Well ladies, I thought my day was going great as it was when I ended that post yesterday. Turns out it only got better! LoL. At least I have my sense of humor.
So yesterday shortly after that post I felt like things were only getting worse and as I'd been dealing with contractions for 24 hours, I probably should call it quits with my stubborn pride and hit the ER. It's a good thing I did as my Dr was disappointed that I didn't go in sooner. Yes it was pre-term labor and yes they were admitting me and yes I bawled like a baby. Abel got to stay with me for 2 hours until he absolutely had to take off for work out of town. He was freaked out as it was so I'm glad he didn't call in or something. We had an ultrasound done and Nacio is fine. Very fine thank God. And I got lucky to have the start of a UTI which was just an added bonus. Yay me...So I got admitted and began freaking out because not only was I stabbed 8 time in order to get an IV but I was in the beginning of an anxiety attack. I asked for a few minutes alone and went to the bathroom and sobbed and began repeating the only thought I could think of at that moment: God only gives you what you can handle...That was my mantra all night and surprisingly helped me out a lot. Hannah stayed with my dad which worried me as I know Hannah can be a lot to handle and dad has COPD and can't do much, hence why we live with him. I didn't need him to over exert himself and join me in the hospital too you know? And the fact that last night was only the 3rd time in Hannah's life that I wasn't with her overnight. I missed her so much and when dad called to let her tell me night-night, I lost it. I tear up now thinking about it.
I'm so thankful that this pregnancy is going as well as it is and pray that this was the last time I deal with this. Last night made me realize for the first time that yes, I really can't do this again. This must be my last bout with pregnancy. Miscarriages suck and take so much from you. I've had 3 and healed so I thought I was pretty tough by now. I'm not.
Last night I thought of Stephanie. Miss Gucci Mama. What she went through with Ella her miracle baby born super early. It made me sad because it's one thing to sit on my end of the computer, read what she was going through and pray for her. I didn't have a clue what she was going through and I didn't fully understand. Last night, sitting in that hospital room made me feel like I was slacking. I chose between my children and felt so broken hearted and it is probably just the hormones because Hannah was fine, it was only one night and I'm home now, but I just hurt a little still you know? I have a whole new found respect and a little bit of understanding for her now though. She was in for a few weeks and went through certainly more than I did but I got to walk half an inch in her shoes and didn't like it one bit. Now I just an truly amazed at the strength of people that I thought I was amazed with before. And I realize that maybe one day, slowly as it's taking me, I'm going to be stronger as a person. Maybe...
Now I'm praying and hoping that we can make it 10 more weeks. I gotta get to 35 weeks Dr says. 25 weeks is too soon to be having these issues. So begins the new countdown :) 9 1/2 more weeks if we wanna get technical about it. A gallon of water a day and lots of antibiotics and probably bi-weekly appointments again.
I lost my train of thought now...And Hannah is waking up from her nap and as I haven't seen her since I got home I think this is where I'll end it. I'm done with the contractions thanks to the lovely meds and fluids and all. I'm doing much better now that I'm home and I'm hoping God doesn't test me much more during this time. I broke down rather easily last night, I don't think I could do it again.
Stephanie has a March of Dimes donation going on on her page, please go check out her latest blog and read it and donate! It's super important!! If you don't know who Stephanie is (Gucci Mama) She's on my blogs that I read and my followers. I'm not good with links btw...Oh and let her know what a dynamite person she is! God couldn't have made a stronger and more amazing person. And a late Happy Mothers Day to everyone if I forgot to mention that yesterday!! Lots of love to you all!!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day!!
All my friends, you are amazing mother's hence what drew me to your blogs and your friendship. It comforts me that you don't live a 100% life or brag of being the perfect mother. Thank you oh so much for that! Let's say I have a few of those people in my life as it is, LoL.
So I hope your day is magnificent. Mine is less that perfect...Well very less than perfect but I'm content so it's not a bother. I have a very cranky and whiny two year old that finally is napping on the couch. And a sick husband who has been sleeping for the past two hours...Wasn't I supposed to be the one allowed to lay in bed alone all day??? I think we messed this day up a little...And the son residing in my belly? Is once again wanting out early. Yes, contractions for the past 24 hours. It is lovely let me tell you what. I'm guzzling water just to cover that base before rushing off to the ER for a $1500 bill that I really don't need. And I look at this as practice for the future. If I get used to the pain now it may not hurt as bad later, LoL. Sick way of thinking but it works, haha.
Hubby and I went out last night to go see Fast & Furious the movie. It was a great movie and something we both love watching. But why may I ask, is a movie about cars and racing and action allowed to include at least two scenes of lesbian orgies??? Watching women in groups of 3 or more making out and grabbing each other just isn't my thing, pardon me. And my husband made me ever so proud when he turned to me and said well since we're in the middle of worthless garbage, I'm going to the bathroom. Oh thank you for not enjoying it while drooling. Ugh. Other than that it was great! I love cars and hubby and I enjoy imports and racing. LoL. I just don't enjoy getting under the hood and getting dirty. Oh well.
Afterwards we went to the bar so Abel and I could have a few minutes of grown up time before heading off back home. I actually enjoyed turning heads, haha. I would stare if I saw a 6 month pregnant woman walk into a bar and order a Shirley Temple. It was fun and I enjoyed myself.
So ladies, I hope you have a glorious day, this is YOUR day as you know. I had plans of this being longer but I want to go lay down and take a Tylenol (shhh don't tell my doctor) Love to you all!!!!!
So I hope your day is magnificent. Mine is less that perfect...Well very less than perfect but I'm content so it's not a bother. I have a very cranky and whiny two year old that finally is napping on the couch. And a sick husband who has been sleeping for the past two hours...Wasn't I supposed to be the one allowed to lay in bed alone all day??? I think we messed this day up a little...And the son residing in my belly? Is once again wanting out early. Yes, contractions for the past 24 hours. It is lovely let me tell you what. I'm guzzling water just to cover that base before rushing off to the ER for a $1500 bill that I really don't need. And I look at this as practice for the future. If I get used to the pain now it may not hurt as bad later, LoL. Sick way of thinking but it works, haha.
Hubby and I went out last night to go see Fast & Furious the movie. It was a great movie and something we both love watching. But why may I ask, is a movie about cars and racing and action allowed to include at least two scenes of lesbian orgies??? Watching women in groups of 3 or more making out and grabbing each other just isn't my thing, pardon me. And my husband made me ever so proud when he turned to me and said well since we're in the middle of worthless garbage, I'm going to the bathroom. Oh thank you for not enjoying it while drooling. Ugh. Other than that it was great! I love cars and hubby and I enjoy imports and racing. LoL. I just don't enjoy getting under the hood and getting dirty. Oh well.
Afterwards we went to the bar so Abel and I could have a few minutes of grown up time before heading off back home. I actually enjoyed turning heads, haha. I would stare if I saw a 6 month pregnant woman walk into a bar and order a Shirley Temple. It was fun and I enjoyed myself.
So ladies, I hope you have a glorious day, this is YOUR day as you know. I had plans of this being longer but I want to go lay down and take a Tylenol (shhh don't tell my doctor) Love to you all!!!!!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Ugh!
Thank you swine flu! I adore you! NOT!! So my trip to California that I was supposed to be happily going on, has been canceled. Too many outbreaks where my mother lives and it would put too much risk for the baby to catch it and although there haven't been any deaths (minus the one Mexican toddler who came to Texas for care) I still don't feel like putting Hannah in that situation either. Oh but it makes me ever so sad! I had so much I was looking forward to and the fact that my daughter hasn't seen my mother in over two years was the main thing. I want my daughter to have a decent relationship with my mom but how can she when we never see each other?? I hate living so far away from family. Abel's family all live in the Fresno area of California, mine live near Palm Springs and then our friends all live in Montana, back in Libby. When I let it get to me, it is quite depressing....
So now I'm in the blahs lately with nothing much to do. Our town held one of it's bi-annual City Wide Yard Sales yesterday. Everyone who wants to have a yard sale gives the city $5 and the city prints out a map of the city and highlights their house. And beginning at 9am everyone goes nuts trying to hit all the houses they can first, haha. I left Hannah here with my father and I went with a friend of mine and her 8 month old daughter who was on her best behavior. I spent a total of $80 and got like 13 bags of clothes for Hannah, a few clothes for Ignacio and two toys for him as well. There are so many people here that are clothes snobs. I'm sorry but if I just bought my daughter her entire summer wardrobe for $80 and they happen to also be name brand, I think I'm doing fabulous! A friend of my dads told him that she never clothes her grandchildren in used clothes, she's too good for that! 'scuuuuse me!
So I have Hannah completely outfitted for summertime and it's a relief on me! Yes I spent so much money but I did very well. For some reason no one around here has baby boys so there were hardly any baby boy clothes but I'll deal with it. I hit one house and this lady had nothing but sets of clothes. No separates. She buys all her stuff on the internet in sets so I got super lucky and basically bought an entire table worth of stuff from her. Hannah even scored a few pajama sets! And I even managed to find a maternity dress for this awful wedding I have to attend in August. 5 days before my due date. Down at our city "lake". I'm going to be such a b*&^% when that hits. August here is humid and hot and nasty and I'm going to be down near the water for over an hour sitting my fat butt there for someone who I hate...OMG! Why am I even going!?!? LoL. Gotta be nice, gotta be nice...In the process if meeting new friends and rekindling old friendships from high school, this is one of the girls who I had a BIG problem with in high school who thinks we are cool now...Gotta be nice, gotta be nice...Anyways, I scored a maternity shirt and got Abel a shirt as well. So it was a good day.
I'm sitting down finally, with a little over 3 months to go, trying to figure out what all I need for Ignacio. I can't quite actually get to the sitting down and doing the work part but it's nice thinking about it. LoL. Did any of you actually use a stroller? I can't figure out if I want to get one of the stroller and car seat combos, just a car seat or invest in a car seat and a double stroller. I'm having Ignacio in August, doubt I'll be taking him for a walk anytime before winter hits (which snow falls usually at the end of September). I just don't know what to do but really can't afford to waste money. Any hints or helpful ideas??? LOL.
Ugh so anyways, my dishes are doing themselves in the dishwasher and I'm going to wake up Hannah to go to the park with some friends. I met and talked to her soon to be daycare provider and am really excited for September to roll around. It sounds horrible I know, here I am a stay at home mommy and trying to dump my kid off on daycare. But Head Start is fully booked so far so they don't think they can get Hannah in on September and Hannah is in dire need of some kid time. She is definitely an only child as hard as we tried to not make her one but if she doesn't get near kids her own age, she'll be screwed for later. So I figure one day a week for 3 hours or so, she'll get some good kid time in and yet not be gone too long. And yes, with the new baby here, it will help me out to have sort of a break. I know, I am a huge slacker, no words for it. I have guilt trips about it don't worry...
Anywho I should get going. I need to get on here more often and post updates for everyone. I'm such a slacker on that too. I hope everyone's weekend went well and that you are all doing fabulous! Lots of love to you all!!
*Beckie*
So now I'm in the blahs lately with nothing much to do. Our town held one of it's bi-annual City Wide Yard Sales yesterday. Everyone who wants to have a yard sale gives the city $5 and the city prints out a map of the city and highlights their house. And beginning at 9am everyone goes nuts trying to hit all the houses they can first, haha. I left Hannah here with my father and I went with a friend of mine and her 8 month old daughter who was on her best behavior. I spent a total of $80 and got like 13 bags of clothes for Hannah, a few clothes for Ignacio and two toys for him as well. There are so many people here that are clothes snobs. I'm sorry but if I just bought my daughter her entire summer wardrobe for $80 and they happen to also be name brand, I think I'm doing fabulous! A friend of my dads told him that she never clothes her grandchildren in used clothes, she's too good for that! 'scuuuuse me!
So I have Hannah completely outfitted for summertime and it's a relief on me! Yes I spent so much money but I did very well. For some reason no one around here has baby boys so there were hardly any baby boy clothes but I'll deal with it. I hit one house and this lady had nothing but sets of clothes. No separates. She buys all her stuff on the internet in sets so I got super lucky and basically bought an entire table worth of stuff from her. Hannah even scored a few pajama sets! And I even managed to find a maternity dress for this awful wedding I have to attend in August. 5 days before my due date. Down at our city "lake". I'm going to be such a b*&^% when that hits. August here is humid and hot and nasty and I'm going to be down near the water for over an hour sitting my fat butt there for someone who I hate...OMG! Why am I even going!?!? LoL. Gotta be nice, gotta be nice...In the process if meeting new friends and rekindling old friendships from high school, this is one of the girls who I had a BIG problem with in high school who thinks we are cool now...Gotta be nice, gotta be nice...Anyways, I scored a maternity shirt and got Abel a shirt as well. So it was a good day.
I'm sitting down finally, with a little over 3 months to go, trying to figure out what all I need for Ignacio. I can't quite actually get to the sitting down and doing the work part but it's nice thinking about it. LoL. Did any of you actually use a stroller? I can't figure out if I want to get one of the stroller and car seat combos, just a car seat or invest in a car seat and a double stroller. I'm having Ignacio in August, doubt I'll be taking him for a walk anytime before winter hits (which snow falls usually at the end of September). I just don't know what to do but really can't afford to waste money. Any hints or helpful ideas??? LOL.
Ugh so anyways, my dishes are doing themselves in the dishwasher and I'm going to wake up Hannah to go to the park with some friends. I met and talked to her soon to be daycare provider and am really excited for September to roll around. It sounds horrible I know, here I am a stay at home mommy and trying to dump my kid off on daycare. But Head Start is fully booked so far so they don't think they can get Hannah in on September and Hannah is in dire need of some kid time. She is definitely an only child as hard as we tried to not make her one but if she doesn't get near kids her own age, she'll be screwed for later. So I figure one day a week for 3 hours or so, she'll get some good kid time in and yet not be gone too long. And yes, with the new baby here, it will help me out to have sort of a break. I know, I am a huge slacker, no words for it. I have guilt trips about it don't worry...
Anywho I should get going. I need to get on here more often and post updates for everyone. I'm such a slacker on that too. I hope everyone's weekend went well and that you are all doing fabulous! Lots of love to you all!!
*Beckie*
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