getting To Know You, courtesy of the ever famous Mannland5

1. Men's chests..hairy or hairless?
Ugh! Definitely hairless. The whole hairy chest thing kinda makes me grimace. Abel has Native American in him and he swears that is why he is so hairless. Even on his legs he has scarce hair. I love me some bald chest action, haha!

2. How often do you run red lights?
Never. I see a yellow and I stop. On a serious note, I have seen cars demolished all because one impatient ass&^%$ seriously couldn't handle waiting about 2.15 minutes. So the red light hit and he zoomed on through and next thing you know, 3 children are taken into intensive care and only one of them survived. It was that bad of a hit. So. I tend to, you know, follow the law and all. Call me crazy.

3. If you could raid any celebrity's closet...whose would you raid?
That would be Jessica Simpson's. A-She's curvy like me so I know her stuff would fit and let's face it, if I'ma raid a closet and walk out with stuff, the stuff better fit! B-She has a cute but simple taste and that's me. I don't do $900 shirts or a $493 pair of socks that have been bedazzled. No thanks.

4. Would you rather have more followers/friends on Facebook, Twitter, or your Blog?
Blog. I have about 400 people on Facebook, all of them I know too. And I think I only talk to or have anything to do with about 100 of them. Facebook is a numbers thing. I want my blog to have more followers sure but the people who are on it are actually communicating with me and I actually have a relationship going down with. Sometimes I get the occasional butthead but you know, trolls are everywhere and you almost have to feel un-loved if you don't get one :)

5. What makes you feel sexy?
When my hair is damp from teh shower and down, I'm wearing contacts and sunglasses and I am not having a bloated or "I am fat" day. When Abel puts his arm around my waist and tells me that I'm his. Or late at night...Haha! I'll save details...But you get the clue...

6. I get excited when...........?
I get mail. Seriously LOoOoOoOve getting mail. I know my mail lady and my mail men closely and personally, haha. I'm like a golden retreiver when his master gets home. I am THAT bad.

7. Are you the "outdoorsy" type or more "indoorsy"?
I'm more indoorsy. I hate to say it because I grew up in Montana. Our idea of fun was playing in the woods for hours at a time. We never sat in teh house watching tv or playing video games. But after I moved to California with my mom in grade school, that's where I went corrupt.

8. Would you rather have your dream home or a million dollars?
Million bucks easily. I could build my dream home and still have money left :)

You Can Be Everything God Wants You To Be

2010-04-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

It's only Sunday and you're already dreading Monday. You spend 50+ hours at a job you hate andcome home too exhausted to pursue anything other than reality TV. You are not alone: 87 percent of workers don't find meaning at work and 80 percent believe their talents are unused. The resulting attitude impacts health, relationships, and a fundamental sense of happiness, but best-selling author Max Lucado has a cure. In his winsome, encouraging voice, Max gives practical toolsto explore your uniqueness, find motivation to put it to work, and get perspective to redefine your concept of work. It's never too late to uncover strengths, discover God's will, and cure the otherwise hopeless prognosis of a common life. You were created for a purpose, but not just any purpose–A special, divine purpose. Understanding that purpose and knowing how to go after it is the message of this book.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T12:08:00.001-07:00

I hope everyone is having a fabulous day today! And remembering the TRUE purpose of this holiday. To remember the one who died for us. Sacrificed Himself for our sins and washed us clean. Are you remembering???

First stop today, check out Mass Hole Mommyshe has a fabulous giveaway going on for teething bling! Perfect if you have a teething baby like I do! I want one of these for Ignacio. No teeth yet and STILL teething and gnawing on everything like a mini beaver!

We are having a great time so far. Yesterday was the big Easter egg hunt that I put on for our town. A friend of mine and my husband and I stuffed a thousand plastic eggs with all kinds of treats and candies, got together 50 prizes plus 2 grand prizes for whoever found the two special eggs out there, and then spent an hour hiding them all. It went wonderful to be honest. I survived the stress of changing the location at last moment due to some unfortunate flooding of our original area. I also survived a public chewing out, and my butt shall heal thankfully. I won't go into details because I don't want to relive it again but I was in the clear, it wasn't anything that I could have done better or differently therefore I feel no guilt. What counts is that about a 100 kids had a fabulous time. And I have decided that while there will be people who will never be completely satisfied with how it goes, I still will push on and put on one every year. No one else will and knowing that these kids loved it this much, I want them to have something every year. So it went wonderfully.

My children woke up this morning and we brought down their Easter baskets for them. We don't do the bunny, only in jest. We did the story of Jesus dying and being resurrected and then we let them open up the gifts. Hannah got a Precious Moments basket that came with a dolly and some goodies plus a notebook and markers. Ignacio's held a stuffed frog and a few pieces of goodies that mommy was only too happy to eat for him, LoL. They also got both Toy Story movies as well. So it was a good Easter for them. We are now currently cleaning the house and doing laundry while I am continuously cooking and baking as we have some friends of ours coming over with their kiddos for dinner. I love cooking for others! Hannah got to pick out a few Easter goodies to give to them so she is excited for that as well. I'm teaching Hannah how to be giving and un-selfish. I think it is starting to take effect. I hope....

We are moving soon. Just houses, not towns or anything big like that. They have suspected our house to have black mold and it being the cause of dad going into the hospital so frequently. So Abel went down to our dirt basement to look around and he found mold growing everywhere. It's easy to fix, you just spray it with a special chemical or something and then pour cement. But we don't have time to do all this nor the money to put into a house that won't ever get sell for the amount we've invetsed so we have decided to buy a house and sell this one. So hopefully within the next month, we will be in a bigger and better house. Hopefully, keep your fingers crossed and prayers a'coming!

Well, my timer just beeped so it is time to baste my ham and get some more food going. I hope you all have a blessed holiday. Enjoy teh family and friends you are spending it with and remember to say an extra thanks at the table. For the one who died for us all! From the Guerra household-Happy Easter!!

Getting To Know You Sunday

2010-03-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

Yay! Another Sunday, another Getting To Know You courtesy of Mannland This week Mannland has a guest MAN blogger asking the questions, so you know they will be interesting, haha. You know what to do, read, comment, visit, link up, do. You know, same old, same old....Have fun!!!

The questions

1 - Why did you start blogging?
Honestly? I started 5 years ago, before I got married. I had found a bunch of my old friends from another state and it was fun catching up but life made it too hectic to sit down and write e-mails so we did blogs every week dedicated to each other and anyone else who cared. Good old myspace, it was the beginning of an obsession, haha.

2 - Who's the one blog friend that you would want to meet most in "real life"?
I can't. I would love to meet all of my blog friends. I know typical answer, but it's honest. My Sassy friend because we've been friends for a long while now and she hasn't left me yet. I'm not to weird for her, we share the same interests and simply put I have fallen in love with our friendship. I vent and she stays and listens and helps me feel better. Not many people can or will do that.
Gucci Mama herself because she's been the start of it all really. I met Sassy through her. She shared so much of her life with all of us and I felt so privileged. Shes like a celebrity to me. And when I get a comment or an e-mail or sometimes, one of her amazing gifts, it's like that teenage high school squeal comes out and I'm jumping up and down going "I can't believe it OMG!!!" LoL. She's sincere and amazing and her e-mails have meant so much to me. It's great knowing there is someone else out there who has gone through the same things that I have and can walk with me through many things and never leave. Like Sassy, she lets me be me and doesn't run away. Nor does she hate me when I attempt to "fight" for her or be somewhat "wise" haha.
And of course Justine. She is crazy fun, always has a sense of humor and if you needed someone to have your back, this woman would fight to the death. She has so much passion and just a bright amazing attitude it draws me near her. She was my first bloggy person I ever, ever followed and I love her to pieces. Plus, it's always a bonus when someone else has a Farmville addiction too, LoL.

3 - Why are you always concerned with losing that "extra 10 pounds" when chances are your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you that you look just fine the way you are?
Okay so this is tricky. I don't want my husband to sound like a pig. But we have both discussed how I would like to look and how much weight I would like to lose and he keeps me balanced. He doesn't want me to kill myself to be 20 pounds lighter than what I should be. But he also agrees that right now, I'm not at the weight I was at when we met. In fact, I let myself go because of having kids and not caring. So we both created a feasible weight loss goal and that's what I'm orking towards. I always swore once I hit it, I would be satisfied but I can feel the greed hitting and thinking "wow, I am going to hit my goal, what about just ten pounds more?" I think it's just the happiness that I can do it and the greed of just a little bit more that does it. Honestly, my weight doesn't bug me, I wear it well. It's the pants size that I'm working towards. I'm tired of double digits. I want an 8 darn it!!!

4 - What's the one thing you wish guys could understand about you?
About me personally? Hmmm...That I am not a flirt!!!! I playfully flirt yes but it doesn't mean anything and I'm tired of everyone thinking that. I didn't have many girl friends growing up because they were too much drama. Still don't and yes, they still are. So I hang with the guys. No I don't want any other guy other than mine. And no I don't flirt with your man to flirt. Women think it's flirting but it's just being playful. I don't know how to defend myself without coming across as a whore. Next!

5 - Tattoos. How many do you have and how many are visible when you wear your "everyday" clothes?
I have one. For now. And it doesn't show unless I pull down my pants, LoL. Which doesn't ever happen. Yes. I own a tramp stamp. But in my defense, I got it before it was named that. And I had it before it was cool to get them there. Therefore, I do not own a tramp stamp but a tattoo on my lower back thankyouverymuch! It's cute and I helped design a part of it. Kind of...But I want more. They are addicting but I do not like sleeves or full body tattoos.

6 - What was the best year of your life and why?
Hard one. I have had a few "best years". Probably 2005. I got married and found out I was pregnant all in that year. It started out fabulously and ened fabulously too.

7 - Name three things you would do if you were a man for one day.
Pee on someone. LoL. I don't care what else but I have always said men are lucky to have the equipment they do. But you never hear of people getting peed on, lol. I told Abel that and he peed on me!! Granted I was in the shower but still. Gross right? Yah he thought he was funny and giggled foor an hour over it.

8 - What's your alcoholic drink of choice that usually raises a few eyebrows?
LoL. I go to the bar to have a Smirnoff, fruity flavored, cheerleader beer and then go to Coke with grenadine in it. Sad huh? I'm such a lightweight and puke so easily that I just don't like drinking. Most drinks taste ugly anyways. I'm pathetic. I know *sigh*

Aww Sweet Smell Of Betrayal

2010-03-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

I am going to knowingly commit it. I feel torn though. In my mind, I feel liek I am a hostage who is tired of going along willingly. On the other hand though, I don't want to risk it. Risk hurting others for nothing. It's an awful feeling and situation to be in and so tonight I will be praying and searching for an answer as to what to do. For now, I will just avoid the people it involves I suppose. How hard will it be to ignore my mother when she doesn't have much to do with me these days anyways right? I hate not knowing how things turn out and not knowing what to do.

On the bright side, I am finally geting to visit my doctor tomorrow! Yay! To finally start figuring out what is going on. It shouldn't hurt after I eat and I shouldn't be starving myself out of fear of the pain. I'm such a hypocondriac so right now I fear cancer in my stomache and death looming at my door. I can't even look at Ignacio or Hannah without tearing up right now. I love anxiety and the issues it comes with. Who said I had issues??? Dude, I have the whole darn subscription!

3 blogs in one day really is a bit much. Guess I'm making up for lost time.

I'd love for some greasy chicken from KFC and some yummy pizza that is sitting in my fridge...I'm hungry...

Goodnight!

DVD Review :)

2010-03-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

I got sent this super adorable DVD and sat Hannah and myself in front of this movie and oh my gosh super cute!

The Royal Tea Party finds Gigi with a dilemma. She has important news to share with her best friend, Frances, but how best to make such a grand announcement? This slice-of-life peek into the life of God’s little princess reinforces the vital message that each child is royally important to God.

In The Pink Ballerina, Gigi and Frances take their first dance lesson. With reluctant practice and awkward help from Tiara (her new dog) and Lord Fluffy (her not-so-cooperative cat), Gigi struggles to dance perfectly to make God proud of her. But she unexpectedly learns that God is most proud when we show love to others.

Hannah doesn't get into Veggietales like I wish she would. But this, she loves! And don't tell anyone, but so did I. It made me giggle and go awww. Definitely a thumbs up! High recomendations! :D

Just Another Monday Morning

2010-03-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

So everyone must know by now it is everything but. What a chaotic political hangover huh? Wow. But. I am not writing to discuss it. Or how I am pretty pissed off at our government. Their whole "screw the people, do what we want" mentality.

I have two goals here. One is to thank each and every one of you. Even my new followers and friends. I treasure you all honestly I do. I don't just say it to sound nice, I really do mean it. I love your comments and e-mails. They make me smile. And even though I suck (very much so!) at the whole answering back part, I am grateful for you and the time you take out to read my blog and to write me. And I promise, I will get better at replying back. On my honor! I do read other blogs too but I have a 3 year old ball of hyperness and a 7 month old attention whore and it doesn't leave me a lot of time to comment, reply or farm even. LoL

Which brings me to goal number two. Justine. She is my gorgeous, insanely funny, and awesomely witty, and all around perfect bloggy slash facebook friend slash fellow farmville addict. She has written me many times and I have slacked. Mega slacked shall I say. But she has asked a few questions about me that I suppose could be on other people's minds. I hear them often actually. So I thought today I would divulge a little further into Beckie and dish some more. Yay! *Claps hands*

I am Jewish. I am also a Christian. How on Earth is that possible?!? Well as some of you know (or don't know) To be Jewish, the major part of it is *drumroll* your mother must be Jewish. It's passed down through the mothers. (Go mom!) So my mother is Jewish. So am I. Our family is originally from Poland (No Pollock jokes please) We are also a little Russian. Yes I am part Polish and Russian. I wonder if they have a drink for that? (White Russian. Black Russian. Polish Russian? Haha? No? Okay then...) Anyways. So my great-great-grandfather escaped the Holocaust with my great-great-grandmother to immigrate to New York. When she was pregnant. There, my great-grandpa (the one who just passed away) was born. The first of my family to be born in America. (That makes me 4th generation American) From there, my Great-Grandpa grew up, met my great-grandmother (who was also a Jewish immigrant) and had my grandmother, and my great aunt and great uncle (is that what they are called? Whatever...) And of course my mother came from there and ta-da! Me next! Yay! (I have totally skipped a lot of boring family history, don't mind me...)

Growing up, weekends were my favorite times of the week. Not because school was non-existent on those days, but because we actually spent them with family. I was the favorite being the eldest daughter and got to spend all weekend, every weekend with my grandma. My Nana. And from her house we'd go to Temple and to my Bubbie and Papa's house (Great grandpa and grandma) (Bubbie is Yiddish for Grandma PS) So I did some time in Temple. Got promised a Bat Mitzvah (Bat for girls, Bar for boys) and got the lovely chats from my Papa about how I was going to grow up and marry a nice Jewish boy and have lots of Jewish babies (Remember My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Picture that with Jews instead...)

Well it wasn't very long until my Bubbie passed away. I was nine. Everything ended there. My family was ripped apart due to feuds with everyone. People were not so happy anymore and my wonderful weekends weren't so wonderful anymore as my visits with my Nana (grandma) were stopped. Wah-wah, spoiled little girl wasn't spoiled anymore, right? I know pathetic. Anyways...(LoL)

So when I moved up to Montana after high school, I lived with my cousin Adam and his wife and two kids and babysat for them and worked two jobs. I got saved then. I knew who Jesus was thanks to my great aunt on my dad's side, because when I lived with my dad during 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade, she took me to church with her. I think I was too young to really know and understand then. So when I was 20, I got saved. My life back then was pretty much at a stand still. I never wanted to meet a guy (Had my heart broken then) and all I wanted to do was work and save my money for whatever (No goals then either) and didn't really care about anything (probably depressed back then) and honestly, once I got saved, life finally started clicking.

Now that I have children I have begun learning more about my background. Learning more about the Jewish religion and customs and how I can be both. I choose to embrace both you see. I live for Jesus but I also try to incorporate as much of my Jewish background as I can. Messianic Jews are probably what you would call us if you really got down to it I suppose. I don't. We go to church and Sunday school and yet I observe some of the practices that the Jews do. Hannah has been named which was pretty neat. The Rabbi gave her her Hebrew name (Hannah Elisheva bat Rivka) which means Hannah Elisabeth, daughter of Rebecca. Ignacio will have his the next time we go down to California again. His will be Daniel Issak bar Rivka, which means Daniel Issak son of Rebecca (Daniel was my Papa's name both Hebrew and English so my son will be named after him). His English name obviously isn't translatable. And we have Hanukkah and other holidays. It's pretty neat and I'm very proud of my heritage. I just needed to embrace it more and learn how to combine both without sacrificing one or the other.

So. Justine, my friend, this was dedicated to you. Hopefully it helped explain something if not all of it. I tried, LoL!

And to the rest of you, I hope today isn't too politically chaotic. I'm finding humor in it in any way possible because humor is what saves us! Well, saves me at least. Lots of love and Happy monday to you all!

Getting To Know You

2010-03-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

It's that special time of the week again :) I think it's my favorite so far, just because of these questions. I need a hobby, LoL. So you know what to do, read my answers and let me know if you like or dis-like and then head over to MannLand5 and link up with her and do your own :)

1. What year did you graduate high school?
I graduated in 2004. Almost ten years ago which scares me. I don't feel 25. I haven't put an age to my yet if that makes any sense. So when I sit here and think, gosh, 6 years since I graduated, I'm ooold! It's sad...I'm not old. Old is like 75-ish. But I remember seeing people my age, when I was in high school, and thinking, oh em gee, they are o-l-d! LoL. I just found pictures of myself when I graduated high school and I'll have to scan them in, they are amazing. I'm so vain when I look at one of them. It was when I was at my thinnest ever, and I wore make-up, took care of the bush above my eyes, and had a hot color in my hair. I don't look like myself, because at first I was trying to figure out who that was. It is the only picture of myself that I love. I want it framed....

2. What part of your body do you neglect the most?
My eyebrows. Or my legs. Both. I don't shave often, especially when it is the winter. My hair grows thin and blonde which is great. But I also have a "If I don't see them, they don't exist" attitude with my legs. When I was pregnant with Hannah, I popped all sorts of nasty veins out on my legs. You can see all my veins and some even seriously pop out, it's gross. I don't wear shorts or bathing suits or anything that shows my legs. They look albino which doesn't help the situation. So I neglect them badly. And my eyebrows. They have a mind of their own and I don't like how I look with or without them so I don't get them waxed very often. I try to trim them and keep them somewhat tamed down buuuut....My days get busy and I get lazy. Simple as that.

3. Beach house or Lake house?
Lake house. When I picture a beach house, I picture a house super close to the water which scares me in case of a hurricane or tsunami. And I picture thousands of people on the beach along with their trash and loud mouths 24/7. When I picture a lake house, I see a beautiful blue lake surrounded by trees everywhere and quiet. Like in Montana. A lake where no one knows it exists so I don't have to deal with anyone nor do I have to deal with a natural disaster. And I see wildlife everywhere. Ugh...I miss Montana sometimes....

4. Mac or PC?
I don't even get that commercial or question. What is the difference?? I guess PC as that is what I use? LoL. I'm so not a tech geek...

5. Did you wear braces?
Ugh for 7 very long and very painful years I did. I put them on in the 7th grade and those bad boys didn't come off until I was a junior in high school. After I had my jaw broken, pulled forward, reset with screws and then wired shut for 8 loooong weeks. I can talk without moving my mouth, haha. Beat that ventriloquist boy! I did enjoy the color choices though and was one of those kids who color coordinated them with the holidays or school games, LoL. PS white and yellow are gross after about a week.

6. If you could be one person for a day..living or deceased...who would you be?
I would probably choose to be...I don't know actually. A day doesn't seem long enough to make an actual impact. I was thinking like President Truman, to end the WW2 faster. But that would take more than a day to accomplish. I'd love to give in to my evil self and pick someone I have major issues with and screw their lives over BIG time but that isn't right in any sense and dropping to an idiots level just makes you the bigger idiot so scratch that one....Probably Abel. I would love to see what goes through his mind, how men think and what a day in his life would entail just so I can sympathize better and understand a little better too.

7. How many times have you moved in your life?
Honestly, too many times to count. I know I have lived in 5 states and multiple cities in each state. That's about as far as I can get I think. From what I know I can say at least, 19 times. In 25 years. A lot.
*Albuquerque, NM*North Palm Springs, CA*Palm Desert, CA*Desert Hot Springs (3 houses)*Yucca Valley, CA*Joshua Tree, CA*Twenty-Nine Palms, CA*Cathedral City, CA*La Quinta, CA*Las Vegas, NV*Troy, MT (2 houses)*Libby, MT (3 houses)* Harvey, ND (2 houses)*

8. Would you rather cook or clean?
It's a toss up. I love cooking. I hate planning the meals. If someone has the meals for me in the morning, we're golden and I look forward to it. I really do enjoy cleaning too, I just need motivation some days. Soooo....Probably cleaning.

Getting To Know You

2010-03-14T07:39:00.001-07:00

Ahh Sunday. Time for church, time for family time, time for Mannland's Getting to know you questions...

1. What's your favorite Easter candy?
Easy one, definitely the Cadbury eggs. Caramel or the regular ones, it doesn't matter. I live for Easter so I can stock up on those. Sadly they've gone up in price so badly that I don't really stock up anymore. I get like 3 eggs every year and wait until everyone is asleep and then I take 20 minutes to eat an egg. LoL. They are treasure for me. Abel ate one of my eggs one year and we didn't speak for two days. It was THAT bad, LoL.

2. Who do you think is cleaner...men or women?
I think single men are the nastiest creatures on Earth. They have been used to their mother caring for them and once they are on their own, no one is around to do it for them nor is there anyone to harp at them to clean up after themselves. I have found that single men wait until they know someone is coming over before they clean. Married men know they have someone cleaning up after them or at least harping at them to clean up after themselves.

3. Which do you prefer..wordy blog posts or ones with pictures?
I'm a die hard for pictures. Not a stalker or anything but it's so fascinating to be let in to other people's lives. It's almost like being there in a way and that always makes me feel closer to that person. Then again, I do enjoy a good wordy blog too. I love reading and I love learning more about my bloggy friends. As long as it isn't long, wordy and dull like mine can be, haha.

4. Were you popular in highschool?
Popular meaning I knew everyone and everyone knew me? LoL yeah I'd say so considering in my first high school there was only 250 people in it. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. LoL. Seriously, yeah I would consider myself pretty popular. I was in every group and was a cheerleader. Plus obviously, I was the friendliest person and got along with everyone (wow did that sounds conceited or what??). Along with hanging out with everyone at my school, I also got to meet new friends at different towns and cities and that always boosted the friend count. I was that person in school who was goofy and super friendly and never seemed sad or upset. I used myself as the joke of everything. People loved me which was great. My last high school on the other hand, had like 6 thousand people in it and I moved there in the last 6 months of my senior year. I hada small group of friends and that was it. Graduated early, in January to get out there faster and then went off to work and such. I still don't talk to people from there, so my answer for that one? No.

5. What's your bra size?
Wow. LoL. Enormous?? Just kidding. Actually I'm pretty average I guess. Let's just say it's in the C range. No doubles or triples or anything. Biggest in the family though, oh yea *fist pump*

6. How many states have you lived in?
Oi vay...5 States, thousands of cities. Dad was in the Marine Corps and even after he retired we still had to live near a base so we'd be close to the doctors and stores and such. My mother never heard of planting roots and staying in one place longer than 4 years. So my goal is to break that. I lived in Montana for 4 years, that's the longest I've ever been anywhere so I told Abel, once we moved here to ND, we were here for good. I'm tired of moving around so often. I want my kids to grow up in one town. If we move houses, that's fine, as long as we don't leave town.

7. What's one blog you read every day?
Gucci Mama & Sassy Pants I know, yous aid one but how can I choose one when I'm a daily stalker of two?? It doesn't seem right does it??

8. Peanut butter or Nutella?
Uhh peanut butter? Nutella grosses me out just for looks and if you ever met me, I'd scare you with my food issues. I scare my own family.

And that is it for this week! Thanks for reading and head over there to link up and do your own! Happy Sunday!!

Weight Upon The Heart

2010-03-08T18:54:00.000-08:00

I did it. Finally. I was encouraged by fellow blogger MckMama to sponsor a child through Compassion International. And I am so glad i did. I prayed about it for a few days. There are just so many children out there who need a sponsor and I didn't want to be rash about it. God led me to Ana. She is from Mexico and is 11 years old. Her birthday is the same as my husband's-two weeks away :) Right in time for her birthday, God has led her sponsor to her :)

I know I don't proclaim it enough, but I am a very proud Christian. I'm not a hypocrite and I don't claim to be perfect-Only Jesus is perfect. I am very much a sinner and sin every day. Every minute really. But Jesus died upon that cross and allowed me to be good enough for Him. Sin and all.

I have also decided that one day, not now, not next month or anything like that, but one day, I will be doing mission work. Out of all my goals and dreams in life, that is the one still alive. I want to travel somewhere and I want to do. Whatever it is, I want to do for others. I want to build homes, schools or teach others about Christ. I want to be humbled and I want my pride to be squashed. And I want to do hard work for others and help them in any and all ways that I can.

I get excited for mail. I'm very excitable like that. But I have never looked forward to receiving a letter so much, like I am right now, waiting for Ana's. I'm praying and thinking of her constantly and hoping that within the month, her letter comes. It's an awesome feeling knowing that you are helping someone with so little. I want to talk to Abel and choose another child to sponsor as well. I look at all the petty things we buy within the month and I am ashamed. Abel's job has been a blessing beyond comprehension. But it has also been a curse. So I'm trying now to save what I can, to buy nothing wasteful and pay off our bills and debts. And now to give back to others who need it.

It's such a sad thought that people can live off of $38 a month isn't it? Women in Kenya pay $6 a month for rent in a shanty. The photos on MckMama's blog will bring tears to your eyes. But amongst the poor is such beauty and such happiness. They are rich you see. Not rich in money but rich in heart. It's amazing and I can't put into words what I'm thinking and feeling. I can't tell you as beautifully as MckMama does. You really need to visit her blog and go backwards and check out her past blogs. She and her husband were chosen to go to Kenya. And that is where they are now. Her blog is one of my favorites. Because of the trials that her and her husband have gone through, yet as they go through each one, they keep their head high praising God. I wish I could be there. I wish I could do as God says and praise Him, even through the bad times.

I don't mean to preach here, this is all on my heart and I needed to get it off. I applied for the Fall 2010 bloggers trip to central America through Compassion. I think it would be an awesome experience, not just for myself or the people down there, but for my readers as well :) So pray that I might have a chance at this trip, and if not this one, one in the future. And take a look at MckMama's blog. Maybe even be daring enough to check out www.compassion.com, $38 a month really isn't that much when you think of all it can do someone who lives with nothing.

Post Number 100!

2010-03-05T07:16:00.000-08:00

Woot-woot! It's my one hundreth post! I wish I had something to give out to all my followers and loyal commenters, sadly, I'm not cool like that. How do they say...I don't roll like that I guess...LoL.

My great grandpa died yesterday. If you are on my Facebook then you probably saw the long list of comments. It made me upset though which is probably very stupid. I posted about my poppa dying. He was my poppa. My Zayde actually but goys don't get the Hebrew words, so as to not confuse, I said papa. ANYWAYS. So along the way, the comments somehow got twisted to it being my father who died. Then began the LONG line of phone calls and text messages wanting to know when the funeral was and how I was doing and if they came down where would they be able to stay. One of my besties called and alerted me to what was going on and posted how it wasn't my dad who died but my great grandpa and yet, that somehow got missed because the comments and phone calls continued until this morning. I'm very thankful that had it been my father, so many people cared about me. But as I'm nearing my emotional break down point, it only upset me to have to go to each person and "fix it". I didn't put the status on my Facebook in any mixed up twisted way like I normally do, it was very easy to understand....I don't get it. I guess the game telephone works in person and on Facebook....

The whole issue of him passing didn't get messy until yesterday as well when my mother told me not to bother coming down. I loved my poppa. We had a very special reletionship and due to being just a child, I had family members insert their childish ways and drama and I wasn't allowed to see him for many years and had lost contact with him. He was the one to tell my family how he was going to raise a Jewish grandchild and not allow my mother to make me out to not know my heritage. I'm so thankful for that. And had my mother not have been so ignorant in her ways of dealing with BS and drama, I would have completed my learning and had my Bat Mitzvah. I don't blame my mother alone, but many of my "family". So many of them were involved in this big family ordeal. I grew up without knowing any of them except my grandmother. Now that I'm 25, everyone is cool again minus my grandmother and an uncle. My great uncle passed away a few months ago and because of that, everyone got together and said the I sorry's and everything is fine. For them. I feel left out because I don't know them and I'm not so quick to say oh let's be friends. It's more of a, where the heck were you when I was a kid and needed a family around her!?! It frustrates me more than anything. So when my mother told me not to come, I said fine, I don't need to be around those people anyways. When asked further I admit, I was pretty hot headed and said I have no use for people who don't appreciate and value family. I no longer consider myself to have family. I will teach my children that my husband and I are their family and that no matter what, you stand by your family. They will know family values, they will always be there for each other and help each other out no matter what. You know, be a family.

I have been stuffing my emotions for about half a year now and I think it is coming up on me because I am just so cranky and upset about it. It isn't just this but also Abel's family and their issues as well. Stupid family drama....

On to better news. I got a Cricut a few weeks ago and so far I have made a few decorations for the kids' scrapbooks and also a card! Which turned out fabulous! I have definitely found my new love. I ordered a photo box to sort and place my pictures instead of leaving them in the paper envelope they come in. It took me two hours last night but I have them sorted now and after I order about a thousand more pictures, I will be ready to sit down and begin doing my scrapbooking, LoL. I take tons of pictures but I never had the money to get them developed. Now playing catch up will bankrupt me Abel says, haha! But I'm glad this Cricut is so handy. I don't have to buy cards anymore but will make them and with that people will know the care and effort I put into their cards :) And they will say and look just like I want them to. Lo-o-o-ove it! Do I recommend a Cricut to everyone? Of course! USeful for anything!! My next step is to get the magnet background so I can make my own picture magnets and send them to people for Christmas! If they turn out like I hope, my gifts this year will scream love, be inexpensive, and be completely handmade. Love that too! I know...I know...March and I'm already thinking Christmas. Sick huh? Naah just trying to be well prepared. I vow to make this the first year I'm not running around at the last moment like a chicken with it's head cut off. Christmas has become more of a stress for me so if I complete the gifts ahead of time, like say, by November. I can sit and enjoy it this year. That's the plan...Let's see how well that goes.

I got the kid's Easter pictures done too! I got to shop at Children's Place thanks to Sassy Pants' recommendations of that place. I ordered two outfits a piece for the kids. One was a spring outfit and the other was a matching Easter outfit. And then we went to Sears and did our photos. And boy did they turn out! I am soo impressed! And so excited!

Along with pictures for Easter thsi year, I have taken the ball into my court and decided to put on the town's Easter Egg Hunt. They haven't had one in years and that makes me sad. So I teamed up with a friend from the city council and we are putting it on. He's doing the background work such as rdering eggs and getting the okay for the buildings used and stuff like that while I get the dirty work, stuffing eggs, painting eggs, hiding eggs. The fun stuff! LoL. I hope it goes as planned but I'm not a leader. Ever. I'm a tell-me-what-to-do-and-I'll-do-it kind of person. This is my first take charge and do it event and I'm excited! I just hope it goes as planned, LoL. And this year, the kids will have a Easter Egg hunto to do which makes it completely worth it. What is Easter without the egg hunt, right?

Well, folks, that's about it for me. I'm off to go mail a book of mine from that book swap thing (Has anyoen signed up under me yet???) and then my daily chores and talk to my daycare lady, I'm ordering in some scrapbook supplies that she sells, LoL. I'm an addict, I will admit. It has been great venting useless vent but now I'm all feeling better and will be making my usual sunshiney blogs again :) I hope everyone is doing well!! And I shall blog again later!

PS---> Has anyone seen Dear John yet? I bought the book, was told to wait until after I saw the movie, so now I'm going to the movie on Sunday night...I hope it's good...

Truthful Tuesdays

2010-03-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

alt="Confessions from a Working Mom" />

Click that button and go link up and share your stories for Truthful Tuesdays!

How Did You Tell DH (or your family!) You Were Pregnant?

My mom called me a few days before Christmas, 2005, and asked me if I was pregnant. Her best friend has visions and had called my mom up that morning and told her I was pregnant. True, I had been battling what seemed like the flu for a few days. But I didn't give it a second thought of being pregnant. She, of course, knowing about these things, asked me when my period was and I couldn't remember. So her statement to that? "If you can't remember then it's been too long, go get a pregnancy test and don't call me until you do. Click." So I went out and got two tests and sat down for about 15 minutes trying to figure out how to pee onto that tiny stick without peeing everywhere like a potty training two year old little boy. We may not have the equipment ladies, but if we try, we can get more distance than the guys. Just so you know. ;) It came out positive. Both times. So I called her, we cried and laughed and then I remembered Abel. So I hung up and called him at work. Then I heard him yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs "I'm going to be a daddy!" It was quite entertaining.

With Ignacio it was a bit different. After Hannah, we lost two babies. Before Hannah, I had lost one. 3 losses can turn what should be a joyous occasion, into a terrifying one. Every time you see those two lines, your heart drops and you start thinking, oh no...By the time I was pregnant with Ignacio, I just knew. I was late by one day and I knew. I took the test and saw those lines and dropped onto the toilet seat and started crying. I called my best friend and talked with her and then my mom and told her. Getting the news that I was pregnant had everyone almost grieving. Very little hope. When Abel came home, it was right about Christmas time so I wrapped it up and gave it to him. He opened it and got a smile on his face and just looked at me. And I told him, this time, it will be different and smiled. The day before we moved from Montana to come here, North Dakota, it was December 31st and I had the best thing ever. morning sickness crossed with the stomach flu. It was lovely but it made me smile. I had morning sicked. That's always a good sign of hormones.

Now I have two monster children who are growing up too fast for my liking and are the most beautiful miracles in my life. Had I not had issues with carrying babies and scary health issues, I'm sure my "I'm Pregnant!" stories would be more creative and memorable. But just the same, I think they are great :)

I'm Sorry.

2010-03-01T18:55:00.001-08:00

I'm sorry that I manage my money and pay my bills like a responsible person.

I'm sorry that my husband got blessed with a great job and now we can afford for me to stay home and take care of my children instead of having someone else do that for me.

I'm sorry that I choose to stay home and not only take care of my children, my house, our dog (dumb as she is) and the various errands and to-do's on my daily list, but also to take care of my father who on most days needs round the clock care and constant doctor appointments that are 2 hours away.

I'm sorry that I'm apparently "not good enough" to have my child in the government funded program called Head Start. Good to know that because my husband makes too much money, that I'm not working (well working under your definition of working that is) and that my child is not handicapped in any way, I can't enroll her into the ONLY form of school that there is in this town. But if my husband were to quit his job and trade it in for a minimum paying job, we were to join up on everything Welfare, and I was to dump my son off on someone else and expect them to raise him and pay out the butt to do so while making nothing and probably end up putting my father in a nursing home, I would be able to put my daughter into your program??? Good to know....

I'm sorry that I think my government sucks. And I'm sorry that I think small town living, officially has a suck point. And I'm sorry I'm so frustrated that my daughter will not be recieving education that she SHOULD BE entitled to just as much as anyone else, no matter the fact that my husband has a job and can provide for his family and that I choose to stay home to take care of my family.

Ugh. Horrible me. I'm sorry.

Getting To Know You

2010-02-28T13:03:00.001-08:00

So I have found yet another thing I'd like to do. Keely has a weekly game called Getting To Know You. She asks a few questions, you answer on your blog and link up to hers and wham! Good stuff! :) Here's my go at it...

~~~Questions~~~
1. Would you rather bungee jump or sky dive?
You know, neither one actually tickles my feather. The sky diving seems like fun but I know that I would get up there and chicken out. That or die of a heart attack on the way down. If I had some bravery, I might choose sky diving. Less chance of whiplash that way I suppose...

2. When using a public restroom to you squat over the seat or sit?
I giggled a little bit when I read this. I really am naive enough to have thought I was the only person to actually hover over a toliet seat when it isn't the one in my home. I hover over it. Granted the door handle of said restroom has more germs on it than the toliet seat but still. I try not to use any restroom other than the one in my house but when we go out of town (2 hours from home) sometimes, it isn't possible to last an entire day without urinating.

3. Favorite flower?
Easy one. Carnations. Pink or yellow carnations are my absolute favorites. They smell great, look better than any flower and aren't too played out.

4. Pedicure or manicure?
I have never had a manicure but just got a pedicure last week and from that information alone, I simply must choose pedicure. My feet look better, feel better and don't snag on my sheets when I am in bed. Plus how great is it that you can get an hour long massage and scrub on your feet and not be expected to return it? In my house, teh only way I get a foot rub is if I rub my husband's feet at the same time or directly before or after.

5. How many siblings do you have?
Technically I have 2 half sisters. I only claim one of them. She is a twit and stopped talking to me when I was in the 5th grade. She has no contact with me or my father (she's his daughter from his first wife) and I have very deep angry and hurt issues with that. My mother tells me I'm selfish. I don't care what it sounds like. When I was younger, my dad and I hardly got along. So I had to put up with years of crap, had to deal with years of dealing with a drunk and driving him home from the bars and dragging him to his bed after he passed out (all while I was maybe 8). Now we get along wonderfully, he doesn't drink anymore and I get to take care of him, and she's still not around. I heard rumor of her wanting to get back in touch and while I'm a firm believer in second chances, she wrote me off for no reason so i write her off. If she had beef with my father fine, but why write me off? Family doesn't just ditch you and come back 20-something years later expecting everything to be great and forgiven. So as far as I'm concerned, I have nothing there. My other Sister, Stephanie is 21, has two kids and a recovering meth addict. She's cleaning up her life and dealing with my gorgeous neieces who I am in absolute love with. I'm proud of her but still very nervous because she's tried to be clean and sober a few times and fell back on the meth wagon so everyday she remains clean is a great time for me. I love her to pieces, we just don't have a very close reletionship sadly...My messed up family history for ya...

6. Do you pee in the shower? (gasp!)
I used to. I'm not ashamed. Something about hopping in teh shower and that warm water...But alas, then I had children and had to teach them clean hygiene and decided that maybe peeing in the shower could be defined as gross so we pee before showering and then hop in. It took effect because Hannah gets out to pee which is a great things as sometimes, I still shower with her and stepping in someone else's urine is not my favorite thing ever.

7. Bikini, tankini, or one piece?
Ugh. One piece with a pair of Abel's knee length shorts and then a baggy t-shirt over it. Actually two years ago was the last time I wore a bathing suit and it was teh shorts with a bikini top and I have to say, I didn't look too bad. This year though, I will go without teh shorts and shirt. One piece still, I'm not THAT brave. Buts till...That's my goal :)

8. Where do you hate to shop at, but go there anyway?
I honestly hate shopping at Menard's or Home Depot or Lowe's. Too much crap that I'm not interested in. It isn't even fun to browse! Stick me in a Walmart and I'd be good all day long! But sometimes we have to buy house stuff or appliances so we have to go shopping at those stores...Dirty man stores...

Well there you go. A little bit more about me! Hope I didn't scare you off! Now go see Keely and do it too! Lots of love!

Handy Manny Ain't Got Nothin' On Me!

2010-02-24T17:54:00.000-08:00

You know. With Abel being a railroad conductor and always gone, I knew I was going to have to learn to be independant. But I didn't totally understand it until now. I'm so proud of myself and have reached that point today. I'm a single mother 3/4 of the time raising my two children and taking care of my father and his medical issues. Along with the daily duties of cooking and cleaning and taking care of the house and peole in it, I'm constantly running errands and grocery shopping and bill paying. Now if that weren't enough, things got really hectic with tax money coming in. Not in a bad way. But I ordered a lot of big things for Ignacio, such as a carseat, his high chair, his crib, a dresser, and other stuff. Plus we are STILL doing his room, so everything is sitting in the hallway or down here in the living room. It's worse than moving, at least when you move, things move. LoL. They are at a stand still here. Tomorrow, the painting will be done so I'm not worried about it, I can start moving things in his room. Finally. That's one part of my pride comes in. Except for the tearing down of wallpaper and putting up of sheet rocka nd mud and tape, I did my son's room. I painted. LoL. And today, I put together his crib. Woot-woot! I had both my husband and father tell me how I wasn't able to put it together and to just wait until this weekend when Abel would be home to do it for me. Well, it took me an hour and twice I had to take things apart, but by gum, I did it! Booyah! LoL. My bicycle came in today and that got put together by me as well. So I'm pretty handy right now. :D When everything else come sin, I won't even get nervous. I'm excited because I know, I can do it. What's that saying?? Tell me I can't and I will show you I can. yes. I will.

On another note. My Fed-Ex man? Pretty darn cute :) Hehehehe.....

Hope you all are having a fabulous day!

Free Books & Test Results

2010-02-17T17:20:00.000-08:00

So. I'm an avid reader. More addicted to a good book than I am to Farmville. That alone should tell you how addicted I am, LoL. And I love free books. So the library is my best friend. Or rather was. Before I moved to North Dakota. Because here in my town, we have a library that is well lacking in the good books department. Except I can't bad mouth them because for one, the librarian has known me since high school and we adore each other to pieces and number two, their children's section has, not joking, A BILLION books. And they put on a few programs for the kids during the year. So I don't complain. But buying books can get spendy. Especially when the husband was laid off.
I met a friend about a year ago While I was pregnant who is just as much of a fan of reading as I am. Except she spends hundreds of dollars on books a month and has an entire room filled with them. My collection got lost during our move :( So she has saved my mind and has been lending me books by the box. I love it. But I let her send me books that I have not read. Now I'm looking for the books that I like so I can re-build my book collection.
So guess what I found! www.PaperBackSwap.com! It's super simple and super free-ish. I'll explain. So you go on and sign up. Then you take any books you have laying around and list them. When you list 10 books, the site gives you two credits. It takes a credit to order a book. And 2 to order a book on cd or tape. So then after you enter in your books, you go browsing or searching for books you want or enjoy. You order them and then sit back and wait for them to come in. Totally easy and awesome. And that part is free.
So say you are just like me and have used up your two credits. Then what? Well, then you drum up people to join under you, (which ta-da! I'm doing) and/or you enter more books than 10 so you have a better chance of people picking. Once someone orders a book from you, you send it off (the free-ish part comes in here haha) and when they get it, they post that they got it and that gives you more credits. Easy as pie I swear! And luckily, this is where you get rid of the books you don't read, like or don't have room for. I'm using my kid's books muahahaha. My mother bought books for my kids and they aren't that age yet or we don't care for kind of thing. Plus my father has some older books and I did have a few laying around.
Anyways, at least check it out, and if you are interested in joining, please would you do me a favor and sign up under me as your referral so I may get a credit? And definitely pass along the word. I think it's awesome, you should too, lol. Here's my link to use if you choose to sign up:

http://www.paperbackswap.com/index.php?r_by=beccafreak@hotmail.com

If you use the link above to join, I'll get a free book when you post your first ten books (and you'll still get free books for posting them!)

So that's about it. I hope everyone is doing well. Abel has temporarily moved to Portal (in Canada) for at least a few weeks until they get someone else to get out there. I'll be fine with it and just keep reminding myself that it's the best pay out of all the railroad jobs.
And sadly, we did confirm yesterday that my dad has two cancerous tumors in his lungs so lung cancer it is! They have doubled in size in three months so we don't know what's going to happen now or how long he has. I thought I would have freaked out by now. I haven't. I'm trying to stay calm and remind myself that I can handle this. If I couldn't then God wouldn't have chosen me to go through this. So it's a guarantee I can do it. Dad has shown me that I am just like him though. He heard everything and after we walked out of the office his first words were I'm hungry where are we going to eat? Which of course we both busted up in laughter. Figures, he gets a death sentence and cares only for food. That's pretty much me too. Anything to keep your mind clear and not focused on the bad. It seems like a grim thing but dad has been suffering with COPD since I was in the 3rd grade. He was 46-ish. Now, this year he turns 70. He's said it himself. He's tired. Bi-weekly trips to the hospital with at least a 3 day stay. Can't cook or clean, can hardly get to the bathroom and on constant oxygen. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SMOKE! Just so you know.
Now we focus on spending all the time we can with each other and I don't let a day pass that I'm not snapping pictures of him and the kids together. I want them to remember their grandpa in someway. I never got to meet my grandparents before they died and I hate that. A kid needs their grandparents. The ones I wanted were dead and the ones I got stuck with didn't appreciate the fact that they were grandparents. Lousy luck.
Anyways, I didm't want this to be a downer. Go join that book site! Do it out of pity ;) And don't feel sad or worry about us, we're doing really well all things considered. You think I could guilt God with ending winter a little early because of this? LoL. I wish.
Lots of love everyone! I shall blog another day....

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

2010-02-15T09:19:00.000-08:00

Simply Stacie is having a fabulous giveaway right now. Chicken Soup For The Soul:All In The Family.
Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Amy Newmark and Susan M. Heim are the authors of another Chicken Soup book called, All in the Family. All 101 stories are about families that have stuck together through thick and thin, good times and bad times, funny times and not so funny times and some even brought back together from years and years of silence. This heartwarming edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul teaches us again how important family is and that blood will always be thicker than water.
If thsi sounds interesting, you should definitely enter to win! I did! Take a trip over to see her, she's got all sorts of fabulousness on her blog :) Tell her Beckie sent ya! ;)

Answer Time!

2010-02-14T08:12:00.000-08:00

Well readers, along with my cynical post about the V-Day that is today, I get to answer the questions that were posted to me. Only two sadly but I'm sure I will get more within time. Right?? :)

Justine asked how long Abel and I have been together and how did we meet. That is such a funny story. Because I get all kinds of mixed responses to it. You see, Abel and I have been together for almost 5 years now. It will be 5 years in May. That we've been together. We will have been married for 5 years in June. June 16th. So you see, we had dated 28 days before getting married. Yup. I will give you a minute to let that sink in. LoL. Let me start in the beginning I suppose....
Abel was a friend of my cousin's. I lived with my cousin, his wife and their two boys who I babysat when I wasn't working my two jobs. I love those boys...Anyways. So my cousin and Abel got to be good friends thanks largely to two things. God and cars. And the fact that my cousin had his own shop where they worked on cars all day long. So my first "chat" with Abel was insulting him without knowing it (How was I supposed to know he dropped out of school in the 8th grade?) and then him insulting me on my first time making macaroni salad (Not enough mustard). LoL. A little flirting here and there and then one night I was pissed off at my cousin and was in one of those "I'll show him" sort of moods and decided that after work at 9pm I wouldn't go home for a few hours. Really get him angry and all that. So I drove 30 minutes to the town over and hung out at Abel's house. The first time I had ever done something like that because A) I hardly knew him and B) I'm one of those kind of women where some things, women aren't supposed to do first and technically he was supposed to come visit me before I came to see him and yada yada yada. Half hour into my visit and a knock sounds at the door. It was the city police asking for me. First time visiting with police or ever getting in trouble with them, ugh! I had parked my car on the side of the street but it was too far in the street I guess (Hey! I didn't want to drive on Abel's lawn for crying out loud!) Abel says that nobody has ever brought the cops to his house so he knew it was love then, Haha. Jerkface. We started dating a few days after that. As we dated it was a pretty mature relationship for us both. And we prayed a lot together about whether us being together was what God wanted. We got some pretty neat signs into the relationship and one day out of the blue Abel asked me to marry him. So, 28 days after we started dating, Abel and I got married at the courthouse. 6 months after that, I got my big wedding ceremony that I threw a fit for :) And we have been together ever since. I love telling our love story but I don't look forward to the snide comments of "They'll never last" or "Wow what we're they thinking!?!" The first year was a struggle for us both. We never did anything more than kiss while dating so we got to experience the whole sex thing and issues, the whole moving in together and living with one another issues, and everything else that comes with relationships and marriage but all at once instead. It was not fun most of the time but we worked hard on everything and after that first year, it was downhill, LoL. Almost but you know. I knew that whether we had dated for 2 years or those 28 days, it wouldn't change a thing for either one of us. We're dedicated to each other, we are a lot alike while very different and we have the same goals in life as well. And we knew God wanted us together. We've also had quite a lot of struggles since being together so I'm not saying we've had the perfect life. We have but only because we come through every trial and tribulation, together and that much more stronger and closer. And I can guarantee you that anything that happens in a marriage, anyone can get through together if they are willing. No divorce necessary. :D

Sassy Pants asked what my fave color, song and candy was. Hmm...Well fave color is easy. Pink with purple behind in a close second. I used to hate that color growing up. But now it's so bright and fun and goes with anything that I have become quite addicted. Truthfully, I enjoy any color (as long as it isn't orange) colors are so awesome to look at. Song is tough because my favorite songs change so often. But as I was thinking about this, my husband's ringtone popped on and I think that honestly has to be my favorite. It's one of those songs that was written just for me all about me. LoL. I WAS the inspiration, you don't even know. Baby Got Back..*sigh*...LOL! Just kidding! Oh word no. Although..No I do have back but we aren't going there. Hate that song...Anyways, Rascal Flatts-God Blessed The Broken Road. I tear up every time hearing that song. And hence why it's the ring tone that ~~warns me~~ tells me when my husband is calling me. Annnnd fave candy...Too hard. Some days I enjoy chocolate (rarely actually) a lot of the time I enjoy sour candies. And a lot of days I enjoy gummies. The most I think. Right now I'm craving some gummi Lifesavers actually. That one is difficult...Oooh Nerds! LoL. I'm a big candy person, not so big on chocolates. I do not like candy hearts. Does that help? LoL.

So there you have it. Questions asked and answers revealed. I think I will dedicate my Sundays to answer sessions, if there are any questions to be had by then. So if you have 'em, ask 'em! Hope you enjoyed this as much as I had :) Thank you and until next time!

It's Valentine's Day ... Almost

2010-02-13T16:35:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day.
When it comes to this day. I am bitter. Seriously. And I can't give you just one reason. It would take too long. It isn't due to any heartbreaks or anything either. Well, maybe twice but not the point...It just seems like such an un-fair "holiday" to me. It's men's excuse for not showing any signs of romance all year long. They get off the hook because on this one day of the year, they buy a few flowers, grab a box of chocolates that I guarantee they don't know who made it or what's inside, and they buy dinner. Don't even bring me to the whole fact that on their mind this whole day is how teh act of "getting some" is in the bag.

I forgot that this day was created thanks to St. Valentine . I dig that this day was created in his honor. I even dig that he was the "cupid" of his time. But seriously, when did the day of honoring him get us to such a commercialized day with so much pressure upon both sexes?

Oh yes ladies, we have pressure on us just as much as the men, if not more. Do we remind our men that this day is coming up? Do we just stay silent and try to act surprised IF he remembers? Do we drop hints to where we want to go for dinner or risk him taking us to some tacky diner where you might get a clean spoon if you are lucky? Do we tear out pages of a magazine with pictures of rings on them so that he possibly will get a clue as to what we REALLY want? Do we dare get our hopes up of him getting off that couch, putting on something nice and actually doing something on this day? God forbid we run into our girl-friends the next day who are running exaggerated stories of their night like diarrhea of the mouth, and when it comes our turn to say what we did we blush as we might have nothing to tell? And to feel the shame as they walk away shaking their heads and writing us off from then on. Oh Lord, what then!?!? What will we ever do if we can't brag about what a man our man is. How he took us here and we did this and he got us this and he said that. Oh never mind the fact that his lazy ass is parked in front of the Playstation as soon as he gets home from work (If you even can call it work!) and that one special night of the week lasts about 20 minutes if we're lucky and then he acts as if he's a God or something. Never mind that we fight every other day and his mother has had him on her couch more times then he's actually slept in our bed. Oh no. This day is sacred to us as well. With enough pressure to erupt Old Faithful. So behind every brag story, every woman who is gushing to release her wonderful night's activities, you must know there is a secret. A secret no one will tell...Most dates were planned by the woman. That's my theory. Why is it that a man who couldn't name a single love song title, can all of a sudden, one day out of the year, plan enough romance to make a Harlequin romance novel burst into flames? DOUBT IT! From January 30th, I know what we are all doing. Secretly beginning the train of though to what are we doing this year for V-Day...

Typical to-do list as follows...

#1. Call restaurant and make reservation for two in case he doesn't. Consider this to be back up plan.
#2. Leave ads for said restaurant pretty much everywhere. Mirror in bathroom. Fridge door. Toliet paper roll. Coat pocket. Anywhere.
#3. Pick up gifts and card and set them in his car after he goes to sleep at night. He will wake up groggily get ready for work and when on his way to work, after he spills coffee everywhere, will he then discover bag of goodies. Not remembering last night's activities thanks to bad poker night with the guys, he'll be patting himself on the back for thinking ahead. Now he can't possibly get into trouble with you for not remembering this dreaded day.
#4. You sit back after he leaves for work patting yourself on the back for making sure everything is ready. Now is the perfect time to go dress shopping for that special night.
#5. Two weeks fly by and man didn't remember to set reservation. Massive fight #1 begins and lasts for 20 minutes about what a moron he is and it ends with you telling him you can pull some strings and get you two in at special restaurant (Pull out Backup Plan reservation here)
#6. As dinner progresses, man pulls out bag. You get excited at the thought of that gorgeous new tennis bracelet and perfume that you picked out, sitting ten inches away from you. He starts going on and on and on about how he loves you and how you mean so much to him even in the bad times...Yet you are thinking, if he doesn't hand over that damn bag soon, he won't even know what bad times are until now!
#7. DON'T PANIC!!! When you pull out a coffee mug with your name on it, don't freak out! It must be a joke...that's right, even with the colorful and tacky socks coming out after it, you realize, it just has to be a joke. Where's the hidden camera at??
#8. When you find out that he returned everything because he didn't feel how it had been a sort of gift you would have wanted and how these great socks and mug just screamed you, you can see red and feel the tears begin to fall but you start breathing lamaze style.
#9. After coming to, after massive fight #2 begins, you ask man what on Earth made him think you had wanted these gifts and not what was in the bag first. He starts explaining how you are always complaing of losing your socks and how he realized that he was wearing them all the time because all the socks in the house are white, so when he saw these he thought that they felt soft which would feel good on your feet and how you wouldn't ever lose these to anyone thinking they were theirs. And when he broke your favorite coffee cup this morning (by the way he says, I broke your coffee cup and I'm sorry) so he ran out to find one and saw this one was insulated so you would never burn yoru hands holding it nor would it ever get cold on you while you are cleaning or doing laundry. During all this, you start realizing that while you will still kill man for not giving you what you had picked out in the first place, You have to give him credit for finding some pretty decent gifts.
#10. When you arrive home, even with that black eye, man is still charming and adorable so you go to the restroom to spritz on some more perfume and put on that new lacy teddy that you got a week ago. When you come out and start talking seductively about wanting to lay down or something, you notice man is paying zero attention to you as his face is glued to that damn TV screen and the Playstation. After shoe hits TV square in the center and massive fight #3 begins, you start noticing how late it is and how you really need to get some sleep soon, you have a deadline to meet in two days and sadly, you haven't even begun...
#11. Two hours later you both have your silent treatments on and are laying there stewing when finally man takes off boxers and asks if he can at least have an ending to the night of hell.
#12. Ten minutes later he falls asleep peacefully and snoring louder than a chainsaw while you pull out Old faithful and treat yourself to a real helping of self gratification.

Ta-Da! A night we all know is un-avoidable. More or less, haha. To add more romance to the night, did you know about the Saint Valentine's Day massacre? Gotta love Al Capone ;)

Ahh cynical sarcasm in it's finest. What will my husband and I seriously be doing this year? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We actually don't celebrate it. We celebrate it every other day of the year and don't think there is a need to rush out and grab chocolates and a card just because every other couple in the world is doing that today. Besides, you think we could even get a seat at a restaurant on this day?? HA!So to those of you who do celebrate it, I hope (and pray!) that your day does not go or end like my "theory". And that you have a lovely time and hopefully a little uniqueness about it as well. And may you all truly remember why you are in love with who you are in love with. And if you are not in love on this day...Enjoy the extra cash!! Until another day!

Ta-Da!

2010-02-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

Well, readers, what do you think of the new look? I got a blog make-over from my very good friend, Gucci Mama. Who is an amazing and saintly woman in my opinion. I had asked about a button and she gave me this. What a fabulous gift from my fabulous friend!

Today is Thursday. It feels like it's been two weeks has gone by since Monday. Why? I'm babysitting. A one year old. All week. I have forgotten how tiring one year olds can be. All I say during the day is No and Get out of there or leave that alone. Or I sigh. A lot. LoL. Boy am I in for it when Ignacio starts walking. Yikes!

My phone is acting poopy on me. Again. I love Alltel but their phones are dissapointing me. I wait anxiously for word on when the switch will happen between them and AT&T. Most states have allowed Alltel to be bought out by Verizon. North Dakota won't. It's illegal to have a monopoly in North Dakota like that. So lucky us, we get AT&T. I actually don't mind. I dispise Verizon. Dirty bastards. I have an 800 dollar bill on my bad credit because of them. And yet since they put it on, no one has ever been able to tell me why my $40 a month bill had been charged that in one month. Nor were they willing to take it off. So they will eat it and I will never use their phones. Ever. There are only two bills on my credit that I refuse to pay. They. Are one of them. *Insert big stuuborn grin here*

My husband's birthday is coming up. I want to do a big party for him because he's never had a birthday party. Ever. I can't though. Their schedule on the railroad is messed up so the most advance warning I would get is like, the day before. He doesn't want one anyways. Because all his friends are railroaders and they'd all be working. He never gets to see his friends now. When one is working, the other is not. I feel bad :(

I'm fighting an addiction right now. My LoL after every sentence addiction. My theory? When I am not laughing out loud, it probably shouldn't be inserted. So I'm resisting using it. Does it make me more of a bland sort of person? I hope not. I'm anything but bland.

Is today's blog random? I hope so.

I'm bored. I'm off to play some farmville before teh babysitting charge comes in. Much love to you all! And until next time! (Kee those questions coming!)

Getting To Know Me...

2010-02-07T17:33:00.001-08:00

So since I have a handful of new followers, I have decided to do a get to know me sort of thing. You can ask me a few questions and I will try my best at answering them. I've been seeing this get done from other bloggers and have decided to join in as well. This should be fun! I will take questions until, let's saaaay...Saturday. And then Sunday I will post my answers :) Sound like fun? :)

I'm Not Your Mother!

2010-02-04T10:20:00.000-08:00

Appreciation. It's not that hard of a thing. When I was younger, I forgot to say thank you to one of my mother's girl-friends after she took me to the movies and she got angry. So angry that she shook the piss out of me and yelled in my face about what an ungrateful little brat I was. I've always been a shy, well behaved person. That incident turned me partly into who I am today. Why? I hate to make people angry. I don't say anything to anyone about how I feel or if they upset me, because I don't want to anger them or upset them. And yes, I hate receiving gifts from people because of this. I feel guilty when people give me things. All my life I have viewed myself as not good enough. As ungrateful. It's ridiculous how one little event can create such a mess of a person.

Why this little glimpse into myself today? Because today I have realized that I am under appreciated and deserve a little bit more.

Abel loves lasagna. Could eat it every meal, every day, all year long, kind of love. Abel wishes I would make it more often. I hate lasagna. Used to like it before I met him. Hate it now. I hate making it and yes, I have even grown to hate it's taste. Why? Because my lasagna is not as good as his mother's. So childish I know. But it upsets me. And today I let him have it.

Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I don't know why but I felt like crying at the drop of a hat. I snapped at everyone and even snuggling Ignacio and watching him smile couldn't get me to even a grin. That. Never. Happens. So at 9, I put both kids to bed and crawled into my fluffy pj's, denied my husband and went to sleep as fast as possible. Abel got yelled at yesterday morning because Ignacio had woken up fussing, I was still sleeping and he was laying in bed watching TV and not getting up to do anything for Ignacio. I snapped and it went from there. Well, this morning I woke up at 9 am realizing how late it was, went to check on my son and he was gone! Turns out my husband had gotten up an hour beforehand and taken my son down with him. Something must have been eating at his conscience...

He asked me why I didn't make lasagna often. That he was glad I had made it yesterday. So, Beckie, for the first time ever, let someone have it without any tears of frustration or hiding behind anything. I hate making it and hate that I hate making it. I used to enjoy making it for him but every single time I make it, the first words out of his mouth are "It's not as good as my mom's but it's okay." I'm tired of having my stuff compared to his mother and if he wants food like his mother's then he needs to go back with his mom. I feel better now and was really glad that it didn't start a fight and that he apologized and it was over with just like that. I feel so much better about it and that's what counts. And I'm learning that I no longer need to hurt myself by sheltering others, if I am upset well then dang it, I'm letting you know. LoL.

On a much brighter note. I received my awesome Valentine's box from Amity. Tell me how awesome it is to sign up for a Valentine's Day exchange and end up with your best friend as your partner?? LoL. I definitely got very lucky and blessed! So our box came:( address has been blurred to protect my identity)

And inside were these:

Which were these:

As we opened them we got to find a awesome cheerful new apron which will save my shirts lives from now on :)

And a hilarious new book which I will DEFINITELY be reading

And some yummy homemade goodies which I would love to know how to make myself

And some pretties

for my pretty

And a handsome new hoodie for the boy as well.

Amity also sent some new clothes for my pretty and I would love to take a few photos like this one

But sadly she stole them all and is playing dress up because she can't decide what to wear today, LoL. So that was my wonderful Valentine's surprise :) So come tomorrow (pay check day!!) I get to send off a box for her and her pretties (and handsome man too) and wait to see how she enjoyed them too :) I love exchanges :)

So with all this said pardon the picture quality, I sacrificed my digital camera batteries for my pretty's leapfrog computer thingy and need more, so you'll have to settle for my Blackberry camera quality :) I'm off to fix some dinner and change little man now. I hope everyone had a fabulous day and I will venture on here again. Another day! Ciao bellas!

No Theme For Today??

2010-01-28T07:33:00.000-08:00

Well then, I will make my own up! LoL. I love how each day there is a theme on everyone's blogs. Wednesday is Rant and Rave which I do sometimes....Rarely but still sometimes. And Friday Fragments I've been known to do too. Today I need something random and I can't seem to find nor remember if there is a theme for Thursdays. So I'm doing it anyways!

I follow an awesome blog and yesterday she had begun a 14-day challenge for us married women. I'm not active in it because I have done it before and because I'm holding out for the Love Dare challenge coming up after it. It isn't that my marriage is perfect, it isn't but it is close to it. I know, a lot of people say that to hide what is really going on, but I wouldn't lie on my blog, nor hide things. This is pretty much one of the only places I can come running to, to let it all hang out. There was a time when my marriage wasn't going to last another year. Yes we've only been married 5 years now, (well a few short months from it at least) but believe me when I say it's been a looooong 5 years. It feels like 10 for us in reality. We've survived things that most married couples wouldn't and I hold that near and dear.

Have I ever told you guys that Abel and I only dated for 28 days before we eloped? Before that, we barely knew each other and even then we had known each other for 3 months maybe? Nice right? LoL. I know what you are thinking and crazy is probably in one of the sentences. But you know, I don't see the big deal honestly. We prayed about our relationship, stayed pure to ourselves, (Abel and I had only kissed and held hands the entire time we knew each other and dated) and when we eloped, we made the contract to ourselves and to God. Meaning, we meant our vows and had agreed beforehand that there would only be death as our way out of the marriage. I wish people who were getting married would be more concerned with the vows instead of the dress or the reception afterwards you know? Divorce runs rampant and it's hard to not get frustrated. I grew up in the most un-conventional family you can come across. A divorced mother turned lesbian with her life partner (now legally wife) raising us. But it was hard not seeing both parents daily and not having what everyone else had. When I lived with my dad and was in girl scouts, the mother and me programs were often and yet I had to miss out. My dad's boss took me bra shopping and I never had interests in sports until I moved back in with my dad in high school. There are things I missed out and yes I hold my parents responsible for that. So I grew up telling myself, I would never get divorced and I hold onto that very strongly. I firmly believe that if someone gets married telling themselves that there is always a way out if things get bad, they will never make it. People have gotten so lazy anymore. Something gets hard, run or find the easiest way out. I know, I can't say much about other people's life because I'm not there but believe me, Abel and I have been through a lot and made it through just fine, because we believe you can work through anything and come out stronger and better than before.

I should have been born back in the 1950's.

I guess I got my kick from watching that Teen Mom show on MTV. I feel for some of the kids but then there are some of them that I wish I could be there and give a wake up chat to. Some whine because they can't go out partying all the time like they want to. Some whine because they can't get along with their boyfriends but yet they are the ones always screaming and causing fights with them. In the middle of this stuff, are the babies. It just makes me feel really lucky and blessed to be with Abel I guess. I pray daily that when I teach my kids to stay abstinent that they do. It isn't a holier than thou thing by the way. I get that a lot. "You want your kids to think they are better than anyone just because they won't have sex?" Puh-lease. I want my kids to stay STD and cootie free. I want my kids to grow up without worrying about if the only reason a person is with them is for the sex. I want them to not have to be a parent of a child when they themselves are still one. And I want my kids to be able to look at a rumor of them being a "slut" or a "man-whore" and laugh at it because it couldn't possibly be true.

I truly feel guilty for hiding me on here. I try not to bring anything personal on here because not a lot of people share my beliefs. I'm scared of scaring people off to tell you the truth. Or to start a debate or get criticized. Lots of excuses for hiding myself. I am a Christian and extremely proud of it. I'm also Jewish as well and very proud of that too. I'm a bottle feeding, baby wearing, non-cloth diapering, Hamburger Helper making, junk food and non-organic eating, naive, sometimes judgemental, sometimes emotional, shy, kinda woman. When I get angry, I don't think well and usually the first thing to come out goes straight out of my mouth before I can think about it. And I do live my life kinda weird to everyone but I love it. I am a stay at home mother. I cook and clean on a daily basis. I am a homebody and love it. I put everyone before myself. When I get angry with someone I never tell them because I don't want to hurt their feelings or upset them. I over analyze everything. And I ramble. A lot. I serve my husband and childen their food because it makes me happy as well as take care of them and clean up after them all, husband included. I love colors. I'm very sarcastic. I never swear. The only alcohol that passes through my lips is a Mike's Hard Berry once in a blue moon and never a full bottle. I have OCD (which would explain the half bottle thing) and I also have anxiety. I never followed politics before Obama and Palin. I do not ever declare Rupublican party or Demacrat party. I am a I-vote-for-who-I-wanna-because-I-wanna party. But was a huge supporter of Palin, and NOT one of Obama's. My children and husband are Mexican American and we speak Spanish in my house and no, I don't care if you get pissed off that we aren't talking English in this country. And yes if you get offended when we speak Spanish, I will get offended too. I have high morals and values. My husband and I never yell at each other. We don't argue in front of the kids. Ever. And if I know that someone yells or swears or fights in front of their kids, they won't be able to watch my kiddos or have them over for any sleepover.

I don't know what sparred me to rant today or ramble but it was time. I thought I had a road block for my blogging. I'm a dull blogger and no fun but things will be picking up. I may be the quiet type when not on my computer but this is where I need to be the real me. :D Hope you stick with me after this! Things may get exciting finally.

Anyways, I get to go finish my loan papers (getting a new car finally!) and then some shopping and cleaning. So hope everyone is having a fantastic day! Oh and go visit This Mama Rocks! She is having a fabulous auction to raise monies for the Red cross for help and relief efforts in Haiti! Tons of amazing stuff!! Including a carseat too! Last I saw it was going for $20!

Cancellation Notice

2010-01-12T10:57:00.001-08:00

I have decided to cancel my birthday this year. I will just allow myself to be 25 but that is it.

I used to get frustrated because no matter where I have ever been, every year (And I really do mean every year!) on my birthday, there has been a storm which always prevents me from doing anything or going anywhere on my birthday. So you see, me celebrating ON my birthday hasn't ever really happened for me.

This year, what could possibly happened that may cause my reason of anger and sadness enough to cancel my own festivities?

Lung Cancer.

Not me. My father. You see, while being in the hospital yet again, they decided to do a CT Scan on his lungs. When studying the results, they came across 3 lumps in his chest that when comparing to all of his xrays in the past (the latest one not even 2 months ago), they have found that these lumps have been growing at a pretty quick rate. So now we are to venture off to Bismarck to have more tests done. It could turn out to be nothing. But the doctor doesn't think it will. And if it happens to be cancer, my father doesn't get to receive any radiation or chemo or surgery or anything. His health doesn't allow him to be a candidate.

Pretty depressing huh? But nonetheless we will not stop praying and I won't jump too far into conclusions although I pretty much live there right now.

So 6 days from now. I'll be 25.

And hopefully, dad won't have cancer.

And hopefully there won't be a storm of any kind.

For once.

My Word!

2010-01-09T07:45:00.000-08:00

It has been awhile hasn't it? I apologize. I'm a slacker and have not had much motivation for blogging lately. I don't know why or what's wrong with me. It should be back and I'll be a daily blogger again! LoL.
So I hope things went well with everyone's holiday season :) The kids and I go to be flown down to Las Vegas for a 4 day visit and then off to California for a two week visit that was only supposed to be a week long. It was fabulous! But let me begin in the beginning....
We left on the 27th to get down to Vegas. The trip wasn't as bad as I thought it would be what with two kids, a stroller, two carseats, two bags and a diaper bag. I begged and prayed for someone to assist me when landing and I found a fabulous woman who turned up right as Hannah threw herself onto the airport floor and refused to get up. Apparently toddlers get tired right as you don't need them to be. So this woman not only popped out a lollipop to quiet my child and turn her into an obedient princess, she also grabbed my carseat and luggage and walked me to the shuttle that was to take me to my hotel. I cried. I couldn't help it. I. ~~Was at my wits end.~~ ~~Hating that I was 5 states away from Abel.~~ ~~Was alone with two kids.~~ It was great!! So we got to Circus Circus and met up with my step-sister and her two kids and got checked in and into our rooms. Which memo to self. Never stay at Circus Circus with children again. I don't know how your children are but when a hotel can't even put locks on their doors and the valet is telling me a story of how a 2 year old wandered off without her parents knowledge...yeah sign me up for another stay!!
So we got to surprise my mom, visit the casinos and funness that we could. Oogle the shows that we wished we could go to and of course buy souvenirs and take lots of pictures. It was fun but crowded of course and I missed Abel, LoL. What more can I say?
So, on our way to California! My mother lives 30 miles from Twentynine Palms. Yucca Valley. I love the desert so seeing nothing but desert and yucca trees and joshua trees made me happy. Anyone else it probably would have made them gag. We spent a few days just chilling, getting over colds and visiting with each other. When Christmas day came along, we loaded everyone up and headed off to Disneyland. My one advice for you if you ever go to Disneyland. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the best days to go and never EVER go on Christmas day. We got to hit It's A Small World with the kids, watch the parade, get souvenirs and that was it. Within 4 hours of being there. It. Was. Nuts! They quit selling tickets at 11am and I have never been there for that to happen! After all that fun we went to our hotel room, got dinner and the kids and my moms went to bed (it was 7 at this point) So my step-sister and I headed back where thank you Jesus for those fireworks and parades and Fantasmic show because of those, we got to hit tons of rides and get tons of pictures. It was awesome and I'm very glad we went. Hannah and Ignacio's first time wasn't the best but it was great. Hannah's face as she saw everything and got to meet Mickey was priceless and I'm so glad we got to go! I'm thankful to my parents who paid for everything. We went down with zero cash whatsoever. Mom, I won't badmouth you for awhile, LoL.
So then we were supposed to leave two days after that but found out that North Dakota had shut down everything for two days due to snow and storms so I had to change my plane ticket. I got it changed but just for future reference, never EVER fly Allegiant Airlines. They broke my stroller in half somehow and also broke my suitcase which they refuse to pay for. Jerks. And I paid extra money for their flex plan which allowed me to change my ticket at any time, they refused to honor that so my mom had to shell out $400 to have me shipped back home. Way to be Allegiant. Dirty *&%^%*&%^.
It really was a great trip though but I was sooo happy to get home to Abel again. The kids were too. Hannah didn't let go of daddy for a long time, LoL. We also got to go visit Abel's family for two days too so I did get to see family and it was good but nothing like home! :)
My lessons learned though? Never travel without Abel, never fly Allegiant, never go to Disneyland on holidays. And always smile no matter the drama going on within the family :) I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and new Year's. I apologize fo rthis being so short but a handsome little man in the front room is demanding some mommy and me time. Lots of love and happy thoughts!!

*Beckie*

Critter Cutter Giveaway!

2009-12-14T18:48:00.000-08:00

Head on over to Oh My baby! She has a giveaway going on right now for critter cutters! Super awesome and easy to use cutters for sandwiches! The company I'm using to buy them from is www.sweetmadys.com but Oh My Baby has the actual website for you on these things. They are different shaped cutters that you use to cut out animals or puzzle pieces from sandwiches. Hannah is picky with her bread, no crust and she won't eat it whole. So I'm stuck spending 10 minutes making and tearing and cutting a sandwich and these will cut it down to like 5 seconds. I'm gunning to win the puzzle piece set for Hannah but I'ma blog about it to give you a chance to hit it up too. And if you know a godo deal, you will :)

My Puj Tub

2009-12-04T11:33:00.000-08:00

I know that for some of you, this probably will not even matter. but for those of you with small babies or about to have a small baby or know someone who has/is having a small baby, this is definitely for you.
I signed up to be a Puj Tub tester and they sent me a free Puj Tub to review. So today after I got it in the mail I tried it out. The Puj Tub is a really sturdy, almost soft plastic like tub. It arrives flat and stays flat unless you are using it. When you are ready to use it you snap it into place thanks to some pieces of strong magnets. It snaps into place really easily and you can fit it into most any sinks. I tried both the kitchen sink (which is super small) and my bathroom sink (which is also super small). And Ignacio fit into it perfectly. I will tell you right now that the only thing I didn't like of it, I couldn't wash his hair in it without a bit of difficulty. But it is wonderful to use for a quick bath or just to wash off the spit up or messy diaper leftovers. He sat in it really comfortably and even giggled while I washed him. I tend to have bad knees so kneeling on the ground while bathing my son hurts like heck, so with this tub I got to stand and let me tell you how wonderful that was! Really.
The nice thing was that I used half of the water that I normally do and there was never any fear of the water over flowing. there are slots on each side that allow the water to drain out. I didn't make a mess and neither one of us (the baby or I) slipped or fell or anything worrisome.
The best part I think was the fact that it wasn't bulky and I could store it anywhere without it taking up a ton of space like my other tub. I put a hook up on my door and hung it right there! How convenient and amazing!
All in all, this tub was pretty awesome. It was even nice knowing there was no worry of him drowning like with any other tub. You have to be right there the whole time with my other tub and with this one, I could sit on the toilet to watch him and know that he would be just fine (running water makes me have to go potty what can I say?). Baby can't slip in it or out of it (at least mine can't) and I think it's awesome. I'm going to make this my quick bath or my travel bath because this will fit perfectly in my luggage. I think everyone should try it because I'm pretty sure, if you have a small baby, you will love it. And by the time they grow out of it, you won't need a bathtub, you can just use the regular sink as is or have baby sit in the tub with you. No need to pay $50 for a tub you'll use for 6 months maybe. Check out the Puj Tub for yourself at the new web site exclusively for baby bath tubs!

This is the Puj Tub put together in my sink. My sink is tiny yet the tub still fit

Ignacio sitting in his tub.

Filling the tub up with water

The slots that let the water out so it doesn't overflow

Ignacio content with his tub See how comfortable he is?

Quick Freebie

2009-12-01T08:50:00.000-08:00

There is a button on my sidebar. It says North Dakota Frugal Mom. It's the very top one. See it? Go there. She is the best! Everyday there are freebies and coupons for fat discounts! And right now, she found the perfect freebie. It's for a free photo calander, free including free S&H!! I made one for my SIL and it took me 10 minutes. It may take you longer if you don't have an account with them or any photos uploaded already. She was the one who pointed out about free photobooks that they were giving away too. She's got a few other Christmas gooodies too, like info about a free photo with Santa at Walmart, or a free Christmas stocking. Free memory card for your camera...Etc..Gotta visit her! Only if you like freebies however, LoL. And tell your friends :)

Things are good here at home. I was having a rough day yesterday. One of my friends busted her ankle up so she had to come home and spend a few months here healing and getting fixed and all that. So I was happy because we normally see each other maybe once a year. She's been my best friend since I was a freshmen in high school-->9 years. Another friend came home for Thanksgiving break and I'm all mopey because they are going out everynight and having a good old time and the days of me just up and running around freely are over. It made me sad. Who wants to hang out with a marrried mother when you aren't married or a mom? It sounds dumb I know. Especially now that I've made two new friends who not only does my husband actually like their husbands, but they have kids as well. I'm not good at making new friends and it takes me a loong time to actually hit that spot of hey you and I are friends! And I can feel like myself around them, you know? Like my husband says, if you pass gas in front of someone and they laugh, you know you've found a friend, LoL. (Don't worry everyone, I don't pass gas. Ever. LoL)

So I'm off to go push the husband on the roof. He needs to put up my Chritsmas lights. He's late. Ugh. I'll take pictures once it's all dine. And I'll show you George. My deer. He's awesome.

Have a great day y'all!!
*Beckie*

Giveaway For Baby Boys :)

2009-11-22T09:51:00.000-08:00

Our Inspired Moments is having a giveaway for a beautiful pair of booties and matching hat and you should rush over there and sign up if you have a baby boy :) I know I do and I will be there ;)

It Happens

2009-11-18T03:21:00.000-08:00

When something bad comes around my way, this is always my reply when people ask or talk about it. It happens. Whatever it is, it happens. We can't walk around life and think "It just won't happen to me." We can but we will be completely wrong. Always.
So as I sit here thinking about my father, in the crack of dawn, or actually a few hours before...A part of me is still going hey, it won't happen. Someday but no where near now. WRONG!
We ventured to Bismarck yesterday to go see dad's doctor at the Heart and Lung clinic. We had to get him out of the hospital for the day to do this mind you. This is his fourth week in the hospital. So he was thankful and glad for the trip. It meant one day he could have a break. Which he did. He got to eat at McDonald's (Yes doctor, he only ate a grilled chicken salad and a diet sprite) and he got to hang out with his grandson all day which was what he enjoyed the most.
The news we received at the clinic wasn't good news though. Q: Why isn't dad getting better and keeps slowly declining? A: Because when he caught the flu it was the swine flu, and on top of that he had double pneumonia. That takes a few weeks to get over for a healthy person, for dad it will be much longer. His lungs however are slowly failing him and giving out. His heart as well. It's already having to beat hard because of the breathing but now that he has been diagnosed as having heart failure, one side beats twice as hard and fast to make up for the other side. One of them is going to give out soon and it's slowly coming to that point.
I was watching dad yesterday as we were sitting in the office and sitting in his wheelchair, I noticed that he looked liek an old man and started wondering, when teh heck did that happen? My dad is going to be 69 here in a few days. I know he's older than all of my friend's dads. I know he's older than a lot of people but his age never stopped him from doing anything. Until now. And that's the hardest part. How do you stand by and let someone get old?
So now I don't know. I hate to jump to the conclusion and say he's dying because I still don't feel like he is. I think this is just a really big and really hard bump in the road. I know things are failing but that doesn't mean he's dying. I hate HATE that word by the way. I don't want to think that and get myself in a stressed out anxiety ridden tizzy for nothing. But then again, I don't want to be caught off guard. So I don't know. I really don't know why I am posting this. Maybe because it is part of me opening up and not hiding anything. I've grown close to you all. And I'm not looking for pity but maybe a few prayers?
It's hard to sit there and watch someone struggle for a simple breath. Or to wish that despite the struggle and pain and suffering that God spare you a few more years with them because you want to be selfish and not have them leave just yet. Or to try not to cry over nothing even though it can be something? I think the hardest part of it is thinking of my kids. Which is where my dam bursts every time :) I grew up with no grandparents. I don't want my kids growing up with no grandparents. To have to stand by and know that they are going to be around so many kids who talk non-stop about grandparents when mine don't have theirs. Or when Grandparents day comes by, they'll stand there going, okaaay now what? My dad is the only one who does things for them and with them, who spends the time with them, who cares. Abel's family must think that they have so many so it's okay if one or two get forgotten. And we're the lucky ones who get to conveniently wait on the sides. We don't get birthday cards or gifts, or holiday cards but yet I get a nagging phone call if I forget a picture. My mom sent Hannah her first birthday gift this year. A month and a half late but I'm just thankful she got something. So when my dad is gone, what then you know?
So Thanksgiving this year will be small and eaten in a hospital room. My idea and even with dad complaining and telling us no, I'm not giving in. I have told the nurses to screw their whole "No minors under the age of 16" BS rule. I have respect for nurses but not when it comes to this. And yes, when I hear of the slightest thing going wrong, I freak out on them now. Because I don't want them ignoring my father or treating him like any other patient. And that bitch who was working the ER when they turned him away and sent him home WILL be seeing my gorgeous face in a few days because had she admitted my father like they were supposed to instead of turning him away and sending hm home with no medication, this wouldn't be happening right now. Pardon my french there.
I know everyone is complaining about Christmas decorations and ads appearing so early. I ran into people in WalMart yesterday with that attitude. Me? I'm brutally honest here. I don't care for Thanksgiving. I'm thankful everyday of the year so to set aside one day of the year to be thankful is crap. Just like Valentine's Day. Crap holiday too. But I'll vent about that one when it comes. Thanksgiving is just a day to eat Turkey. I'm glad the Pilgrims came here and all that so yes I still celebrate it. But it's boring. I'm sorry. Don't hate me. I'm on a truthful binge here. This year though, I want one more Christmas with dad. So I'm yanking out our lights today because the husband is going to have them up before dad gets home. Dad has never put lights up on this house and has always wanted to so we're doing it for him and by gum, he will see the house lit up whether it be a week before Thanksgiving or not. Like I put up on Facebook. I'm decorating early, don't nag at me if you don't like it because it may be our last with my dad. Thanksgiving isn't important to him so we're skipping that halfway.
Anyways, I'm leaving it here. My stomach is upset with stress so I'm going to go lay down and watch Spongebob. By the way. If you smoke and I find out about it, you will have a nag on you until you quit. This is why my father is like this. COPD people! Emphysema! People know what happens and yet they smoke away not caring. Dad can't stand up without struggling to breath. He can't walk 2 feet to a chair without needing a nebulizer treatment. If that sounds fun, keep puffing on that death stick. Literally death stick. It's an ugly and nasty habit anyways. Abel smokes and let's just say all excitement for him has now ceased. I will not be doing this twice in my life. And I will use whatever means I can to "encourage" him to quit. *smirk*
Anyways, I didn't put this up to seek pity, I don't deal well with it anyways. I just wanted to let you know that a road traveled often on has developed a pot hole and I don't know how big this hole will get yet or if it will be patched up for now. But if I don't blog often in the next month or two, don't worry, I will at least be reading your blogs, I just will be sucking in as much time as I can. And maybe, we are all wrong. Maybe this time next year I'll be writing a blog venting on how dad wants to BBQ the turkey instead of baking it and how that frustrates me, haha. :) I hope...So a very early Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope you all have a fabulous time with family and friends and eat some nice juicy not burnt turkey :D

*Beckie*

Friday Fragments

2009-11-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

Well, well, dear followers and random readers from afar, it is Friday and you knwo what that means! FRIDAY FRAGMENTS!! And of course, I only link up the best so go visit Mrs. 4444! AFTER you read my fragments that is ;)

*So I woke up with a sore throat today. Figures...I'm going to be guzzling down some Emergen-C today that's for sure!

*We have experianced a friend pasing away last night. Abel worked with him on teh railroad and is still in shock about it. A mid-40s man who just lost his wife two years prior to cancer, raising 3 or 4 boys who only one has graduated from high school. These kids are on my mind and it hurts to think of them. Life sometimes seems cruel but we all have to understand that Christian or not, hard times or easy, there is ALWAYS a reason.

*We're adopting and I get word in a few days about my adoptee!! I'm totally pumped!! Oh wait a second, I'm sorry, we've adopted a soldier! LoL. Puh-lease? Another child in my house right now?? HAH! I think it's an awesome way of supporting our soldiers. That and they need goodies over there and why not spoil someone who is fighting for me? I encourage everyone to sign on! Uncle Sam wants YOU!!

*I'm on post 76 today. I am going to create a surprise for all my beautiful and wonderful followers for my 100th :) I don't have a thousand followers but it sure makes me feel good about the ones who are following me. Not everyone hangs around my blabbering nonsense for this long, haha.

*My daughter and my son are so fun to watch. Ater Ignacio's morning feeding I lay him on the floor on his blanket. Hannah has to have the same thing and they end up laying together. And then Hannah gets goofy and starts making Ignacio laugh (Or what we call his laugh) and they are just so comical together. I can see so much love flowing from them both and it touches my heart. Hannah will tell you, Ignacio is her best friend. Talk about awww! Think it'll survive the teenage years?? LoL!

*Ugh. So memo to self: Last night's dinner left in the microwave overnight does not, I repeat, does not do this house a favor when door is opened! And no amount of candles and Febreeze will take that smell away. LoL.

*Stress reiever: Playdoh in a ziplock baggy with all air removed. Cheap and easy.

Thanks Mrs.4444 for letting me hop on again and thank you readers for reading my quick bit of nonsense! Until next time....

This Could Be A Long, & Very Personal One....

2009-11-12T06:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel I could sit down and write a novel. I have this desire to do one and I get so many ideas. Do you ever just stand around doing dishes and literally write two chapters of a book in your head but then as you sit down to jot it all down it disappears? So at least I keep myself entertained, LoL.

Well this is where this blog came from. I wake up at 5 or 6 every morning. And I do up a few dishes in the sink from after dinner and such. That is my quiet time. Hannah is watching morning cartoons, Ignacio has been fed and is sleeping and I? Get to wash dishes and tidy up the kitchen and get lost in my thoughts. And that's what I did, I got lost and ended up writing my blog in my head. And then I just knew that while I didn't want to rush out this blog, that it may need a few days to write out and worked on to fully get everything right, I wanted to get it out while it is still fresh.

My thoughts this morning are of Amity. If you haven't found her yet or read her blog, you absolutely need to. She is an amazing person with hilarious blogs and an amazing ability to write but she did something for me yesterday that has probably changed a lot for me. The blog I have linked to her is the one where she explains about her gift. And what a gift it is. She gave away a few readings and I was lucky and blessed to receive one. I admit, I didn't really know or understand exactly what it was or what went on but when she called me she talked me through it and explained it all to me and I felt good about it. Let me stop here that while they are psychics out there, Amity is not one of them. They dabble in things that are dark and I do not believe, from God. Amity's gift is from God. The things Amity told me were from God for he was the only one to know such things. It's very emotional because what she told me was so personal, no one but myself knew, not even my husband and people who have known me for the past 20 years, don't even know me as well as Amity did yesterday. So when you read her blog and read what I have to share, have an open mind and heart and don't push it away because if you do, I'm not sure you need to be reading this.

I hope I can write this as well as it comes to me in my head :)

Amity began yesterday by telling me about my past. Telling me that inside, I'm a scared little girl who is trying to people please her way through life. That I have a guilty conscience when I tell people no and feel as if I tell people no, they will no longer be there for me or like me if you will. That that's why now, there are people who when they need something done they automatically sign me up for it because they know I won't say no and that I'll do it like always. They don't ask me anymore. But that it is okay to say no to people, that I don't have to please everyone all the time. The only people I need to please or should worry about pleasing is only my family and even then there are times when I'm allowed to say no. That's me. In fact I was thinking the other day that I'm just a barker. I like to talk a big talk but when it really comes down to it, I can't even ask a waiter for a new plate of food if something is terribly wrong with what I ordered. I eat it because I don't want people to be mad at me. I don't say no even if I don't want to do something, I just do it. I really do have issues with that. And it comes from when I was younger like Amity told me. When you think of drama, you can picture my family. They are famous for going on binges. No-speaking binges. Where when two family members get into it, they quit talking for a few years and then the whole family sides on one side or another as well and you end up not speaking to or hearing from one side of your family for a few years. And then everyone gets together for some occasion and things are all fine and dandy. Until the next fight. I hated that. I thought that if I could just keep everyone happy, things will always be fine. When my mom put me in counseling I was told that I made myself to be the scapegoat for our family and that wasn't right. No matter what, I've just accepted it and gone on with life. But Amity could read me like a book and she knew and said that I was working on it and that I had doubt but to let go of the doubt and know that I was almost done and was becoming the person I needed to be. I've always felt like a kid. Even now, I'm going to be 25 in two more months and I worry about when am I going to become an adult? I'm finally starting to find myself and I'm so very happy that I'm doing a fine job and that this leg of my journey is almost over.

At this point in the reading I was shocked to tears. I couldn't speak and I was just ... speechless. I have a built up barrier. There are parts of me that even my husband doesn't have a clue about and within 10 minutes, Amity had busted my walls down and exposed me and uncomfortable and new it was, it was actually kind of nice. I felt naked and that my scars were showing through and yet I was being shown that it didn't change anything between Amity and me. She didn't run away and say oh my gosh I hate you never talk to me again. I don't know if she knows it or not but she's cleared away so much and now I'm truly healing and letting down my walls for the first time ever. So I have to stop and say thank you again Amity. My first 10 minutes of this and you've done more than any of my 5 therapists and the 6 years on medications. LoL.

You'll have to excuse my emotional outbursts and my being so girly right now. I'm telling you what, this experience really did wonders on me you have no idea...

So my next part of the reading was about my present. That right now she could see that I was trying to strengthen my walk with God, that I am full of prayers, praying constantly for everyone and myself. And that I was finally becoming my own person. What I mean by that and the same thing she told me, I've never been known just as Beckie. I've been known as Monty's daughter, the kid of the lesbians, so-and-so's girlfriend and now Abel's wife. That's the famous one. Never just Beckie and now I'm starting to walk away from being associated with everyone and becoming my own person which is so nice. Now when people meet me and introduce me to others, this is Beckie is the first words out of their mouths. Not "This is Beckie, Abel's wife." This is where it all pretty much hit my emotional ceiling for me though. She was getting something about an older woman who wanted me to know that she was in Heaven and that things were absolutely fine and that I needed to let go of my worries of her. That may not sound like anything to anyone else but it was the best news I've ever heard. I never met my father's side of the family. My half sister a few times until 4th grade when she basically fell off the planet and never talked to me or my father again. Met an aunt once. That's it. My grandparents died before I was born and lately, over the past few months I've been trying to learn as much as possible about my grandma. I hurt because I never got a chance to meet her and learn from her and have a relationship from a normal family member you know? And not only that but within my walk with God I am sad because no one in my family is a Christian so I worry that when it comes time for me to be in Heaven, I will have no family there you know? I know, you are probably thinking I worry over the silliest things but it's a validated worry. Don't you want what's best for your family and worry when they are making choices that aren't so good for them? Me too. So when Amity told me that an older woman was in Heaven and wanted me to know things were okay I started crying because I knew who that was. There's only one older woman who isn't here you know. And everything she said was an exact worry or constant thought in my mind. It felt so good right then. To have a big weight off of my chest and to know things are well. Do you ever wonder if, when or if we get to Heaven if we are allowed to "check-up" on our family members or friends? In a matter of speaking that is. Like we can tear open a hole in the floor of Heaven and peek down at them? It was like being told that Hey, I'm watching you, don't worry. And now when I go about business I wonder if she is watching and proud and I actually can't wait to get up there and finally meet her.

I can't quit crying, LoL. It's really emotional and please understand that by sharing this with you, I have vulnerably opened myself up to you all. I've never done this before...

My last part was about my future. Amity doesn't tell you your future and she'll tell you that right out. It isn't for us to know. But she can see our goals for the future or our hopes if you will. Forgive me if I explain this wrong, I don't know exactly how to say it. Like I said, you need to read Amity's blog and talk to her about it. Obviously she can explain it...But about my future. She told me that my goal of wanting to be a strong Christian woman and being known for that, would be reached. That I will be the woman I strive to be, I just have to have patience and have faith. That is another constant worry on my mind. Am I truly a decent mother? When will I get better? Am I the woman I should be? Am I going to ever be a good Christian woman? Those sort of thoughts. I just need to have faith that yes, I will be who I need and want to be.

And then she asked if I had any questions or am seeking any answers to anything and I told her about my present situation. In a past blog I had mentioned about Abel's ex friend and his text messaging drama. that's all that I've told anyone about the situation mind you. And all I told Amity is that my anxiety is starting to come back and I'm terrified at night, that every sound sends me to wake Abel and send him down the stairs. I don't sleep well anymore and I'm making myself sick and that I really had to know if we were going to be safe and protected like I want to trust we will be. She then told me that she was seeing a man who was a family member or even a brother to us, that his mind was clouded with drugs or alcohol, and that he has recently flipped his lid. When she asked if that was true I was like oh my word, exactly what I was thinking about. Let me tell you the back story so you can be wowed too...

This guy, Wes, was best friends with Abel. Brothers they called each other as they had been through so much together and been together for so many years. He is a drug user (abuser) and deals them as well. And he did go nuts. He had sent about 30 text messages to Abel's cell phone telling him to eff off, called him, his mother, his dead grandfather and myself a bunch of dirty, awful names, and then when Abel told him he was done with Wes and would no longer have him as a part of his life. Wes got very angry began sending messages that Abel refused to respond to, which a few were about my children who were "abominations" as he called them. The next day he attempted to get into Abel's voicemail which after 3 times of failed attempts, Verizon locks you out and you can't get back in without calling them and accessing your account. They they give you the number of who was trying to access your account or voicemail and that's how we found out it was Wes. So that's when Abel changed his phone number for safety and peace sake. A few days later, Wes begins sending me e-mails which were harassing and threatening. Like how I should be glad and lucky Abel changed his number because Wes would have come up to take care of business had Abel not changed it. That is what I have been terrified of. He was crazy before hand, but now for some reason, it's like something in his head snapped and he's lost it totally. We've both blocked him from e-mailing us and now he can't get a hold of us in any way. Unless he gets a new e-mail address or whatever. That's about it.

So then Amity tells me that I have a reason to be scared, to know that I'm not being over dramatic basically. Which I always have a side worry about. And then she asked if he was a hunter and I said yes, because he attempts to hunt every year but is so bad at it he never gets anything. She had seen him with guns and was wondering. Then she tells me that he moved, which yes he moved the same week this was all going on, but that we didn't know where to. She told me that his vehicle broke down and they have no money so there is no way for him to even get near us. But that she saw no harm to us by him and that he won't be trying to come up to us. Which was exactly what I had hoped and prayed for. I want safety, not just for me but for my kids. My biggest fear is something happening to them.

Last night was the first time I have slept all night with no worries. Even my dream, I remembered it and it was goofy and fun, not scary and frightening. Ignacio also had a great night, he woke up only once, ate, I changed his butt and we both fell asleep immediately after. I can't tell you how wonderful I feel today. I feel so amazing and light. I feel like so much has been opened for me and I feel like I'm not only healing inside but that so many things that I had worries or anxiety over can truly be let go with no doubt. I wanted to blog about this because I think everyone should have a reading done, it benefits you like you wouldn't believe. But I also wanted to open myself up for once. You all can be my first victims muahahaha. I wanted to be real with you as this is day one as the real me. Look mom, I'm growing up finally! :D

Thank A Vet (And A Soldier!)

2009-11-11T11:18:00.000-08:00

I never see my dad quite as proud as I do today.

My dad will be 69 this year. I'm going to 25 in January. He had me much later in life as you can tell. It sucks because he won't be here very much longer, maybe a few years the doctor's tell me. Maybe. And when he looks back on his life, he tells me he regrets nothing and that's how it should be. That as I live my life I should do things that won't cause regret in life. And that with every choice there needs to be had, there will always be two different decisions. But not to worry about what if I had taken the other road, or did something different, because I didn't and it doesn't matter now. I love my daddy. Yes I admit it, I call him my daddy. Not in public and hardly ever to his face but in writing and over the hone, he's still my daddy. I was always, ALWAYS a daddy's girl and spoiled to the bone.

He joined the military when he was 21. He joined the Air Force and was in there for 4 years when he decided not to reenlist again. It wasn't for him. He went back to his parent's place and couldn't find a job and ended up going back into the military. The Marine Corps this time. He was in there for 21 years. Long enough to be eligible for retirement benefits and to be known as a lifer. When he retired out of the Marine Corps he was 46, a Master Staff Seargent and had me, a two year old chubby baby girl waiting for him at home. He served in the Vietnam War as a weather man and also as ... Okay so I forgot what he called it here forgive me please...But basically he had a few weapons on him and rode with men through the jungles as a guard basically. It was his job to look for the enemy or their weapons, bombs, traps etc...He's been shot at and almost died thanks to a mine. But yet he came home safely.

When this Ft hood event took place my father was angry. Men back in Vietnam were drafted, they had no choice but to serve and while some of them jumped to Canada or Mexico, no one ever shot up a base or innocent people. He didn't enjoy being in Vietnam but he made the best of it however he could and dealt with it. He doesn't like how people have evolved from the 1940's to now. And yes, he also still has a thing against the Army. I guess everyone has to have a rival of some kind right? Haha. A Marines rival will always be the Army I suppose....

I'm the first person in my line of family to not be in the military. We are a military family and I'm proud of that. I actually was in the Navy for about a week until they told me they weren't taking me after all due to a pregnancy test that came back positive (thank you Hannah). I would have loved being in but I'm also thankful and happy I have what I do now.

I'm so proud of my dad. He's still proud of that part of his life and doesn't live in those days but now that I'm older he opens up to me and tells me a lot about the years in the military. And a lot of things around our house that I used to think of junk, like an old desk, a few mismatched plates that I don't like as they match nothing and aren't a set. Or a few books and even some weird blankets and sleeping bags. They all came from the base in Vietnam. So now I have them put up and will hold onto them as well. Now I understand.

So today I told my dad I loved him, that I was still proud of him and am so grateful that he served in the military. It's amazing and difficult thing to do and obviously not very many can handle it. And when it comes down to it, whatever part of the military someone is in or how long they serve isn't the point. The point is, they served. They leave their families for months or years at a time and do what they have to for a country full of ungrateful and sometimes uncaring people. Who take our freedom and stomp all over it. But that doesn't stop all of our men and women for doing what they do. They lose their best friends, their family and their roomates everyday to some sort of violence. So please, remember to thank a veteran and a soldier today. Without them, we really wouldn't have anything and what we should have is a sense of pride for having complete strangers care so much for us :)

Things I Love

2009-11-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

Thank you Drahdrah for this new activity. It's nice to sit and focus on teh good stuff and not the bad :) You should head over and check out her blog and post and do one yourself :)

*I love hearing a baby laugh, it's the most beautiful sound in the world.

*I love listening to my husband's heart as we're cuddling, it reminds me that yes, my life is real.

*I love Autumn, it's chilly but it's so gorgeous and always smells differently than the other seasons.

*I love cuddling my kids, no matter how big or small they are, they seem to fit perfectly in my arms.

*I love my friends, with even a 4 or 5 word comment, they always bring a smile to my face.

*I love facebook, I'm an addict, haha.

*I love steamed asperagus with melted butter, Mmmmm...

*I love watching Spongebob Squarepants.

*I love ornery old people, they never make life dull and when they end up liking you, it's the biggest accomplishment for you and really says a lot about yoru people skills.

~Well that's my list for this week. tune in next week for another one! Thanks for stopping by!~
*Beckie*

Fragmented Friday

2009-11-06T04:01:00.000-08:00

It's that special time again!! Thank you Mrs.4444 I'm joining the fabulous Friday tradition yet again :)

*Today at noon begins the wonderful time honored tradition of deer hunting. Not only have we paid a guy to shoot us 4 deer, but my husband also got his license and is now going hunting for 2. While i understand that the (almost) free meat is amazing and lasts us forever, I lose my husband. I don't see his face until every deer is brought in. You'd think that would be a happy point, when I could see him yet again? Nope. It's not. Why? Because guess who gets to help gut and package the meat???

*I am so tired of my typing skills. Or lack thereof. I can type fast. It's great. But yet my THE is always teh and KNOW is always knwo. I tire of it. I love you spell check, for you are truly, my best friend and companion...

*We had beef with Abel's now ex-best friend. He decided to flood the husband's cell phone with disgusting insulting text messages declaring my kids, me, my MIL and dead grandpa-in-law horrid names. Then he tells Abel he never wants anything to do with us. Thank you Jesus (I never liked the guy) so here we are breathing lighter and having better days when we find out that this guy tried 3 different times to hack into hubby's voicemail and e-mail. I love that Verizon gives you the phone number of who was attempting to get into the voicemail, LoL. Loser...

*I'm in the middle of a pregnancy scare. Too bad when you pay for a vasectomy, they can't throw in a guarantee for free. Because it scares me. I don't want another child. I've chosen not to risk mine or another child's life. Or go through yet another miscarriage.

*I love that when I tell people I don't want anymore children and how if I were to end up pregnant I wouldn't know what to think, they call me a bad person. Hey, if I wasn't such a lousy child carrier or broke, I'd totally be up for being a Duggar-like family. But I'm a lousy child-carrier and I'm broke. Eat it.

*Oh we aren't done yet. We'll be adopting. Later. Very later in life. And not babies.

*My fish comforts me. He watches me when I'm on the computer. And follows my finger. Everywhere. I love him. I've secretly named him George. Hannah calls him Oreo. Who am I to argue with a 3 year old?

*I have a canker sore on my lip. It's driving me insane. Hey. It's random and it's a fragment. I win.

*This week has begun my life changing process. I'm up at 6 (or 4 today) and immediately put on the coffee for husband and do up any dishes left in the sink which aren't ever many as I do dishes right after dinner. Then I clean whatever needs cleaning up, start any laundry that needs done and then hop on here for about a half an hour. My day is open with nothing to do thanks to my new routine but I feel like a much better person and I have much more time to focus on the kids. The best part of my week and new routine is that I can get them both to sleep at the same time leaving me spare time to watch any tv shows that Abel dis-likes watching (I heart you Tivo!) or a nap myself. I'm a much happier person these days.

*I'm looking forward to November 20th like it was Christmas. My husband is taking me on a no kids date out of town to see two movies that are opening that day. The only movie I have ever seen on it's opening day was this last Harry Potter. I've never been on a date with no kids. Hannah was always young enough to take along or we've never had a babysitter. This. Could be the greatest day of my life. Seriously. (Psst the movies are Twilight and Blindside)

*I've been on a typing thing lately where my favorite words are PS and slash. Why type / when I could just write out slash and forget about it? Oh and my husband has put Yo into my vocabulary. Talk about 1990-gangster here, LoL. yes my name is Beckie and I am a dork. Eat it.

*Goodie season is upon us. 49 more shopping days until Christmas. Don't be surprised some of my bloggy friends when I jump onto your blog begging you to trust me with your address as I may have something for you. I love giving gifts to others. That's why I put us into debt every year at this time. It's worth it.

This concludes my Fragmented Friday! *Muah* Hope you enjoyed it :) Now go visit Mrs.4444 and do one yourself. It's quite fun :)
*Beckie*

Had To Do This :)

2009-11-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Here is the link to an amazing contest that I'm trying to win. I'll blog about to share it with everyone though. What is the giveaway about? Why, Mickey's Magical Christmas the movie of course!! I'm very hopeful that I can win this one. Hannah likes Mickey's Clubhouse on Disney so I'm pretty sure she'd like this too and I'm a secret closet Mickey fan, haha. Oh well...So go visit her and check it out!!

Tryingtostaycalm

PS--I Am Addicted To Spellcheck

2009-11-02T05:11:00.000-08:00

So happy November Second! LoL. I need something to celebrate. 3 months with holidays in each. I'm going to be really burned out on my birthday in January. LoL.

Halloween went great. It was so awesome to watch Hannah get all excited and running to each house to do her trick or treat. It was our first Halloween as Abel isn't crazy about it and is brainwashed that it's the celebrating of the devil or whatever. He isn't an extremist I promise you, I just have a long way of re-brainwashing him, LoL. His family didn't do any celebrating of any holidays. They were lazy and not real with it. So of course I reap the rewards of him not wanting to do much. We're working on that. He's come a long way from when we first got together, haha. He did have fun with Hannah. For some reason daddy was who she wanted coming with her, not mommy. And he was entertained by her excitement so it did go very well. And the kid loaded up on 4 bucketfuls of candy. So mommy and daddy are well stocked for awhile. We don't like her having too many sweets so we're really doing her a favor by eating her candy, LoL. I'm sure some of you saw my Facebook status: Is it child labor to make your child go begging for candy for 3 hours only to eat it myself? For real though...Is it? LoL.

My dad is back in the hospital again. This is day number 5. He went in last weekend to get checked out and whoever the traveling doctor was, was a twit. She sent him home on nothing but steroids. Umm steroids for pneumonia? Really? And you got your medical degree where...? So when dad went in again on Wednesday, he doesn't remember the entire day. Yet he drove to the doctor's office and saw the Dr and all that. Talk about scary. He's not really on the mend yet and called me yesterday freaking me out telling me he thinks the doctor thinks he is going to die. I don't do well with death talks and yet I get one every time he goes in to the hospital. This time was a little more real though because he was really bad. He still is. Double pneumonia and the flu on top of his normal COPD issues. I have this huge issue of anything can happen but not to us so when I think of the fact that lots of people die from just the flu, I still sit here and say not him. Never mind that he's going to be 69 this month. Or that he is in horrible health. I'm pretty selfish because I pray that God heals him and lets him come home again. Whereas I get sorta mad at Abel because he simply prays that God's will be done. And then he tells me that in all of dad's suffering don't I want him in peace? Ugh. Death. Hate it! Where is the dis-like button....?

I massively cleaned my house this weekend. Totally sucked but I did it. I have been spending too much time on the computer lately. It's because I'm bored and my kids are too good. Hannah plays in her room or on her new game or watches a movie. Ignacio. Well he still sleeps. A lot. So I get bored. Well in my boredness my house has fallen apart. And that bugs me. So I cleaned. And organized. And rearranged. It felt good. LoL. Now I'm aware that minus the fact that I have laundry to do. I have nothing to do. Oops! LoL. Maybe I'll read a book today. I'm giving myself a limit of time I can be on here. Break myself sorta. It's bad when you get to that point. LoL. Maybe I need a job? LoL. NO! Bad words! Never say that again!

OKay anyways, I'm running off. Coffee needs to be made for the husband and Hannah wants me to watch Spongebob with her so I'm going to jet. I've been up since 6 and it actually feels good. I slept too much yesterday night and didn't feel good. Sadness...I hope everyone has a wonderful week and hears only great news! Blessings to all and I'll blog another day!

My First Giveaway!

2009-10-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

In honor of me being full of love and loving my readers and maybe even trying to get more (hehehe) I've decided to pass along a freebie and call it a giveaway (See how sneaky I can be? hehehe)
You guys all know about the Snuggie blankets right? The blankets with arms so that you can answer your phone, change the channel on the TV and generally look goofy without having to be cold? LoL. Well here's a chance to get one free. All you have to do is complete the form (DO NOT fill in your phone number otherwise you'll never get it to work), wait about 6 weeks and then answer a quick e-mail form survey thingy on your new blanket. That's it. Pretty nice huh? Yes it is copmpletely free and no you do not have to pay shipping and handling. Free fifty free like my cousin would say...

http://suzzly.com/snuggiepromo.php

I don't know if any of you use online photo developing places. I use Snapfish.com personally but Kodak has a deal that you can win $15 worth of photos for free. The only bad part is while you get all the pictures free, you end up paying shipping and handling which ends up being $5. At least it was for me. But I did end up with 200 pictures for free and now I can catch up on my scrapbooking. If you don't want this, send the code you end up getting my way, I'll totally pay s&h for teh pictures and can always use more. If you do end up using it, good job!! Here's teh link for that as well:

http://kodak.promo.eprize.com/millionsofthanks/fetch_profile

Hope you are enjoying the weekend! Lots of love!

Yaaay! Swine Flu!

2009-10-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

So I went to Montana for a week and a half and came home with a case of H1N1. Heck of a souvenier right? LoL. It actually isn't too bad. It's a bad cold with a mix of nausea, no appetite, and a never ending fever. I've had a fever for about 2 days now. I hate fevers. Oh and to make matters worse? Good old Aunt Flo is here as well. After only 2 months that whore is already here? Grr...

Our trip to Montana went well. Minus this flu thing that is. I had a surprise baby shower thrown for me which was awesome. I ended up not seeing certain people which really made the trip. The kids were amazing! Hannah didn't throw a single fit and the drive over and back went perfect. I was shocked. And spending time with my girls was awesome. Makes me miss them now but not as bad as when we first moved out here.

My sister-in-law is in early labor. I'm so excited for my nephew to be here. They are moving up here in the spring and I can't wait. She's pretty cool and very easy to get along with.

MAn...I was planning on this being longer but I took out the time and caught up on everyone's blogs and my e-mails and now I'm a little dizzy so I'm jetting off. Forgive me all. I've missed you honest. I need a little healing time is all. Lots of love!

*Beckie*

Fabulous giveaway!

2009-10-05T16:41:00.001-07:00

My Little Pony: Twinkle Wish Adventure follows Pinkie Pie and her pony friends on a fun-filled adventure as they discover that friendship can make wishes come true.

Oh My Baby is hosting this giveaway and I think everyone who has or knows a little girl should enter for the chance to win it. It's easy and I did so you should too!

http://oh-my-baby-gifts.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-little-pony-twinkle-wish-adventure.html

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's Off To Montana We Go!

2009-10-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ahh a few moments to sit and check the e-mails, catch up on a few blogs, and of course do the myspace slash facebook thing. It won't be like this for the rest of the day or tomorrow for that matter. Lots to do and I really shouldn't be procrastinating about it but oh well. I'm a HUGE procrastinator. If you've been reading me for long, you know that. I can't help it I work better under pressure...

So Hannah's birthday party on Saturday went well. A few friends decided not to pay attention to the whole RSVP thing on the invite. I had ordered food for them just in case and bought the extra goody bags and goodies needed to cover all my guests only to find 4 of them hadn't shown up. Greeeat...Other than that it was good. Hannah got lots of goodies and gifts and was very excited to bring them home and spend two hours in her room completely destroying it but alas, having loads of fun. I hated cleaning my room when I was younger and now I'm back to cleaning up toys again. I'm trying to get her in the habit of picking up her toys before bed but she likes to sit and play and get distracted and then push bedtime farther away so it's not really working well. I have found though that I'm going to have to buy an animal net. That in itself would safe me a ton of cleaning. Ugh cleaning....

So now I get to spend today and tomorrow packing for our very anticipated trip to Montana. I'm pumped. I do miss the trees and mountains. North Dakota is very flat and pretty plain during most of the year I will admit. I still find it beautiful but thinking about Montana and gazing up around at the mountains and trees was gorgeous and makes my heart ache a little. I know Abel is very homesick as well so this is a much needed trip :) I love traveling.
So if you don't hear from me for about a week, have a great week ahead of time and I will make sure to blog when I get back. A few pictures as well. Until then!
*Beckie*

Rant & Rave Wednesday

2009-09-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Little Ms Blogger I've decided to do a Rant & Rave of my own. I was bored and wanted something to do while the kiddos were napping...

RANT: I hate that I've stopped losing weight. I totally should be doing my Billy Blanks right now but I'm too darn lazy. I really need to shed 50 more pounds.

RAVE: We are leaving for Montana in exactly one week! I am packing and making my lists already! I can not wait to go!

RANT: I'm so done with childish drama. Why is it that fully grown adults feel the needs to act more immature than actual children under the age of 12? I'm so tired of hearing about the she said and then she did this to her and then this happened, garbage. Ugh!

RANT: I'm so tired of parents who can't behave as such. Why do people have children if they can't be a parent? My daughter may not be perfect but at least I'm trying my best and not just letting her run around like a heathen. Discipline is a must when you are raising children. And so is the word no. Oh and a 3 year old wearing a diaper until it sags to her knees? Either potty train or get off your duff and change the diaper before it hits this point. Otherwise I may feel the need to strap you in a diaper that is duct taped to your hiney for a whole day to show you how it feels.

RAVE: My daughter is 3 as of tomorrow. She may grind my nerves some days but she is my precious baby girl forever and always. I spent 9 months being told the pregnancy was not viable and that I'd lose her at any moment but my baby girl held on and blessed us with her presence. And everyday on her birthday I thank God extra hard for allowing us such a gift. I miss the baby days but I love seeing her grow up and how awesome of a little person she is becoming more and more.

RANT: I despise the railroad for holding out on the last 7 guys that need to be hired back on. This layoff sucks and in exactly 2 more months, we will lose our health insurance if he doesn't get hired back on before this.

RANT: Why does it take a hospital 2 months to report that my son was born? I had to drive to our state capitol to get Ignacio's birth certificate and was told that as soon as the hospital calls in and reports that our son was born, they'd send us the certificate. never mind that I need it to get him on our insurance and needed it like 2 months ago when he was actually born...Still need his social security number and card too! Can't very well get that without the birth certificate. Does this mean my son doesn't exist?

RANT: Why does my rant list outnumber my raves?

RANT: Bad things happening to good people. Husband has excellent theory about it but I still can't help but grumble when good people suffer and the bad ones reap the rewards.

RAVE: I have an albino frog staring at me. A certain bloggy friend who is crazy about frogs made me think of her when buying fish for daughter. Luckily, daughter had same idea so we brought home Diego. He's albino. And crazy. And kinda cool. Except when you can see through his body and see his innards...

RAVE: Decided on my son's Hebrew name finally. Yitzhak Shmuel bar Rivkah. Which translated means Issac Samuel son of Rebecca. Abel sin't Jewish therfore he doesn't get a part in Ignacio's name. Now we just have to plan a trip to California for the actual ceremony. Hannah was named when she was 5 months old and her name is Hewbrew is Hannah Elisheva bat Rivka. Her name was easyily translated, Ignacio's? Not so much.

Forever!

2009-09-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

It has been forever! Maybe even years...Okay okay yes I'm ex...egg...stretching the truth...Kind of...
My computer has been a sore spot with me for awhile. This computer was given to us completely brand new. So I can't really complain. But I can. You see, the man who gave it to us? Was homosexual and very into porn and didn't do a good job of putting on a virus protector. So welcome viruses. I, am not that knowledgeable when it comes to computers so I stave off anything technical. There's my excuse.
A week ago my computer resorted to turning on, which took long enough for me to use the bathroom, find something to eat and fix it and then maybe be ready after that. Then I'd log into facebook and tada! It would freeze up. So my cheap butt finally walked my computer into the shop and told them what to do and walked out in a huff. I'm too cheap to have it fixed you see. Had I not been, this computer would have never gotten so bad and it would been done a few months ago. Most of my friends didn't believe me when I'd pop off facebook suddenly or tell them that my chat wasn't working. Seriously though? It wasn't. I'd never get to farm and hence why I gave it up and my chat sucks. Pardon me. SuckED. Past tense.
So now, today I got to pick it up. It almost was like greeting a long lost relative. Except more exciting. Haha. It had 3 Trojan viruses on it along with so many more little viruses that I was operating on half a gigabyte or megabyte o whatever it is that they call it. I was lucky my computer even turned on is what I was told. Yay. So they wiped out the whole thing and re-put everything back on along with an extra fligagigamegaramabyte and a half of memory so it will run faster and they even put on a few virus defender thingies so I won't get anymore viruses. HAH! Watch me...LoL.
In the meantime, I had Abel's wonderful aunt come from Seattle to visit for a week. She cleaned my house, cooked for me and dealt with Hannah the whole time. Talk about amazing rest and relaxation. In that time, my husband ventured off and we got a vasectomy. Yes, we. I get to suffer his healing time, care for him and am dealing with the emotions of never having children again. Oh and now I have a love...No, excuse me, loathing for our insurance company as well. I'm so confused as to why a insurance company would be willing to pay the couple thousand dollars to have my tubes tied and not pay for my husband's $800 vasectomy? I was talking to them the day it was done and they told me they wouldn't cover it unless it was a matter of life or death. Dirty *(%^&$%8...So whatever I told hubby and Dr to just do it and we'll pay for it on our own and hubby can count this as a early birthday present. LoL. My emotions are doing fine actually. It's just unreal yet. I know I'll hate it in another two years when baby fever hits but then we'll adopt. I'm thinking of fostering for older kids and adopting later on in a few years. I always feel bad hearing about older kids who hit 16 and no one wants them because everyone wants babies and toddlers so maybe I'll be that one rare person to give them a home when no one else will. Call me Angelina won't you?
I've been enjoying my time without my favorite addiction reading. What amazing reads I've stumbled upon. I'm into Chic Lit mind you. And searching for amazing authors. If you are too, check out Jennifer Weiner. Never mind how I pronounce her last name...She's amazing though. Her book that I just finished, Good In Bed is all about me. Without the ex-who-dumped-me-right-before-I-found-out-I-was-knocked-up theme. Well actually there are many parts in there that aren't me but the main character is just like me it's scary. I may write this author and ask to star in the movie...By the way, she wrote the book that inspired the movie In Her Shoes. I'm reading that one right now too. LoL. I'm addicted.
Gifts given to me always make me feel guilty. Just so you all know. But. Me sending gifts make me feel on top of the world and quite amazing. I've had a certain little pink gift here waiting to get sent off to a special friend of mine and every time I looked at it I'd get giddy and giggle and smile. I had to wait for my computer so I could get the address and send it off. I'm so retarded I leave all my addresses on my computer and don't put them anywhere else. I'm now in the process of collecting them and transferring them to other sources, LoL. I hit the jackpot though. I bought a movie, Twilight to be exact (melting...melting...melting) and got two copies for the price of one! Talk about exciting. My luck is always backwards where I usually pay for one and get none so this was quite unexpected. So I had to pass it on to someone who would enjoy it just as much as I would and who needed a few goodies as well. Shopping for others gives me a high unlike any drug I swear...
Biggest Loser and Survivor are on again! Yes, I'm a reality TV bum. I'm trying to backtrack and watch Grey's Anatomy so I can be caught up on this season but my reality shows come first. the best part? I have my dad addicted as well! Score! Can you imagine a 70 year old man watching Biggest Loser or Survivor? LoL. It's hilarious. You walk by my house and can hear both of us screaming at the people on the TV. No we haven't realized that they can't hear us yet. Darn them for not listening...
My Hannah~Bug will be 3 in only 3 more days. It makes me sad because she has grown up so much in the last two months. We're doing her party on Saturday and I'm pretty excited for it. A little Princess party. I didn't get her much because she has been spoiled rotten these few months. So she is getting a Princess papoose chair for her room. I also bought her adorable birthday outfit complete with shoes that she'll wear to the party. Pictures will come I promise. My little girl...
Ignacio is doing great. He's finally smiling tons now. He's such a serious baby. Quiet but serious. Today I finally got him to break down and smile big and quite a few times. He's so handsome. I'm in love. Over and over again.
We got the greatest news in such a long time too. I will again disappear in a week and a half for about a week or so. We are heading back to Montana for a visit. I'm excited to see my friends again. It's actually half and half. A few friends have had nothing to do with me and I know we'll get over there and hear nothing but how much they've missed us. But then we'll come home again and it'll go back to how it was before. So I kinda don't even want to bother seeing them you know? I'm trying to gain access to the car while hubby goes and does a weekend job with my cousin too. I have a special friend in Montana who I want to desperately meet up with. So if she's reading this (you know who you are!) I'm trying hard I promise!!!
And this for now is it. I'm off to deal with fuss butt in his swing. Why oh why does he not like this dang swing!?!? And to check my e-mail. I will catch up on blogs a little bit later. Soo much has gone on since I've been gone, it's almost overwhelming!
Lots of love and hugs to everyone!! I've missed you!!
*Beckie*

One Month Down...

2009-09-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

Today marks Ignacio as being 1 month old already. It didn't seem as if time had been moving fast but now that I look at it, it has definitely flown by. Which makes me sad because he will be a year old in no time. Not that I don't want to see the wonderful little guy my son will be turning into, I just really enjoy the baby days and know that it will be the first year that I will miss the most.
Everything is going great here. Hannah has been going to daycare for a week now. She only goes twice a week for about 5 hours each time but she loves it and I have to admit. It really is nice to have a small break. She's one of those kids who is quite busy and never slows down and these days, I just don't have the energy to keep up with her. So her being at daycare with other kids definitely helps. She's going through an adjustment phase there which is normal but I hope she passes through it fast. I don't like hearing that my kid is the one who has been hitting other kids. I can't help it that she hasn't had much interaction with other kids her own age. I'm glad I did this as next year she'll be in Head Start and we don't want her getting in trouble there.
I didn't buy a stroller because I never used one with Hannah and having Ignacio so close to winter, I didn't think I'd get that much use out of it. Boy was I wrong. A good friend of mine lent me her new stroller as she has two of them and now I get to go for walks. Last night was the first one and it was great. It was both Abel and I and then the kids. We both enjoyed it and Hannah was ecstatic to be out in the fresh air running around. We stopped for ice cream even! I love me some root beer floats! It was really nice though because Abel was along with us which will be rare once he goes back to work on the railroad. And I felt like my normal mommy self just with more happiness. It feels weird. now that i have two kids I finally feel like a mommy. When it was just Hannah and I, I didn't really ever feel like an actual mom. I know it sounds stupid huh? I'm messed up, I admit it, LoL.
Hannah's birthday is coming around the corner. My baby girl is turning 3 on the 1st of October. I love it because it brings the terrible twos closer to being at an end but then again I hate it because she's getting older on me, LoL. I have issues with kids getting older can you tell? Well anyways, she's very excited because she picked out her own invitations and decorations for the party (Disney Princess of course) and we know that finally this year will bring about actual excitement for her. She understands what is going on for once. We haven't really decided on what to get her. We got her a really cute princess papoose chair so far and then we are looking for a big gift. We always do a small gift and a big gift. I'm thinking a dollhouse. She's turning girly slowly but surely, LoL.
So I'm really excited for next week to come. Abel's aunt from Seattle is driving over to spend a week with us. I'm really lonely for family right now so this is a really big ray of sunlight to me. My mom's reason for not coming up when I had the baby was because she couldn't take any vacation time off and didn't have any money to go anywhere. So yesterday? She and Teri took off to go drive up to San Fransisco to spend a week up there with Teri's kid and grandbaby. It's really funny because I'm the only one out of their 4 shared children that have not had a visit whatsoever. I'm so butt-hurt and pouty it's unbelievable. I'm envious of anyone who has a great bond with their mother. You know that fabulous "we're more than mother and daughter-we're best friends" kind of relationship? Yeah I wish I had one of those. But alas, I do have a small blessing. Abel's parents want to come move up to be nearer to us. They are talking next year of retiring and coming up. My mother-in-law is amazing and loves me to pieces so I'm thankful that while my mother isn't what I need, I at least have a mother in law who tries :)
Well folks, I think this is a good catch up for me. I need to get going and clean my house, bathe the baby, eat something, and get stuff ready for tomorrow. We're leaving at like 5 in the morning to drive 2 hours away to Bismarck to do a whole day of "Pow-Wowing" which is actually a day of garage and rummage sales. I love me some garage sales, LoL. So I hope everyone out there is having a fabulous day and that your weekend goes amazing! I will blog again :)

*Beckie*

~*~*~*~ONE MONTH~*~*~*~

A mermaid or a whale?

2009-09-01T17:34:00.000-07:00

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

"THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them. Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I'd rather be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my grandkids, a good dinner with my husband and a coffee/lunch with my friends.

With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good gosh, look how smart I am.

I Heart Baths

2009-08-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

So my excitement of the day comes from the arrival of an infant tub. Sad isn't it? Well, my son has had a total of about 5 baths since coming home 2 weeks ago. Why so few? Because somehow I managed to forget that babies are slippery when wet. I almost dropped my son twice and since then I swore off baths until I was allowed to purchase a bathtub. And it came in the mail today. I bought the cheapest one I could find via walmart.com and waited patiently. It's pretty cute and simple to use which is always good for me. And it's a whale. So my son had a great bath today. He didn't cry or anything.
I sorta blew up on the husband last night. I'm trying not to get down with the baby blues but so far I'm only halfway winning that battle. Meanwhile I'm hearing fat comments from my father and both men are always telling me how I'm holding Ignacio too much and how I let Hannah get away with everything and not spending enough time with her. I could think of other things but I don't want my list to overtake the blog...Ignacio's belly button was bleeding last night and since he lost his stump like last week, I got worried and took him into the hospital just to get it looked at. The nurses didn't charge me for the visit, they are too great to me so there wasn't any harm done but my husband told me how I'm over-reacting and needed to just chill out. So my over hormonal self popped off with "when you are done criticizing the way I raise my children, you are more than welcome to take over and deal with them yourself, in the meantime since I carried them in my body for 9 months a piece and then popped them out in two very painful ways, I'm the one who gets to be the parent and that includes being concerned over them." Then as I was dressing Ignacio I was also muttering something about how just because his parents didn't care enough to take them to the doctors or dentists or anything like that, my kids aren't going to be punished. Now that I look at it I'm shocked at my behavior but seriously? Something could have been wrong. Just because it wasn't, doesn't mean anything. Hannah didn't have this go on with her so of course I was worried. I couldn't look at it and go "Well this happened with Hannah and it wasn't a big deal so I think we're good." I wish.
I went out to the grocery store yesterday. Second time out of the house since I've been home. I need to get out more. I know it will help me feel better. I am looking for a stroller so I can take Ignacio with me and go walking. He really is spoiled and I proudly declare him spoiled. He doesn't like being put down but he's my last baby. Abel is getting snipped so I'm holding him and enjoying every minute of the baby stage as possible. Soon he'll be too cool for mom and loving the girls instead of me. Hannah already doesn't like cuddling me as it is. She'll cuddle daddy and papa but not me. So one of my kids better love on me darn it.
Other than that nothing else going on with us. Ignacio is going on 3 weeks now. And Hannah has a month left before turning 3. I'm hoping to do a small party for her in the theme of the My Little Ponies. She likes them all of a sudden. Which is fine. Anything but Barbies *rolls eyes*. LoL.
Anyways, My husband is going to be home soon so I better get dinner started. We did 10 jars of canning today. Pickles, yummy. I'm going to be doing jam soon. That's what I love doing. Easy and ever so yummy!
I hope everyone is doing well. Do you like my new blog look by the way? I even found a matching button but I'm not sure I'll be using it or not just yet. I'd hae to have to mess with that one again, LoL. We'll see...Anyways, Have a fabulous weekend everyone! I'll blog another day!
*Beckie*

Ignacio's Photos (Finally!)

2009-08-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Ahh pictures finally....

The Lost Art Of Blogging

2009-08-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

Do you know how it saddens me that I haven't been on the computer in years?!? Today I feel like I've accomplished so much and just had to jump on here finally to get back in touch with the world again. It's amazing what a simple shower and a trip to the doctors will make you do, haha.
I got my staples taken out today. They weren't supposed to be taken out until Thursday but they were tearing my skin to crap and hurt so I went in early. My belly feels so good now. I can actually stand up tall, yay! And of course a shower doesn't hurt either. In the past two days I have been spit up on, peed on and pooped on too many times to count so showers are fabulous. And I enjoy griping about the whole breastfeeding thing too so beware. I love that it's free and semi-convenient and good for the baby and all but oh my gosh my boobs feel as if they have been ran over by a combine!! And that's only when the milk lets down or whatever it is they call it. I won't even begin to whine about the amount of pain I feel when he latches on lately. Ugh!! He latches great it's just pain!! LoL. Yeaaah....
Anyways, so Ignacio is a week old today. Everything is going great. Minus the fact that he will not sleep which is my fault. When I put him in the bassinet he won't sleep, he'll start fussing but he will curl into a ball on his tummy on my chest and sleep fabulously. Last night he woke up once to eat and that was it. My boobs were a size GG this morning and killing me so I had to wake him to eat but yeah, I got to sleep reeeal good last night, LoL.
Hannah loves Ignacio, she doesn't give him much attention until he starts crying which then she runs directly to me, tells me "baby caca and crying and then runs back to Ignacio and starts telling him to calm down, LoL. She thinks that everytime he cries, he pooped. We got a new bed for her as her old one she peed in one too many times and mommy was too lazy to get on the ball and order waterproof sheets. But she likes the new bed and as we downgraded to a toddler again, it gives her more room in her room.
Hmm what else..Oh yeah! So the c-section, haha. I must catch you up right? Right. So I have to say, the c-section was perfect. Not kidding. I went in at 6:30am with all my bags and stuff and got into the labor and delivery room and put immediately on monitors as they began having me sign forms and they attempted to put in an IV. I say attempted because the nurses stabbed me like 4 times before they had the anesthesiologist came in and got me on the first try. I swear that was the worst part of it all. Anyways, I made sure they were giving me a spinal block and not the epidural (Thank you Stephanie!!) They took Abel away and wheeled me into the operating room. Once Abel left me and I got in there I started to tear up and cry a little. It overwhelmed me and not having Abel there was hard. So then I got up on the table and shoved my face into one of the nurses shoulders as they shot up some numbing stuff into my back which didn't hurt shockingly. Then they put in the spinal and I didn't feel it at all. As soon as she took out the needle my legs were going numb. I had 6 nurses lifting my fat butt onto that table and putting me into position. My fat moment of my life by the way. You never feel fat until your lower part of your body is numb and you can't move at all and you see 6 nurses having to move you. Crazy oh my goodness! LoL. My hand touched my butt at one point and it was gross which I can't really say why, it just was weird...Anyways so I'm proud because I didn't freak out or panic like they said I would. They told me that my chest would get heavy and possibly make it harder to breath and that's what most people freak out but I never felt my chest go heavy. My body went hot all of a sudden at one point and I begged them to fan me and get me some oxygen and once I had some air on, everything was great again. Abel came back in and they started opening me up. Abel was camera happy and watching the whole thing and narrating as well. Let me tell you what, watching Abel giggle and tell me that "Hey it looks like they broke your w---HOLY CRAP YOU"RE PEEING OUT YOUR BELLY!" Yeah that does wonders to calm a person down, LoL. He was having a blast while I was bored out of my mind waiting to hear Ignacio's cry. I'm not all that emotional. And I admit with Hannah, I was accused as being cold hearted. They put Hannah on my chest right as soon as she came out and I wigged out and told them to clean her off before they give her to me. I can't help it and honest to God wasn't being cold hearted or a horrible mother. She was covered in blood and guck and yucky stuff. I don't do touching guck. I'm horrible I know...Anyways so as soon as I heard Ignacio's cry I started bawling and wanted to see him sooo bad. They took him to clean him and all that and then brought him back to me and I was soo happy. I was practically upside down but loved looking at him. It took about 20 minutes to finish sewing me back up. I was so bored and when I was asked how I was doing, I made them laugh because I asked if they were done yet and how I should have brought my book with me, LoL.
To make the rest a short story, as it wasn't too interesting, I refused my meds which they prescribed morphine. I don't do meds. I did however break down and take 3 Ibuprofens though. Yes it hurt to move around at first but I don't do meds so I didn't want anything. It was manageable. And two days later, I left the hospital to come home. They wanted me to stay the whole week and yes I love being waited on but man, I wanted home. Where for the past few days I have sat in a comfy lazyboy recliner getting yelled at for even going potty as the two men here are sissys and nags. My house is a disaster because men can't clean well for some reason and it's irking me. I don't have OCD but when it comes to my house and cleanliness it makes me freak out when it's a mess. I can't lift anything over 10 pounds for the next 4 weeks so that leaves out laundry and vacuuming. Which need done sooo bad. Ugh I need a maid...
So that's that. I'd love to post pictures right now but my son has decided to wake up so I must cut this short and run. I promise to post some pics within the next few days. Hopefully tomorrow :)
I miss you all and miss getting on here more often! We got Tivo today so now I have something to occupy me at nighttime and while he eats, LoL. So I'm not completely shut off from technology thank goodness.
Hope everyone has a great week! I'm off to feed the kid and will be on again soon! Love to all you all!

*Beckie*

Home Again

2009-08-12T15:05:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
This will be super short as it is really hot, I'm not used to sitting in a chair for long periods of time yet and well, I'm still a bit lazy yet. LoL.
Everything went amazing. Not kidding. I will post more of a blog about it tomorrow along with photos but everything is going amazing and of course I have a beautiful little boy who everytime I hold or even look at I start tearing up and praising God for my miracle.
We just got a bit ago and I'm still taking it easy. Never knew how much I used my abdominal muscles oh my goodness!
So thank you everyoen for the prayers and good wishes :) I am going to go lay down now. I do have a link here forgive me for not making it clickable. I'm sore and lazy :) But it's the hospital page for the boy. With the stats and a photo. The picture is a bad one as it was in between crying and they didn't do a decent angle. LoL. But he's still cute. And his name is Ignacio, they spelled it wrong, haha. Good old North Dakotans...
Okay forgive me for parting so early. More tomorrow! Lots of love from us!

*Beckie*

http://www.staloisius.com/Ignaciag.htm

Birth Day

2009-08-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

So as of Monday the 10th (tomorrow) at 8:00am I will be in a surgical room getting my tummy split open and having a little boy pulled out of my tummy. Yay!! LoL. It's 10:30pm right now. Am I nervous? Not really. As long as I don't focus on it, I'm doing well. I'm not scared anymore but I am sooo sure that will change once I get into that room and they tell me "Okay lets' get in that spinal block now". Ugh. Oh well. So forgive me ahead of time for not being on here for a few days, I'm sure you will understand LoL. They say I won't be out until Thursday morning so a few days after I get home and get used to a semi-sort of routine, I will pop on, post pictures and a blog and tell ya alllll about it!
Love to you all!!

*Beckie*

Friday Fragments

2009-08-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

Or rather, my attempt at it. If you want to also do this special weekly thing, head over to http://www.halfpastkissintime.com/ To sign up and find out how to!

~*~I've never known some brutality to occur while getting checked. If there was a second place for "What I dis-like about pregnancy" it would be the vaginal exams. Especially if your nurse is a woman. Shouldn't she be tender and understanding and not try too rip you apart from the inside? Or maybe I got the luck of the draw by having Rambo's missus as my nurse...

~*~Watching The Today Show today and this is what they cover on news nowadays?? No, no, this is what they come out with for children!?!? Oh dear...http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32314995/ns/today-parenting_and_family/?gt1=43001 I'm honestly speechless, a bit scared and yet kinda concerned that I have no known feelings on this yet. I'm puzzled...

~*~Why is it that it rains for exactly 20 minutes, looks as if it is going to storm badly and the moment I smile about it and thank God, the sun pops out on me? Yes, yes, I admit, I tend to harbor a secret love for the rain. Although, one weird fact about me? I can not stand to get wet or be out in the rain at all! No idea why either....

~*~I need a pedicure. Badly. Realizing I may never get one. And if I could would I be willing for someone to touch my toes? They are that disgusting. I have my great-grandmother's toes you know...No really, they are hiding in a jar in my closet...Kidding, kidding...

~*~Our new dog, Katy, she is the sweetest and calmest dog I've ever met. We found out fast though she is quite the guard dog. I never knew something so cute and so small to be so lethal...

~*~This has been my attempt at the Friday Fragments. Maybe I'll be better next week. Or maybe I sorta entertained you a small portion. That would be swell!

*Beckie*

Time??

2009-08-06T02:08:00.000-07:00

So I pretty much feel like an idiot even though everyone is glad I went in. Whatever this crap is about a woman in tune to her body obviously didn't know about me. So yesterday morning, I woke up puking and having contractions so I thought I was in labor and sorta got scared. Abel was at work so I bailed out leaving Hannah and my dad (who was white as a sheet and freaked out way more than I was) here at home and drove off to get Abel at work. Thankfully his location is only about 3 blocks from the house. Praise God for small blessings. I walked in looking like crap (yes, yes I know in the time of things like this, vanity is not acceptable but being in sweats and a midriff showing shirt and not even brushing my hair or teeth, made me feel like trash, ugh!) and every man in that depot must have jumped 6 feet out of his chair and shoved Abel in 3 different directions telling him "It's time! Go! Run!" LoL. What is it with men and panicking for labor? At least I got free entertainment.
So off to the hospital we were. Dr had been called and notified and so when I got there they were all ready and moved me into the delivery room. There were 2 surgeries planned for the day that got postponed because of me which made me feel bad. I'm sure the guy who was about to receive a colonoscopy wasn't feeling too bad about it though...
Long story short, I spent all day in there hearing about how we were doing the c-section, and then how we weren't and then how we should and then how we weren't. Everything died down, I'm not dilated or even effaced yet so they didn't think it was necessary. My nurse was fighting against it, doctor wanted it done and out of the way and I? Was so nervous and a little freaked out I wasn't sure of my name let alone what I wanted to do. So all in all, I go in Friday to be monitored all day then have an appt again on Monday with Doc. Hopefully I last until then which neither nurse nor doc think I will.
Both I and Hannah seem to have insomnia as we are both up and it's 4:30am and she's watching cartoons with my dad in the living room and I'm finishing this up. I'm going to go upstairs and pop on some Friends and hope that I can steal some sleep.
The benefit of this all? Baby is trying to turn and they think that is what is causing my "discomfort" (Male doctors psssh) and contractions. And I'm bedrest now. Dad and Abel are cooking and cleaning and doing everything and I get to lounge in the new and so very comfy recliner, reading my books. I'm enjoying every second of it and fully taking advantage of it because this? Will never happen again. LoL. When will I ever get to lounge and read with 2 kids and a house to take care of? Yeeeaah...
Now my vent of the day...I got to talk to one of my best friends from back home two days ago and you know, moving here was so not a bad idea at all. Among other things, it got me away from the drama of my other "friends" which is soo nice to be away from. I didn't realize how sucked into it I had gotten until I heard a piece of news that got me all riled up and I know that you know, maybe losing some friends and growing apart from people isn't such a horrid thing. I still talk to a few people from over there and have my best friend whom I have only gotten closer with so life isn't all bad. But I would fully appreciate people being upfront and honest for once in their freaking life! How difficult can it possibly be? For real!?! That's why I love my bloggy friends ever so much. Y'all aren't scared to share your honest opinions and feelings. THANK YOU! And you aren't low on brain cells either which is always a plus, LoL. When I have to hear through someone else how someone is judging me because they don't agree with how I'm delivering this child, it pisses me off! Like I sat down at the doctor's office begging and pleading with him to give me a c-section?!? Like I haven't been whining and complaining about having this done and praying my kid would just turn so I could endure the 14 hours of labor!?!? I mean it would be awesome to go through a delivery of a child butt first but hey I'm lazy and a horrid person who would rather slice open my tummy and have him pulled out the easy way right? Somedays, humanity terrifies me...Anyways, there's my vent of the day. Hope you didn't mind that one.
Anyways, I may be slightly absent from the internet. It was weird not being on all day yesterday and not even getting the "craving" to get on. Weirdness...
Ahh so I'm thinking of all my friends today and thought you should be updated on what's going down so far. I can't wait for all this to be done and can't wait to come home and show you pictures of this kid. I hope he looks like me. Hannah looks just like Abel and is all about daddy so I'm excited over at least one kid liking me. For awhile that is, LoL.
Much love to you all!!

*Beckie*

It's Friday!

2009-07-31T11:34:00.000-07:00

Ahh I was going to attempt a Fragment Friday but I think I will procrastinate and do that next week...Maybe...
I did though want to share some photos with you all. I have more coming but these are my favorites so far. The belly photos haven't done much justice as they make my belly look cute but not really show off my fat ass enough and we all know that everyone needs to see how big I've gotten. I need a wide load sign and some beep-beep noises, LoL. My thighs and hips aren't my friends right now....The last photos of the family of 3 :( The next set of pictures you'll see is of a family of 4, awww.
I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend, mine is going to be busy thankfully. And I shall jabber a new blog on a different day! Enjoy!!
*Beckie*

~~Hannah~Bug~~

~~Family shot with attitude~~

~~Always wanted a photo like this~~

~~One more family shot~~

~~And my favorite ever~~

4 Signs Of Labor....

2009-07-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

• It suddenly looks like somebody coughed up a big loogie into your undies.

• Your lower back feels like someone is pressing gently on it with a jackhammer.

• The movie version of your underwear would be called A River Runs Through It.

• You have a sudden desire to clean the house despite being doubled over in pain from contractions.

Completely Random.

2009-07-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

And for once, I'm not being sarcastic. Today my hormones have put me in a mushy and ecstatic sort of mood. Abel left last night to drive to Portal, Canada to stay over night and then pick up a train and drive it back here to homebase. So after he left I set my restaurant up and went to do two loads of dishes (Thank you a billion times a billion to whoever invented the dishwasher!!) And did my laundry. Then I actually sat down and folded and put it away as I watched Mama Mia (Fabulous movie btw! One of my faves) That in itself is shocking but just the fact that I was nesting was driving me insane. How do I know I was nesting and not just bored? I lugged Hannah's kitchen set up to her room and then set to cleaning and organizing that mess as well. Then I balanced my check-book, figured out what bills are going to get paid on payday in a few days (loving my budget!) and then laid in bed reading my book until I fell asleep. I only woke up twice to pee last night which is great minus the pain of getting up and laying down. Literal pain. My pelvis area hurts so much anymore. It only hurts when I go to sleep laying down. When I'm up and moving around it's fine. So I'm very much so looking forward to the 19th which is in exactly 3 weeks mind you. Oh and an even better surprise for today? I won that Zapi from Shauna's giveaway blog! Yay!! No more germies. Ugh I hate germs. I switch my toothbrush out to a brand new one if it even falls on the floor. I realize that while I may kiss my husband and daughter and yes while my daughter did come from my own body, if they put my brush in their grubby mouths, it's gone. Just can not do that. And my last bit of greatness came form paypal. I've been ordering clothes on myspace as I'm finding baby clothes for $1 a piece and they are in brand new condition. It's like a virtual garage sale for me and it really helps save a few pennies. Well I fell in love with an outfit and have been battling this lady for two months. I paid and she never sent so i filed a claim with paypal and was awarded my money today. Yay! Well as I didn't have bassinet sheets yet and was stressing on that, I got to go and buy 2 blue sheets and am now feeling pretty good about it. There's still a few odds and ends I need before this kid comes out in a few weeks but I have a feeling I'll be fine. Oh and I've decided to not paragraph my blog today. Leave one thing messy for once. Everything else in this house is clean and organized why bother with this?? LoL. piece of randomness for you. I haven't worn a bra in two days. I feel like such a rebel. Might as well enjoy the last remaining freedom these ladies will see for a few months. Haha! I bought a baby bottle the other day. A soothie one. I love the soothie brand. And I'd love to sit here and say ok we're going to breastfeed this kid no matter what and do it right this time but secretly I bought this bottle as a just in case thing. In case I dry up again. In case it doesn't work. In case I change my mind sort of thing. My mother gave me sooo much grief over it but oh well. I pretty much don't care. LoL. I love those sort of days. I found out my best friend from Nebraska is pregnant again. She and her hubby have been trying for over a year to get pregnant and have ended up with 3 miscarriages so far. They are my kids' god-parents and we've been besties since forever. And I've been through the same thing as her so when she gets pregnant it feels like I am too. So I've been praying this time it sticks and works out and they get to have a baby soon. It was hard going through my own miscarriages but to watch my best friend go through it and not be able to take away the pain? It's so hard! And why is it that when it happens, even though I've been there, I never know what to say? I get so mad and tell myself that I should know what to say to help. I should be able to say something comforting...Oh dear my daughter is singing along to the Kidz Bop commercials...Hannah came down with the flu the other day. She's been taught to throw up in the potty as mommy can't handle puke without losing it herself. I'm proud of her for being able to do that. She threw up once and then was totally fine minus the not eating for two days straight and the constant fever. Now I pray I don't get it because I always end up with the worst case of it ever and am miserable enough without the flu. Abel has only 12 more days until layoff time! Soo nervous about that. I hope they hire everyone back fast so he can get back on quickly. I have gotten used to paychecks again and it's so nice to pay my bills for once. My bill collectors are being so nice and haven't called me in over a month! I don't know whether to feel abandoned or relieved? Well anyways, I need to go fold another load of laundry and attempt to sort some socks now. Watching 27 Dresses today. Decent movie...So I hope everyone's day is going well too. Excuse my random babble here. Love to everyone!!

*Beckie*

Yup, I'ma Bad American!

2009-07-28T12:58:00.001-07:00

So my dad, the ever so wonderful addict of forwarding e-mails even though we live in the same house, has once again sent an interesting e-mail to me. Not only did I find it humorous in some areas, but I also found some of it true. Most of all I thought that instead of forwarding it and adding to the tearing down of virtual trees, I'd just post it and let the world (or rather my small community of followers) check it out. What can I say? Not enough to occupy my day...LoL. You'll see that I added in notes. This is how I think when I read stuff. I always add in notes in my head or narrate in some odd way. I'm odd. I hope you love me still after you find out just how odd I really am...
Oh and by the way, a HUGE Happy Birthday goes out to miss Tiney! I can't figure out how to comment on your blog, hence me being absent with my comments for awhile so hopefully this will be just as good!
And please remember when reading this, I don't ride nor own nor care for Harley Davidson motorcycles, LoL. This was obviously written by a man but with notes thrown in by me.

I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare.
(Can't even begin to tell you what this means so now you all know how politically ignorant I am)

I am an American.
(Pretty much, yep)

I am a Master Mason and believe in God.
(I don't think I am and yes)

I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American products.
(No I don't. I don't even sit on those 2-wheeled nightmares!)

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
(Yeah so someone tell that damn FICA guy to keep his grubby hands off my money!)

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
(And yet people say I'm bitchy or emotional because of this...)

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
(Unless you have pretty daughters, then you could easily turn into a killer)

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
(Yeah I can say that if you feel "owed" anything, you pretty much suck. Unless you're talking about those tax returns in which NO ONE ever gets back what they are owed)

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
(Please don't limit this to just hamburgers. Grocery stores. Gas stations. Video rental stores. Applebees. Thanks)

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
(For sure)

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson that makes the Awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
(Can't do without that famous swagger, a baseball, the drink or a two-wheeled nightmare can we?)

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
(I do. And I don't. Unless you were a victim of the layoffs and then treated worse than the druggies and lazies who've lived off welfare all their lives just because they are lazy. I don't pity them but rather growl and slash out at them. Hence why I'm housebound. Sometimes I'm not allowed outside...)

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
(It's just as bad as soap operas...)

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
(Yes please. Oh and don't mind the midget Ethiopians in my basement. They err, enjoy making those sweaters and never sleeping or eating...)

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!
(I would but I don't know where I come from. Is Montana it's own country yet?)

This is AMERICA! We like it the way it is!
(Some days...)

If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
(Fine then! Wait, socialist whatta?)

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
(Yeaaah...How DOES he do that?!?)

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
(I just wish they would quit targeting me. Dirty goyim...)

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license.
(Actually....)

And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
(Yes actually I am)

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
(Hah! I'm the moron who voted for the other guy and then did eeny meeny miney moe for the rest of the subjects. I had no clue who everyone was. Like I said before, I'm politically ignorant. And really, does my ONE vote matter THAT much?)

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. Get a job and do your part!
(They don't sell stuff in my street. They e-mail me or call me...)

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
(Thank goodness for that, some parents terrify me and if my kid is going to get messed up, I'd like all the blame to go to me)

I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
(Unless you claim to be insane and can talk to yourself cleverly then they let you go)

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
(Oops! Better take down my communist pride flag....)

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
(I'm a horrid American with no intellect)

Weeeeellll.......

2009-07-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

A HUGE thank you shout out right now to Miss Gucci Mama! (Stephanie) I got a long letter a few days ago telling everything she had gone through with both babies' births which were c-sections. I got pros cons and the absolute nitty gritty truth. I'm one of those people who needs to know beforehand exactly what is going to happen. I need to be prepared. Which can be a bad thing and make me freak out but it's a risk I'm always willing to take. At least I know what will happen.
So I once again ventured out to the doctor's office today for my weekly appointment. My morning had been shot to hell already so why not take a trip there as well? LoL. I woke up to a cranky little girl. I blew her off, put on Dora and Diego and let her sit and watch cartoons for a bit. She told me she was hungry which was great as she hasn't eaten anything since breakfast yesterday morning. So I made us both cheesy eggs and when I had to fight her for 20 minutes because she refused to eat it made me angry. I worry about her not eating and then stress because I HATE throwing food out. So I told her that's what she'd eat for lunch and threw it in the fridge. Grumpy as all get up I went upstairs to get dressed and all of a sudden I hear my dad hollering at me to get downstairs so I threw on a random shirt and ran down to see what was going on and here my baby girl is puking up orange juice and crying. She didn't quite make it to the potty (I taught her early that mommy doesn't do puke at all and we do it in the potty so mommy doesn't have to clean it or see it). So I felt like bawling because I felt so bad and I cuddled her and gave her some seven up and made her a cute little bed on the couch for her to lay down. Secretly I love when she doesn't feel good because she wants me to cuddle her and rub her feet so it's pretty much Heaven for me. But during all of this my guilty conscience was screaming YOU'RE A HORRID MOTHER!! This would explain why she didn't want to eat...I feel so bad so she'll be pampered today and eat up every minute of it, LoL.
Meanwhile at the doctor's office I find out that yes Ignacio is being a stubborn brat and won't turn. He had turned on Saturday but went right back yesterday. But we talked about the c-section and I have only a teensy bit of nervousness left. I got my fears calmed down and my worries and wants out and acknowledged. I have a Soothie bottle that I bought a few days ago as I'm a lover of soothies and I told Dr that I don't want ANY bottles given to Nacio. When I had Hannah they ignored my anti-bottle wishes and fed her out of a bottle anyways and caused our issues with breastfeeding and the ever wonderful nipple confusion. I don't want to deal with that again...And I also requested baby be with me as soon as my tummy is closed up and come to find out my Dr is a big advocate of having baby with mommy as soon as the last stitch is in place. Sweet! So this is turning out to be a better deal than I thought. Oh and yes, the flu is going around. Greeeeat....
So all in all, today was a good day. I didn't get told that Nacio was flipped right but you know what? Hannah's birth being 2 hours long was a complete fluke thanks to being induced. That won't happen this time and so having the c-section guarantees me a half hour birth and no pain. Can't get much better than that right?? I plan on videotaping (sorry not talented enough to post that nor do I want vomiting to be my fault) But I do plan on putting up photos just because I'm one of those freaks who thinks photos of births are beautiful. But I'm totally excited for this! 3 1/2 more weeks! @3 more days... Now if I can only get off my duff and get the rest of the baby stuff, we'd be all good. LoL.
So there's my baby update. I'm feeling the heat already and should go throw my dishes in the dishwasher before I pass out from being sleepy. I'm spacing out at the wall as well so it's time to meander in do my dish thang and go lay down. Hannah is sleeping I might as well too, haha. I hope you all are having a nice week so far. No flu or anything icky like that. And I shall blog another update....Well when there is something more to blog about, LoL. Until then,
Toodles!!

Zapi!!!

2009-07-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

http://www.trying2staycalm.com/2009/07/violight-review-and-giveaway.html

What is that you ask? Well besides me trying to score 3 extra entries for this fabulous giveaway, it's a link to a blog that has fabulous giveaways! This specific link is for a free Zapi. What is that you ask??

"It's the perfect accessory for your bathroom. Zapi comes in white, blue, green, and orange to match your personal style, and INCLUDES a matching toothbrush. Just like the other products, the Zapi uses germicidal UV light to eliminate germs in just minutes. Works with most manual toothbrushes and electric heads."

Read the review and comment and follow and maybe even post a link about it and Shauna will give you many entries in order to possibly win this. And while you are there, check out her other giveaways! Shauna has the best giveaways and best of all, they're free!! So head on over!!

*Beckie*

Update Time.

2009-07-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

So where shall I begin? A few days shy of 36 weeks pregnant I am. I had my weekly doctor's appointment today. They bumped me up to weekly appointments now, yay me. That was last week that they did that. We did an ultrasound last week and found out that baby Ignacio was still breech. So I was handed some positions and exercises to do in order to get him to possibly move and flip. They didn't work. I went in today hoping they had worked but they didn't. So today we did the ultrasound to see if he was breech-he is. And then we sat down and picked out a date for the c-section. I walked out with mixed emotions with it. I don't want a c-section but I know it has to be done and shockingly there are some advantages to having it done. Like now there's no shot of Abel missing his son coming into the world. He gets to call his boss and say okay this is what is happening and when and he'll get the days off whereas before it was just a guessing game. And then there will be the fact that now I'll be getting my tubes tied. Might as well since they are down there anyways. Abel was going to get snipped but I know that he'll do nothing but procrastinate about that one so I'm glad to just get this done and over with. And of course the time of it will be much shorter this way versus if I had the vaginal birth. A half hour versus 10 hours or something like that. Much faster. And of course just knowing the date that he will be here instead of wondering and wondering. So it isn't all too bad I guess. I'm just freaked out about the epidural and those side effects and any medications used in the whole process and of course my anxiety. So I'm working on that now while I still have time :) Remain calm, breath. That'll be my mantra. It's going to be so interesting though. A little saddening as Amity and I were trying to have our boys on the same day. Now we won't be able to :( If only her hippie doctor would tell her that she's farther along than they all thought and how oops! She'd have to have a planned birth on the 19th as well. LoL. No shot huh?
On a brighter note I'm stocking up on the baby stuff now. Got a few weeks left and hurrying up trying to make sure I'm all stocked up. Things like the toys and play yards and mats and such I'm holding off on. Those can wait. But I ordered my first case of diapers a few days ago and am going to be buying the case of wipes as well. And I actually need a few more outfits and sleepers and then some blankets and of course the sexy nursing pads. I don't know about you but those make me feel my sexiest ;) I have my whole list that I'm running through getting everything. So much fun let me tell you what.
Aside from that nothing else to report. The husband is away for the week again. His last one thankfully. Then he can be home again. Drag my fat butt up the freaking stairs. I'm so disgusted with myself. I gained 25 pounds with Hannah. Loved it too! I bragged about it all the time. This kid has made me gain double that and I am totally feeling it. Never mind that my legs are swollen 24/7 and look enormous. My skin is shiny which is weird and my thighs look like cottage cheese as well. Ugh my body. I get to look forward to losing 65 pounds at the least after all this. Wowzers...Okay mom I won't belittle you anymore for how much you gained and never lost. Just the thought of trying to lose weight again is making me ache. Least favorite part of pregnancy however? The fact that I don't pee all day and the moment I get into bed, my bladder turns into a colicky newborn. Up every hour telling me to deal with it or else. So I get to go down the stairs and stumble into the bathroom to pee a few droplets and then climb my fat butt back up the stairs and try to catch my breath and get back into a position I feel good in. Oh joy...One of the nurses today made me wonder if she was a liar or just really nice. She told me I didn't look like I was due for another few months. Bless your soul love! I feel like a waddling whale mind you but that picked my spirits up a wee bit. Oh yes, the waddle. Bless my hips and ligaments for the joyful waddle. My father is lucky I allowed him to live past his not-so-humorous comment this morning of "Love the waddle Donald" dirty heathen....
Ahh anyways, enough of my complaining. It is sorta humorous to me some of it actually. Some moments. Now I get to run off and do some laundry and play with this gorgeous little man in my house. I get to babysit for a friend of mine for her adorable and chubby 4 month old baby boy. Hannah has been nothing but loving on him so it gives us a tiny glimpse of our new one coming. So I hope everyone has a fabulous day/week. I'm stalking everyone's blogs for something good to read. I have nothing to do anymore :( Sadness... LoL. So much thanks and loves to everyone!

*Beckie*

I Feel Like A Girl Again!

2009-07-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

Yay for haircuts! Well, despite the fact that I spent too much money on doing my hair and eyebrows, I feel like a girl again! It was so nice yesterday. I haven't had anything done to my hair for over a year if you don't count me doing my own color-from-a-box thing. So I went in, got 4 inches hacked off of my jungle length hair (would have loved to do something drastic with it but then I'd have no hubby to come home to) And then we threw in highlites and shaped my eyebrows finally. There really should be 2, not one from what I understand. Minus sitting under the hairdryer thingy, I had a great time. My favorite part about the whole thing was getting my hair washed. I loooove having someone else wash my hair. It's the fact that I can close my eyes and enjoy the 15 minutes of someone massaging and scratching my scalp. LOVE IT! So now I look like I did back in high school, I have bangs again and I haven't decided if I like them or not. I have maternity photos to be taken tomorrow so I wanted to look new and different.
After the 2 hour hair appointment, I met up with my friend Cassandra and we took off for Minot to go see Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince. I am a fan of Harry's, ha ha. I wouldn't recommend seeing the movie after reading the book because you end up walking out of it disappointed about how much they changed and missed. But it was a good movie if you don't compare it to the book. 2 1/2 hour long movie, could you imagine how long these movies would be if they included everything in the book?!?!? So now I'm excited to see the next two movies (They are splitting the last book into 2 movies) and yet am going to have to calm down for the next two years before it comes out. I hate that....
I am feeling pretty accomplished, I, with the help of dad made that budge I talked about in my last blog? Well payday was two days ago and it feels good to sit down, write out checks and pay bills and then even have a little bit left after all is said and done. It's the first time I've done this and paying all the bills that are needed to be paid and even catching up on some past bills, it feels pretty good. I had to send in mine and Hannah's birth certificates and my marriage license to Abel's insurance company. I sent in a strongly worded letter along with an already self addressed envelope asking them to send all papers back to me. I'm so not going through the crap of getting new ones from Montana. As it is I have to replace my Montana's driver's license so I can get my North Dakota one and I have to replace Hannah's SS card. I get tired of the you need two forms of ID in order to get this paper thing, even though I understand it's for my protection. I'm hoping they are quick on kicking on my insurance. This kid is coming out in 5 weeks and I'm not looking forward to fainting at that bill. I'm STILL paying for Hannah's delivery almost 3 years ago!
So today I'm catching up on every piece of laundry, gunna go run to the grocery store, and get this place picked up so that when Abel gets home at 4 am, it won't make him too cranky, ha ha. I'm including some lovely photos to show you before and after of the new 'do. It isn't anything drastic mind you but it feels like a ton of hair is gone and I'm loving the color whereas before, it was blah brown. I'll take a frontal shot next week when it's time for the bi-monthly belly shoot :)
Hope everyone is having a great week, and have a even better weekend!! More to blog another day!

*Beckie*

~*~*~BEFORE~*~*~

~*~*~AFTER~*~*~

I decided To Play Along, Won't You?

2009-07-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

I Borrowed this from Green-Eyed Momster & Sassy Pants Freckle Face.
Here are the rules:
1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own. (I didn't replace any questions. I think they're all great!)

2. Tag other people. Sounds simple enough, right?

*What is your current obsession?
~~Restaurant City on Facebook, grrr...

*What are you wearing today?
~~Black shorts and a t-shirt. I'm lucky if I even dress anymore.

*What’s for dinner?
~~It's steak night at the Eagles. Enough said.

*What would you eat for your last meal?
~~Mmm...EVERYTHING! Lobster and steak of course, steamed asparagus with lots of creamy butter, Tomato bisque soup, some salad, and for dessert, the biggest chunk of raspberry cheesecake. We're talking the WHOLE pie mind you. I'd like some root beer throughout the meal too. Now I'm drooling....

*What are you listening to right now?
~~My daughter copying what The Incredibles are saying on their movie. She gets that from me...

*Which language do you want to learn?
~~Spanish

*What do you love most about where you currently live?
~~That it's small and away from everyone we knew from home. If you don't know many people, you can't get sucked up in the drama, haha.

*What style is your current home decorated in?
~~It's not. I'm slacking on the whole decorating thing.

*If you were a time traveler what era would you live in?
~~Oooh the 50's! I love that era in time and sooo wish I'd have lived back then.

*What is your favorite color?
~~Pink or purple

*What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
~~My maternity pants from Stephanie, the brown ones. They are the most comfortable and cutest things ever!

*What were you doing ten years ago?
~~Going to school and being a pesky teenager.

*If you had $300 now, what would you spend it on?
~~That much money that wouldn't have to go to bills or the husband or kids? I'd probably put it away honestly. I'm too pregnant to go clothes shopping but I'd hold onto it for when I do lose weight so I can go on a clothing spree.

*When was the last time you cried?
~~It's been awhile truthfully. Unless you count the times when I tear up, that happens all the time.

*What are your favorite films?
~~The Princess Bride for sure!

*Your favorite books?
~~There are so many, I hate to narrow it down to just a few.

*Do you collect anything?
~~LoL sadly no. I did the whole state quarters thing, I'm THAT cool. But no I don't honestly.

*What makes you follow a blog?
~~I have to enjoy what they write about or I have to enjoy the writer themselves.

*What was the most enjoyable thing you did today?
~~I was sleeping...LoL. Does that count?

*Ann's Question: What makes you comment on a blog?
~~I try to comment every blog no matter what. It's nice to hear from your readers and always nice to have comments waiting for you :)

*Amy's Question: What is your favorite thing to do when you have some free time?
~~I read, sleep or weed.

*Annissa's Question: As you know I homeschool -- If you could would you? Do you agree with homeschooling?
~~If I could, as in have the smarts, the time, the energy, maybe I would homeschool but it definitely isn't for me. I agree with homeschooling only if the parents are truly teaching their children. Parents who claim their kids are being schooled at home and yet don't know how to read at the age of 10 (Yes I've met those kind of families) I don't think should be allowed to homeschool.

*Tonya's Question: What is a talent you wished you had?
~~I wish I could draw, that would be awesome.

*Kyooty's Question: If you could be any other animal other then Human, what would you be?
~~Hmm...Probably a cat. They seem to have the perfect life

*Carrin's Question: Rush just told me that by 2042, white people will be the minority. Do you believe that? Would that be a big deal to you?
~~Oh definitely. I wouldn't care though. I think there are other things more important to worry about (Not a huge fan of Rush here can you tell?)

*Melissa's Question: Would you want your blog to be as popular as Dooce? What would be some of the pros and cons?
~~I don't have a clue who Dooce is. I think it'd be great to have a blog followed by as many people such as Stephanie (Gucci Mama) but I'm a follower of people who have as many as 500 people on there and that would suck because there's no way you could be personal with any of your followers. My small amount of followers allow me actual friendships and that's my favorite part!

*Unknown Mami's Question: What do you admire most about yourself? Don't be modest.
~~The fact that I have changed into such a better person than who I was 5 years ago. And I admire my family and how blessed I am. If I wasn't me, I'd be jealous of me, haha.

*Green-Eyed Momster: If you could be anyone else, who would you be?
~~For kicks and giggles I'd love to be Angelina Jolie. Not for her hubby or anything like that but because of how great of an influence she is and everything she gets to do. I'd eat like a pig if I were her just because I know she could afford my food tastes, haha.

*Sassy Pants Freckle Face: How do you think you have changed the world?
~~I haven't, sad isn't it? I'm not concerned with the world, just my family and friends.

*Beckie's question: Out of every toy in the world, which was your very favorite as a child and why?

(Oh and it's no fun tagging, just take this and do it because you are THAT cool!)

Bucketlists, books, and fatness.

2009-07-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

So a few days ago a wonderful bloggy friend of mine posted a Bucket/Birthday List and it got me thinking as well. ( http://greeneyedmama.blogspot.com/2009/07/bucketbirthday-list.html ) --> That's my poor attempt at linking the blog, haha....I'm not one for lists and have never once sat down and made a list of the things I'd love to do before I die. I think it's because I'd always be adding thing to it and maybe even removing, my mind is never made up fully on any one subject. That and I have no patience to sit down and actually make one. But today with her current blog about bills and credit and such, it made me think. Number one on my list would have to be, get every single bill paid off. I don't care much for my credit report as I don't use that much and face it, no one in this world has perfect credit anymore. And like I told her, my creditors are lucky I even bother paying them, haha. But I would love if one day soon, I could open up my folder with all my bills and collection papers and such and find that all of them are gone!
Abel's job is the best he's ever had and he's making a good amount of money. We're not rich mind you, not in any way shape or form but to us, this is rich when compared to what he had been making in his last job. When we were back in Libby and barely surviving, our bills never got paid. The phone, electricity, water and all that did mind you but everything else? Got scooped up into a pile and thrown away. We didn't care at that point. When we moved here New Year's Day I made a resolution to start fresh and by paying off all of our debt. Needless to say, that went out the window like a new diet. Three days ago when I went to pull money out of our account and found out that my husband has trashed our account by overdrawing (thank God our bank doesn't charge us overdraft fees!) I sat down with my dad who not only is the cheapest man on Earth, also was an accountant back in his working days. Not only did I get a very looooong drawn out speech about money and credit and finances and blah blah blah (I obviously was paying attention can you tell?) he helped me make out a simple budget. Then showed me how much money would be left each payday after bills and it made me gasp! I can not believe how much money we are wasting. I say we even though I'm gritting my teeth and thinking of husband. HE has debit card and he has the check book and is not keeping track of our money like he said he would but alas, I said for better and worse and I'll put equal blame onto myself...
So I feel good now that starting next month, we will be paying bills off once again. I look forward to the relief of one bill being all paid off and then starting to pay on another. At the end of this year hopefully a few bills will be completely done with. And maybe, at the end of next year we will have all of our bills paid off and done with. That is my goal. My "bucket list". Well part of it that is.
We won't go into the full bucket list which would have to include a sleepover with Johnny Depp and other various wants...Hehehe. So in other news, after Hannah fell asleep I made a run to the library to pick up some books. I've been reading more and as I need to pass the next few weeks quickly (face it I want this kid out now!) the library has been my good friend. It's the place where mommy can go alone and have some quiet time. Luckily I've hit it when there's been no one there so I don't have to deal with people. The librarian knows me back from high school so she knows to grab my attention when I first walk in and then after a few minutes of chit-chat to let me get down to business. I'm one of those people you find sitting on the floor reading the first few pages of a book to see if I like it. It's nice. So I grabbed a few books and a few free murder mystery magazines like Ellery Queen and even a few Women's Day and then came home feeling all happy with myself. I realized that it's almost the day of fat belly picture time and took a few quick photos of the belly to play with and then post tomorrow.
If you aren't already a follower you must go visit my good friend Amity, she's quite the sassy writer and is also my preggie buddy. ( http://sassypantsfreckleface.blogspot.com/ ) We are due around the same time and therefore have agreed to post belly photos at the same time. So i took mine and realized that I am now bigger now with this child than I was on the day I delivered Hannah. And yet I'm only 5 pounds heavier with this one than I was on Hannah's birth day. Weird... I've been toying with the idea of whether or not to have my tubes tied at the same time. Husband and I have agreed that we are finished having babies. We have one of each and I have gone through so much emotional and physical stress for these babies that it would be wise to be done. We plan on later in the future adopting but until then, someone is getting fixed. Originally I put my feet down, yes both of them, and told him he was getting snipped. easier, faster, less pain and face it, I carried babies for 18 months total and delivered them, he could do this little bit. But now I'm beginning to wonder if it would be wiser if I just had it all done while I'm in there and get it over with. Abel would procrastinate and it would never get done I'm thinking. Has anyone had their tubes tied? What do you think?
Anyways, I have a few e-mails to rush off and I need to stalk Fed-Ex and get them here to pick up a box. I hope everyone is having a great day. Can you tell I'm trying to be better at my blogging? LoL. I apologize for it being random and not very interesting...Anyways, visit my bloggy friends, you won't regret it and until next time!

*Beckie*

Crabby Lady

2009-07-03T12:50:00.001-07:00

You know, for getting so much done today and having so much good stuff happening in the past few days, you'd think I wouldn't have a bad mood at all. I mean, the 4th of July is upon us almost and here I am crabby as all get up. Ugh. Must be the hormones...
So one reason for said crabbiness?? My mother. I don't know why when she says something or tells me she's going to do something, I always follow her around like a lost puppy dog believing her every word thinking that maybe, just maybe this time will be different. Why would it change now when all my life I've been last place on her list of priorities and been let down every time she's said she'd do something? Because I'm an idiot. She told me since she found out I was pregnant that she'd fly up here to be with me and meet the baby and visit Hannah. PROMISED! I got excited. Why? Because since my daughter was born, my mother has met her once. And that was when she was 5 months old. For a week. That's it. I had to go down to her to even make this happen mind you. When Hannah was born, my mother-in-law (God bless her soul!) pawned stuff to be up with us for two weeks. Talk about love. My in-laws don't have a lot of money but they do everything they can to be with us or to get us down there to visit. For as many trips as we've made to California to see the in-laws, they've made the exact same to see us. They call specifically to talk to Hannah (not their son mind you, LoL) and my daughter knows who her Gammy & Papa are. She has no clue who my mom is. Sad isn't it? Anyways, back to point of vent...So my mom tells me that she doesn't have enough money to fly up and stay with us after all and that she'll just wait until we come down to see her. HAH!! You know...I've been pregnant for almost 9 months here, putting $25 back a paycheck or month even would have scored her plenty of money to fly up. And she works for the gov doing medicaid and medicare stuff so it isn't like she's broke. No kids and very little bills, means enough money to pull some aside. I don't get it...The real kicker here? The fact that she's poured money and time into my dead beat sister who is a meth head who ran off and dumped her daughter on my mom. My mom and her "wife" have gone to visit my step sister twice in San Fran. And my mom sent her "wife" up to stay with her daughter while she had her kid just two months ago. Yep, again Beckie gets the shaft. Which is alright with me. The bitch side of me is pouting and saying fine, see if I ever come to see you and don't blame me when you finally meet Hannah who stares at you and asks you who you are and why you want a hug (she doesn't hug strangers btw) and the real piece that I know will hit her hard yet doesn't bug me...When I ghet to brag about my fabulous mother-in-law who came to stay with me and helped me out and spoiled her grand-kids. My mom is big on jealousy and knowing that this will eat her up brings a smile to her face. I'm not usually this harsh but today, my hormones make it easy to enjoy it....
UGH!
So yesterday I got to drive an hour and a half to Bismarck to pick up my baby swing and jumparoo that I've been wanting. The rainforest ones. God blessed me. I got both for a hundred bucks so I saved about eighty bucks had I bought them new. I don't like buying used in the case of baby stuff but A)Hubby is having a difficult time allowing me to spend money (yet it's okay for him to buy cigarettes and junk for himself, but we won't go there today...) and B)these weren't even used. The lady scored two sets of each (lucky woman) and so she was selling these ones to make room in her house. Whatever. So I spent 3 hours in a car with a cranky toddler to pick these up and bring them home. Made my day honestly. Two less things to deal with...
My garden turned into a jungle on me. I guess after you plant a garden you don't get to just walk away and wait until it's time to pick everything. I forgot you have to go in time to time and weed. I got half of it weeded. It doesn't look like I did much but God forbid whoever walks by and tells me I could have done more or it doesn't look like I did much. I sat my fat ass on a grubby dirty piece of wood on the ground for two hours and pulled weeds while being attacked by spiders and pokey weeds and flying bugs. I don't do dirt or bugs. i was tested years ago for ADD and OCD and was borderline OCD. I don't see it but I guess others do. Part of my issue is I can't have my hands dirty. Literally dirty. And I have to wash my hands a ton of times during the day if they even feel dirty. So me being outside in the dirt was no fun seriously. I took a shower and still don't feel clean. But at least I got out, haha.
So any big 4th of July plans for anyone? I hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend. I'm making the hubby take me out to the move tonight. Night At The Museum. 2 is here. He comes home tonight some time and then leaves Sunday afternoon for another 5 days. Thank God he does this only two more weeks. I'm so used to doing the single mommy thing it's crazy! I don't know what I'll do when he actually is home regularly again, LoL. Daddy who??
33 weeks preggers as of yesterday...7 more weeks! Yay! I've been having braxton hicks for the past 2 days. Not anything to worry me but they still do. That and ouch! LoL. My doctor told me oh they don't hurt, they're just pressure from your uterus practicing...Umm as Rachel on Friends would say: "No uterus, no opinion doc!" LoL. they don't hurt my ass...My last Dr (who was also male) told me how my contractions didn't hurt as bad as I made them out to be and he almost got a foot to the face. This Dr has been warned to watch his mouth, I get violent and pissy when in pain...
Anyways, I'm starving and want to go watch Lethal Weapon 3. Gotta have a little humor somewhere right? So I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! And the next time I blog, I'll be in a better mood, I promise. :)
*Beckie*

My New Baby Nightmare

2009-06-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

......So my favorite Gucci Mama, Miss Stephanie herself, produced a crazy looking baby and posted it for all to see on her wonderful blog. My curiosity was piqued so I decided to give it a whirl too. Just to see what this kid could possibly end up looking like...AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! LoL. Now I know what I will be having nightmares about for the remainder of this pregnancy.....

http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/?mId=30404823

Can we say crazy looking kid? And he's white too no less! LoL my babies are all Hispanic. Whoa mama...
As for baby news, nothing to report here. I was having a meltdown a few days ago about how I have this baby room that needs a complete makeover badly before Ignacio gets here. It's got peeling white wallpaper, nasty carpet and everything that needs to get put in there. It's not like white trash, cockroach infested, it's just been 3 or 4 years since my dad was able to climb the stairs to actually be in there to do anything so like everything in this house, it just needs a little work. Well, I was having issues figuring out the scheme and how no matter what colors I wanted in the room, nothing would match the theme I wanted to do (rainforest) so I was feeling pretty frustrated. Well today I went to the hardware store and stood in front of the paint color swatch section thingy and picked out my two colors. Brown and green. LoL. I don't remember the fancy name for them but they are just a dark brown and a dark green. Really pretty but still boyish. And I've decided to do stripes and then do a tan color on the ceiling to sort of make the room look taller than what it really is. Next weekend is when I hope to begin the painting process. I hit up a garage sale yesterday and scored a big dresser for the room too and that will get painted as well. I'm thinking of doing it all brown and making the shelves and drawers green. To match the room. I'll do before and after pictures so everyone can see what it all turns out like and I can get some feedback. My husband is colorblind so he really doesn't care, LoL. My father hates the colors but he's old fashioned and thinks blue and white are great combos. Ugh too plain for me thanks dad.
Abel is leaving in a little bit to go off to Minot which is a little over an hour away. He'll be there for work until Friday afternoon when he gets to come home again. We're heading up on Wednesday so we can do some grocery shopping, pick up my baby swing (yay) and hopefully some bassinet sheets and a case of diapers. If I do a little baby shopping every check we get, we should be done by the time baby gets here. I hope.
So I hope everyone's weekend was great! Mine was a little slow but yet got stuff accomplished so I'm good. Now I'm off to play some Farkle on Facebook (talk about addicting!) and who knows what else. Have a great rest of the day and I'll be on again later!!

*Beckie*

Looking Back...

2009-06-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

I would like to go on record that I was forced into doing this, LoL. But it's okay because it's pretty fun to look back on these past 8 months. I, officially as of tomorrow will be 32 weeks. 8 months pregnant mind you. 8 whole months. And will have 2 months to go. I feel like an elephant. LoL. So to all my bloggie friends, enjoy the photos and belly but please ignore the huge a** behind me, it seems to have grown at the same rate of the belly. And even though they could be worse, I am not in love with them so ignore the stretch marks as well. LoL.
Hope you enjoy!
*Beckie*

***14 weeks***

***16 Weeks***

***20 Weeks***

***22 Weeks***

***24 Weeks***

***28 Weeks***

***31 Weeks***

***32 Weeks***

WTH??

2009-06-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

Question. How in the world do you NOT know you are pregnant? Granted you could slide the first few months with maybe not knowing although missing a few periods and throwing up all the time would be my first suspicious note. Has been everytime. But when you start gaining weight and feeling something kicking you from the inside?? What is the excuse then?? I'm flabbergasted. And yes, even a little judgmental. Sorry. I adore watching Discovery Channel. They have this show coming on in half an hour called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Are you kidding me? Bunch of lies just to get on TV I say. Puh-lease...
Found someone who almost had to feel my pregnancy wrath last night. Went out with a few friends and the husband last night. Yes to a bar. So I'm done with Shirley Temples. they were cute the first few times but now they make me sick. So I ask the bartender, hey you work here, what can you make me that's virginized or non-alcoholic? I get a dumbfounded stare and then a "Gosh, I don't know." Wow. Yep there's my stupidity for assuming that because someone works somewhere, they automatically know something. So then I tell him, okay tell you what, I'd like to buy a pitcher of virgin margaritas and I'll even throw in an extra tip for the effort. Then Mr. I'm Too Good To Do My Job decides to launch into this full fledged "I don't want to do my job and here's why" speech. Too much effort. Seriously is the excuse I got. Now mind you, had the bar been full of patrons, I would have never asked for this time consuming drink. But it was pretty much empty and the customers that were there were drinking beers. The effort required there was pulling a bottle out of the fridge, opening it and giving it to them. Ooooh effort...
My whole rant is that if you can't do your job then don't freaking work there. Especially if you uneducated about it. When I have a customer next to me who gives me about 40 drinks I could have, it makes me wonder why he is sitting on that side of the bar. I get so tired of people working in jobs they don't appreciate or do correctly when there are people out there who don't have jobs.
There are guys who work with Abel who actually have "I hate the railroad" parties. Seriously?? Then why the hell do you work there? You're right. Medical benefits, retirement plans, good job stability and the fact that you make more than most anyone in this entire town combined with someone from the next town over is just soo horrible! Give me a break.
It's hot outside. I'm sweaty. And obviously a tad cranky. Oh dear, the hormones are kicking in again, haha. I've never felt so huge in my life. I have a cloth here and actually wiping sweat out from under my boobs. You have got to be kidding me. 9 more weeks. 9 more weeks. Confound it, 9 more weeks. LoL. Eh I'll be all good tomorrow. Not so cranky. I hope. I may kill someone tonight. LoL. God help the next person who gets in my way I swear. Maybe I'll go to Montana and start stalking those crazy WalMart shoppers for someone I know ;) Haha. I need some ice cream....
Alright. I'll end the vent here. Holy crap 18 kids in one family!?!? I need to turn off my TV and walk away now..Love to all! Seriously..I like you guys. It's everyone else I pretty much hate right now, LoL!!!!

*Beckie*

PS--->If Clint Eastwood or the chick who wrote My Sister's Keeper happens upon this; YOU are part of my blacklist. I'd explain why but I'm afraid I'd blow the movie/book for those who haven't seen/read it. But you suck. Thanks.

About Time For An Update Yes?

2009-06-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

Ahh my bloggy friends! Sorry it's been forever and a day. I partly blame FarmTown over on Facebook and I partly blame...Well, me and my laziness, haha. It's so easy to feel lazy these days. 9 weeks left before this turkey comes out and I'm always tired it seems. Very little energy and just ehhh love to nap, haha. My body must be telling me to stock up on all the sleep I can, because it's the last I'll see for awhile.
Our little vacay in Minnesota went well. We hit up the Mall of America and got to do a little shopping. I bought a post-pregnancy dress which I tried on, cried and then tore off and stuck in the waaay back end of the closet. I'm upbeat about it for next summer however. My goal? I WILL weigh 145 again. It's been years but now that this I smy last kiddo, I can finally get off my butt and get back down to that weight. The husband has promised me a shopping spree and I get to throw every piece of clothing out once I hit that weight. How can I NOT lose weight, haha.
Anyways, along with the Mall, we also hit up the state zoo which was alright. I'm a California native, and San Diego Wild Animal park/Zoo is my idea of a place for animals when I think of them behind bars so when I see a Bald Eagle in a cage that probably is smaller than a jail cell, it makes me feel pretty sad. "Hi Mr. Bald Eagle, we love your wings and enjoy your flight patterns but we're sticking you in a cell and please don't extend your wings, you may get them stuck in the fencing." Sadness...But my daughter had a blast and it was fun for us as a family outing so I won't complain and put it down too much.
Abel passed his big test with only 6 questions wrong out of 250. I'm a proud wifey let me tell you what. Passing the test just means he's officially a certified railroad conductor. He can now ride without another conductor there watching over him and he gets to keep his job which is always good. Had he failed, they would have fired him. So this is all good.
Speaking of hubby, today is our 4th wedding anniversary. I'm prouder than ever to say we made it this far. It seems like this past year has been the hardest on us and our marriage. But we came through it stronger and a little closer so it was worth it. I'm just glad we came through it. I can sometimes be one of those people where when things get tough, I run away and for once, I didn't. It's a good thing :)
We also had an ultrasound today. It makes me horribly nervous because baby is still breech and I'm praying he turns soon. I don't want a c-section. I have anxiety about having one and I know I wouldn't be able to put up with the meds very well. Epideral? Holy crap no thanks! LoL. If I have to do it, I have to do it but I won't be pleasant about it. Everytime they do an ultrasound I always tell them, make sure and show me his little boy parts so I can be sure it's really a boy. I have nightmares of all them telling me how he's a boy but then when he comes out, he turns out to be a she. Today we got like two seconds of a glance of it and then could only see the scrotum as the stinker shut his legs. He's a prude. Takes after me, haha.
What else...There isn't much going on right now really. My mother is making plans and reservations on coming up after baby is here which will be nice. And Abel is taking a few days off to help out too which will be great. This will be the one hospital stay I ask to stay as long as possible, haha. I want a few days to be with my baby alone and not have to deal with both kids at once. Hannah has turned into a clingy child right now. She wakes up and wants me to carry her everywhere and freaks out when I put her down or when someone else deals with her other than me. I have no idea why she has gotten this way all of a sudden but am trying to break her of it so that I don't have to deal with that when baby gets here. Otherwise that will make for lots and lots of fun! LoL.
Anyways, I hear my husband's car coming so I better jump off and pretend that I was doing some housework! I'm posting some random photos just for fun for everyone :) I hope you are all doing well and hope you forgive my absence of comments and blogging!

*Beckie*

*~*The son & his umbilical cord, haha~*~

~*~The husband & daughter at the zoo~*~

~*~The goat and Hannah sharing secrets and kisses~*~

~*~My fat belly, just for my sassy special friend :D ~*~