I hope everyone has not only a fantabulous Valentine's Day but also a fabulous weekend as well. The hubby and I don't do Valentine's day, one too many times scorned on this ... day and he's just excited to not have the pressure of buying something for me. To tell you the truth, I've only been single like twice for Valentine's day. During my teenage years that is. And never have I ever gotten anything for this day from my ... then boyfriend. So I began to despise it. Today, I have my hubby, Abel who not only makes sure to buy me flowers every few weeks, he also arranges them (don't ask me how he negotiates with the florist to allow him to do this) but he also buys me sweet thinsg every so often and cards every great while as well. He enjoys taking me out to dinner often and loves to spoil me as often as he is allowed. I think this day is just another day except that the sugar companies like to over play it so they can make money off of couples. I think honestly, everyone should play as if V-Day were everyday if not every few weeks. I'm very greatful I didn't end up with a man who never buys or does anything sweet but once a year when it is required. So I'm greatful.
I however think of you, my blogger friends and how sweet you all are. And that you are my friendly Valentines this year. I'm so thankful to have met you and to get to hear of the many sweet and wonderful things you do all the time! You truly make it a V-day every day!!
You know also how interesting that today is the Friday the 13th? Yeah I'm not too superstitous, especially since we got our tax refund back today. LoL. I got to go shopping finally. I ordered a nice camera which I of course am regretting immediately. I'm one of those people who despises buying for herself. I talk alot about wanting to go shopping but when it comes down to it, I can't buy anything for me because I hate the guilt. So I buy for Hannah or Abel. Like this time. I got a piece of the money, Abel got teh same amount, half of it went to paying bills and my father and the other half went into the bank. I spent my part on my camera and then for Hannah. No wait, I did manage to buy a bra. I needed one what with mine falling out of the one I own currently...We won't go there...But I feel so much happier buying for others than myself. Although, one of these days I do need to buy some new clothes. For sure, for sure....
Anyways, just a random short note. I hope you all have a great weekend. I get to get Hannah ready and we're off to visit my father in the hospital. He lost 12 pounds once they inserted a catheter. No one believed me that he needed to be cathed. No one listened to me when I told them him peeing once a day wasn't enough and that something had to wrong. Oh no, don't listen to me...TMI, I'm sorry. Still pissed about it but whatever. He's getting fixed so I'm happy.
So anyways, Happy V-Day!! Love to you all and I'll be on again another day!!
*Beckie*
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
God, Are You There? It Isn't Margaret This Time...
Have you guys read that book? I had the chance back in elementary school and never did, ha ha. But I probably will never stroll through a library without seeing it and will never forget it's title.
I've been having a bit of a guilt session with myself lately. I'm not a Bible thumping Christian. I do take my Bible with me everywhere I go as it is my "security blanket" but since moving here to Harvey, we haven't found a church because it seems (No offense to any Catholics out there) that this is where you all herd to for church. There are about 3 Catholic churches here I swear!! But no decent Christian churches. My husband is non-denominational. I, on the other hand consider myself to be a Messianic Jew. It sounds odd and complicated and still is to me but I'm learning. I am 100% Jewish as I came right out of my mother who too is Jewish. Heck, we had family who was murdered and too who escaped from that dreadful "Hail Hitler!" era. It doesn't mean I'm more Jewish than others, it just took me a while of my life to realize that I should be proud to be instead of hiding. So I raise my children to be both religions and found it is possible to do so! Until we come to that dreaded circumcision topic which my husband and I do not talk about! At least yet...We still have another 8 weeks until finding out what baby is, boy or girl and if boy..Well, we welcome THAT tornado of chaos, ha ha.
ANYWAYS....God has performed yet another miracle in my life. He has blessed me with another baby and I am just realizing it and starting to enjoy the fact that I am pregnant. beforehand, I didn't want to get my hopes up in fear of losing this baby too like the last 3. I'm 12 weeks and 1 day along. Past the danger part. I am...Euphoric to say the least. We saw the ultrasound a few days ago and I cried the whole time. I saw a beautiful little baby kicking the crap out of that ultrasound tool. It was waving it's arms around like crazy and even swimming! It had a fantastic heartbeat and just was the most beautiful sight to ever see. Now I'm relieved, enjoying heartburn and the nausea that untreated heartburn can cause and hoping that I gain a pound or two soon. (I love big bellies!) I am a steady 165 and haven't changed since before I was preggo. I do have a decent pooch now though and enjoy fondling my belly ha ha. As perverted as I try for that NOT to sound.
But I feel guilty because before this I was praying daily, begging for mercy and safety and a miracle and now that I have had my prayer answered, I have stopped praying so diligently. So I bought a few devotionals and will be doing those and trying to read my Bible more and hoping that we find a church soon. I need that badly. Just that support system you know?
This is the day to blabber I suppose as that seems to be what I am doing. Making up for lost time, ha ha. We are expecting our tax return any day now. I get to get a new camera. I can begin documenting my baby belly soon and update my photos on myspace, ha ha. Ooh let's not get started on my addiction to that one...
I miss my mom. It sound childish but I do. She with her wife (Yes, *sigh* wife. My family is FAR from normal as you will come to realize...) and my sister's baby are living down in California. I guess I should stop here and explain some things and hope you don't abandon me as it seems when people learn of my family background, it becomes too much for them. My mom has just me and my sister Stephanie from two different marriages. My sister who i have zero contact with is 4 years younger than I. She is a professional meth head slash drug dealer slash wife and wanna be mother. Her husband and her decided being parents was too difficult for them so they dumped their three day old baby off with my mother and Teri.
Ok now let's back up so I can explain about Teri. Teri is my step-mother and I claim her every step of the way. The saying of "A mother isn't who birthed you but who raised you and took care of you and loved you" is true to every extent. Teri came into the picture when I was in the 4th grade and I hated her from day one. She had two daughters of her own and we fought every day. I flunked school, became as rebellious as I could and fought with Teri and made her and my mother fight all the time. I. Was. A. Horrible. Child. My mother will tell you how she wanted to tear out her hair and run away from me, it was that bad. Teri took me out one day and told me that she was not leaving no matter how difficult I became and that if I pushed too hard, I would be the one to leave. She told me how she loved me and nothing I could do would ever change that and she left it at that. I had a change of heart, apologized and had a lot to make up for and eventually did. By the time I moved in with my dad, I was on a great road with Teri. Just couldn't deal with my mother, ha ha. I love her to death but she and I in a room for too long. We don't get along at all. We're too much alike that we can't deal with each other too much. I've shortened my history down a lot for your sake's. But Teri did a lot during my childhood and was the one who dealt with me and my sister for the most part. Mom went out and did the job thing and was gone a lot. It's hard to be in my position and to believe that some things aren't right and yet love someone who is doing it so much. Teri has been in my life for the past....Crap, I think they are going on 15 or 16 years now? And just the fact that we survived my teenage years is a big thing. But I love her and think of her as my step-mother and it won't change. I have very little family so I treasure what I have *shrugs*
I don't know why I rambled my family history off to you. I guess to explain things better. I'm trying to figure out a time to go see them all and hopefully it will work out for April as I miss my mom terribly and haven't seen her in two years! She and Teri are raising my sister's now 5 month old baby girl, Victoria and doing the daily grind. So I want to meet my neice as well. I'm scared to death of having two kids and of how complicated it all is going to get. Doing trips via an airplane with Hannah is a handful in itself but to add another kid to that? Hence why we do this trip now, haha.
I am terribly bored right now. We're waiting on whether Abel gets to start this new job or not. He's made it past everything and done well so we're hoping nothing pops up unexpectedly and causes him to not get this job. Abel filed for unemployment as he had been laid off back in November and then quit a week before we left in december and is now unemployed. Well his ex-boss told unemployment that Abel never was laid off and quit back in November. Lied to them!! So now Abel has to either deal with not getting a few measly checks or do a stupid hearing and fight it. I'm good friends with this guy's daughter so I can't say anything too dangerous but this guy has been a total butthole (to say the least) for as long as Abel has worked for him! Abel had a log roll onto his foot and up his ankle and he couldn't walk or fit his foot into his workboot and his boss told him that if Abel used the workman's comp he would go broke and how he couldn't afford Abel to go to the ER and he'd get him a barce and let that be. But yet he chewed Abel out because Abel couldn't walk the next day and called in for a sick day! Told Abel he was milking it!! I got pissed off and literally dragged my husband in to the ER to find out Abel had fluid in his ankle and sprained it badly and they were sure he had a hairline fracture as well. I saw his boss a few days later and heard him chew out Abel for going in and using the workman's comp. and I spoke up and told him thanks for almost making my husband a cripple and putting us MORE into the poorhouse because had we waited any longer, Abel's foot would have been useless for at least a few weeks and we would have had to pay for it ourselves. As it was we were taking loans out so we could have food on our table every other day! Top Ramen was our great friend let me tell you what....I'm just pissed because the stories get worse. And this guy told Abel how valued and important he was and once Abel told him he had a better job and needed to do bette for his family, this guy gets a blister up his butt and starts trying to make Abel's life difficult? he found out we were applying to food stamps once and gave Abel a dollar raise, just enough to unqualify us from the help. Then he told Abel we didn't need it and how he hates anyone on welfare. I was like ok, let's be poor and starve, so you can be happy that one more family was unable to be on it, you jerkoff....
It feels good to vent but I'm so sorry this useless stuff is being posted. Lots has been going on and no time to write it down, it all builds up and comes out like this, ha ha.
Anyways, I hope everyone else has been doing well. Big congrats to miss Sassy Pants for her pregnancy! Another baby on it's way yaaay!! And of course I'm excited for miss Stephanie for moving closer to me! We were 8 hours apart before I moved away and now we'll be 8 hours apart again, haha. So anyways, I have 4 loads of laundry to fold and put away and a 2 year old to force to take a nap and I'm starving so in other words, I'm jetting off now. I'll write again later when something more interesting happens. Much love to you all!!
*Beckie*
I've been having a bit of a guilt session with myself lately. I'm not a Bible thumping Christian. I do take my Bible with me everywhere I go as it is my "security blanket" but since moving here to Harvey, we haven't found a church because it seems (No offense to any Catholics out there) that this is where you all herd to for church. There are about 3 Catholic churches here I swear!! But no decent Christian churches. My husband is non-denominational. I, on the other hand consider myself to be a Messianic Jew. It sounds odd and complicated and still is to me but I'm learning. I am 100% Jewish as I came right out of my mother who too is Jewish. Heck, we had family who was murdered and too who escaped from that dreadful "Hail Hitler!" era. It doesn't mean I'm more Jewish than others, it just took me a while of my life to realize that I should be proud to be instead of hiding. So I raise my children to be both religions and found it is possible to do so! Until we come to that dreaded circumcision topic which my husband and I do not talk about! At least yet...We still have another 8 weeks until finding out what baby is, boy or girl and if boy..Well, we welcome THAT tornado of chaos, ha ha.
ANYWAYS....God has performed yet another miracle in my life. He has blessed me with another baby and I am just realizing it and starting to enjoy the fact that I am pregnant. beforehand, I didn't want to get my hopes up in fear of losing this baby too like the last 3. I'm 12 weeks and 1 day along. Past the danger part. I am...Euphoric to say the least. We saw the ultrasound a few days ago and I cried the whole time. I saw a beautiful little baby kicking the crap out of that ultrasound tool. It was waving it's arms around like crazy and even swimming! It had a fantastic heartbeat and just was the most beautiful sight to ever see. Now I'm relieved, enjoying heartburn and the nausea that untreated heartburn can cause and hoping that I gain a pound or two soon. (I love big bellies!) I am a steady 165 and haven't changed since before I was preggo. I do have a decent pooch now though and enjoy fondling my belly ha ha. As perverted as I try for that NOT to sound.
But I feel guilty because before this I was praying daily, begging for mercy and safety and a miracle and now that I have had my prayer answered, I have stopped praying so diligently. So I bought a few devotionals and will be doing those and trying to read my Bible more and hoping that we find a church soon. I need that badly. Just that support system you know?
This is the day to blabber I suppose as that seems to be what I am doing. Making up for lost time, ha ha. We are expecting our tax return any day now. I get to get a new camera. I can begin documenting my baby belly soon and update my photos on myspace, ha ha. Ooh let's not get started on my addiction to that one...
I miss my mom. It sound childish but I do. She with her wife (Yes, *sigh* wife. My family is FAR from normal as you will come to realize...) and my sister's baby are living down in California. I guess I should stop here and explain some things and hope you don't abandon me as it seems when people learn of my family background, it becomes too much for them. My mom has just me and my sister Stephanie from two different marriages. My sister who i have zero contact with is 4 years younger than I. She is a professional meth head slash drug dealer slash wife and wanna be mother. Her husband and her decided being parents was too difficult for them so they dumped their three day old baby off with my mother and Teri.
Ok now let's back up so I can explain about Teri. Teri is my step-mother and I claim her every step of the way. The saying of "A mother isn't who birthed you but who raised you and took care of you and loved you" is true to every extent. Teri came into the picture when I was in the 4th grade and I hated her from day one. She had two daughters of her own and we fought every day. I flunked school, became as rebellious as I could and fought with Teri and made her and my mother fight all the time. I. Was. A. Horrible. Child. My mother will tell you how she wanted to tear out her hair and run away from me, it was that bad. Teri took me out one day and told me that she was not leaving no matter how difficult I became and that if I pushed too hard, I would be the one to leave. She told me how she loved me and nothing I could do would ever change that and she left it at that. I had a change of heart, apologized and had a lot to make up for and eventually did. By the time I moved in with my dad, I was on a great road with Teri. Just couldn't deal with my mother, ha ha. I love her to death but she and I in a room for too long. We don't get along at all. We're too much alike that we can't deal with each other too much. I've shortened my history down a lot for your sake's. But Teri did a lot during my childhood and was the one who dealt with me and my sister for the most part. Mom went out and did the job thing and was gone a lot. It's hard to be in my position and to believe that some things aren't right and yet love someone who is doing it so much. Teri has been in my life for the past....Crap, I think they are going on 15 or 16 years now? And just the fact that we survived my teenage years is a big thing. But I love her and think of her as my step-mother and it won't change. I have very little family so I treasure what I have *shrugs*
I don't know why I rambled my family history off to you. I guess to explain things better. I'm trying to figure out a time to go see them all and hopefully it will work out for April as I miss my mom terribly and haven't seen her in two years! She and Teri are raising my sister's now 5 month old baby girl, Victoria and doing the daily grind. So I want to meet my neice as well. I'm scared to death of having two kids and of how complicated it all is going to get. Doing trips via an airplane with Hannah is a handful in itself but to add another kid to that? Hence why we do this trip now, haha.
I am terribly bored right now. We're waiting on whether Abel gets to start this new job or not. He's made it past everything and done well so we're hoping nothing pops up unexpectedly and causes him to not get this job. Abel filed for unemployment as he had been laid off back in November and then quit a week before we left in december and is now unemployed. Well his ex-boss told unemployment that Abel never was laid off and quit back in November. Lied to them!! So now Abel has to either deal with not getting a few measly checks or do a stupid hearing and fight it. I'm good friends with this guy's daughter so I can't say anything too dangerous but this guy has been a total butthole (to say the least) for as long as Abel has worked for him! Abel had a log roll onto his foot and up his ankle and he couldn't walk or fit his foot into his workboot and his boss told him that if Abel used the workman's comp he would go broke and how he couldn't afford Abel to go to the ER and he'd get him a barce and let that be. But yet he chewed Abel out because Abel couldn't walk the next day and called in for a sick day! Told Abel he was milking it!! I got pissed off and literally dragged my husband in to the ER to find out Abel had fluid in his ankle and sprained it badly and they were sure he had a hairline fracture as well. I saw his boss a few days later and heard him chew out Abel for going in and using the workman's comp. and I spoke up and told him thanks for almost making my husband a cripple and putting us MORE into the poorhouse because had we waited any longer, Abel's foot would have been useless for at least a few weeks and we would have had to pay for it ourselves. As it was we were taking loans out so we could have food on our table every other day! Top Ramen was our great friend let me tell you what....I'm just pissed because the stories get worse. And this guy told Abel how valued and important he was and once Abel told him he had a better job and needed to do bette for his family, this guy gets a blister up his butt and starts trying to make Abel's life difficult? he found out we were applying to food stamps once and gave Abel a dollar raise, just enough to unqualify us from the help. Then he told Abel we didn't need it and how he hates anyone on welfare. I was like ok, let's be poor and starve, so you can be happy that one more family was unable to be on it, you jerkoff....
It feels good to vent but I'm so sorry this useless stuff is being posted. Lots has been going on and no time to write it down, it all builds up and comes out like this, ha ha.
Anyways, I hope everyone else has been doing well. Big congrats to miss Sassy Pants for her pregnancy! Another baby on it's way yaaay!! And of course I'm excited for miss Stephanie for moving closer to me! We were 8 hours apart before I moved away and now we'll be 8 hours apart again, haha. So anyways, I have 4 loads of laundry to fold and put away and a 2 year old to force to take a nap and I'm starving so in other words, I'm jetting off now. I'll write again later when something more interesting happens. Much love to you all!!
*Beckie*
Monday, January 26, 2009
A Little Stress To Go With The Good....
It has been forever I know and I apologize. I don't know why I've not been on much. Tons of distractions in such a quiet way of life I suppose. Every time I hop on here, I'm on for exactly 4 minutes and 27 seconds and then something happens to where not all my e-mail gets read and I leave a page up and come back to a husband or father upon the computer in my place. Good luck on getting back on ha ha.
Let's see...Update time...Hannah. Oi vay! My darling daughter whom I love soo much. We are battling right now and it's just loads of fun, ha ha. For some reason she has regressed on her potty training. When we got here she was completely out of diapers, even at night time. Well now all of a sudden (well within a few days ago) she has begun to pee herself and pee the bed at night. Last night she actually didn't pee the bed which I'm excited and so far today, no pee accidents. It's just so odd...And our temper tantrums in public have gotten so bad I refuse to take her out. It's like she used to be this great little girl to take out with me and now if one thing sets her off oh boy howdy watch out! Screaming at the top of our lungs and freaking out. Yeah loads of fun...So I leave her at home and avoid it. But for everything else, she's doing really well. We're working on her colors and shapes right now and she's sort of getting the hang of it. She loves yellow I've learned. I hate yellow, ha ha.
Abel. Well, he's doing well just going crazy out of boredom. He's one of those guys who has to work and be outside and if he isn't doing one or the other than he gets cranky. He hates not working. But he got great news and ended up passing the interview process and now has a physical tomorrow and then an abilities test next week over in Fargo which he'll have no problem with. He basically has the job so he's a bit better to deal with. His last boss had him brainwashed into never using unemployment and they always get laid off during the winter. We'd be broke and barely any food or money and so our parents would begin helping us out for the wintertime. It was hard. Well, we got over here and my dad told Abel he's been paying into unemployment, and to collect from November of 2008 until he gets this job and begins getting a paycheck. We need money and he won't get a paycheck until like March. So Abel put in for it and got accepted and will be receiving unemployment benefits for about a month or two. He hates doing it but when you have no money and no other options...His last boss wasn't a very nice boss at all so I have resentment built up mega load for him and am so glad to be gone from that place. Log building was something Abel loved but he was making so little and never got any benefits or anything so it was a horrible job. We're very blessed to have him getting this railroad job.
Me and baby are doing great which is such a shock! I'm not used to being 10 1/2 weeks along and still no cramps or any troubles. I'm waiting for the ground to fall out under me in a way because I'm scared I'll be at ease with everything and then WAM! when I'm not expecting it you know? But I had an ultrasound last week that showed baby moving around already. Great heartbeat, it was 170 already. And the egg sac was a perfect circle. Which even with Hannah, I never had a baby with a perfect egg sac. It's always been kidney bean shaped. My heart is starting to act up on me, getting all tacchy on me but Dr isn't worried, he said he knows why it is acting this way and he'll be putting me on medication soon. As with the gestational diabetes. I have a few more weeks of eating whatever I want and then I get to begin testing my blood 4 times a day and doing the meal plan. I hate counting carbs...Let's see..Due date is August 20th. I had some issues with the nurses in the hospital here already so I have requested to be induced in Bismarck and deliver there. This hospital sucks and is not equipped to handle any sort of emergency with a baby so that scares me alone. My doctor is awesome and knows exactly what is going on and has dealt with my case thousands of times which put me immediately at ease. I don't regret coming here at all. I'm 10 weeks a 4days so far like I said before. The dreaded 11th week is only 3 more days away. Dr. Lindemann says not to worry he seriously doubts anything will happen. He says that with all my other miscarriages, the fetus had stopped growing at 7 or 8 weeks each time and then I miscarried at 11 weeks, not that the baby died at 11 weeks, that's just when my body discharged the baby. So he said there is no reason to worry. It gives me great relief, let me tell you what! So I thank you all for your prayers. That's exactly what is getting the baby and me through this. Prayer.
I still have morning sickness at night and first thing in the morning. If I eat right away in the morning I'm fine and as long as I eat right before going to sleep I'm usually good too. I began this pregnancy at 160m I'm not scared to report. But I have yet to gain any weight. I'm eating every two hours at least and eating all kinds of junk too and yet nothing. I had that nasty stomach bug and lost 9 pounds so that's why I'm desperate to put on weight. That and I want a huge baby belly! With Hannah, I carried her in the back because my uterus is flopped backwards, so I never showed with her. I got wide but that was it. The day I delivered, I looked like I was maybe 6 months along if that. I'm already showing with this one and I want to get bigger out front and actually carry in the front this time! LoL. I love baby bellies.
And that's pretty much it right now. All caught up. Forgive me for not e-mailing some of you. This is faster and I don't get much time during the day to write. You should hear my mom yell at me, ha ha. Ugh, I turned 24 a few days ago. I don't feel different, just weird. I hate the thought of getting older with nothing to show for it you know? I have yet to do anything wild and crazy! But with Abel getting this job, I told him me and my bestie, Shayla were taking a trip somewhere with no kids or hubbies and we're doing something wild. We're talking about New York. I'm totally excited!
I hope everyone else is doing well. I have 9 more weeks untilw e find out what we're having. I'm hoping for a girl and Abel is hoping for a boy. I'm almost positive we're having a boy. Ugh...LoL. I've dealt with my little girl for 2 1/2 years already! What the crap am I going to do with a penis!?!?! LoL. I've picked out two girl names that now I'm not so sure if I'm still crazy about them or not. Analeigh (pronounced Awna-lee) or Jayleigh. They are totally rare and not out there often but really unique and I like unique but then again, as I'm Jewish and as are my children, they sort of need a name with Hebrew background. I've got plenty of time ahead of me, you will so be hearing thousands of names, haha.
Anyhow, the UPS man just came and dropped off Hannah's new bike. I'm off to go put it together! Yay!! Wish me luck and I shall be on more often! Love to all!!
*Beckie*
Let's see...Update time...Hannah. Oi vay! My darling daughter whom I love soo much. We are battling right now and it's just loads of fun, ha ha. For some reason she has regressed on her potty training. When we got here she was completely out of diapers, even at night time. Well now all of a sudden (well within a few days ago) she has begun to pee herself and pee the bed at night. Last night she actually didn't pee the bed which I'm excited and so far today, no pee accidents. It's just so odd...And our temper tantrums in public have gotten so bad I refuse to take her out. It's like she used to be this great little girl to take out with me and now if one thing sets her off oh boy howdy watch out! Screaming at the top of our lungs and freaking out. Yeah loads of fun...So I leave her at home and avoid it. But for everything else, she's doing really well. We're working on her colors and shapes right now and she's sort of getting the hang of it. She loves yellow I've learned. I hate yellow, ha ha.
Abel. Well, he's doing well just going crazy out of boredom. He's one of those guys who has to work and be outside and if he isn't doing one or the other than he gets cranky. He hates not working. But he got great news and ended up passing the interview process and now has a physical tomorrow and then an abilities test next week over in Fargo which he'll have no problem with. He basically has the job so he's a bit better to deal with. His last boss had him brainwashed into never using unemployment and they always get laid off during the winter. We'd be broke and barely any food or money and so our parents would begin helping us out for the wintertime. It was hard. Well, we got over here and my dad told Abel he's been paying into unemployment, and to collect from November of 2008 until he gets this job and begins getting a paycheck. We need money and he won't get a paycheck until like March. So Abel put in for it and got accepted and will be receiving unemployment benefits for about a month or two. He hates doing it but when you have no money and no other options...His last boss wasn't a very nice boss at all so I have resentment built up mega load for him and am so glad to be gone from that place. Log building was something Abel loved but he was making so little and never got any benefits or anything so it was a horrible job. We're very blessed to have him getting this railroad job.
Me and baby are doing great which is such a shock! I'm not used to being 10 1/2 weeks along and still no cramps or any troubles. I'm waiting for the ground to fall out under me in a way because I'm scared I'll be at ease with everything and then WAM! when I'm not expecting it you know? But I had an ultrasound last week that showed baby moving around already. Great heartbeat, it was 170 already. And the egg sac was a perfect circle. Which even with Hannah, I never had a baby with a perfect egg sac. It's always been kidney bean shaped. My heart is starting to act up on me, getting all tacchy on me but Dr isn't worried, he said he knows why it is acting this way and he'll be putting me on medication soon. As with the gestational diabetes. I have a few more weeks of eating whatever I want and then I get to begin testing my blood 4 times a day and doing the meal plan. I hate counting carbs...Let's see..Due date is August 20th. I had some issues with the nurses in the hospital here already so I have requested to be induced in Bismarck and deliver there. This hospital sucks and is not equipped to handle any sort of emergency with a baby so that scares me alone. My doctor is awesome and knows exactly what is going on and has dealt with my case thousands of times which put me immediately at ease. I don't regret coming here at all. I'm 10 weeks a 4days so far like I said before. The dreaded 11th week is only 3 more days away. Dr. Lindemann says not to worry he seriously doubts anything will happen. He says that with all my other miscarriages, the fetus had stopped growing at 7 or 8 weeks each time and then I miscarried at 11 weeks, not that the baby died at 11 weeks, that's just when my body discharged the baby. So he said there is no reason to worry. It gives me great relief, let me tell you what! So I thank you all for your prayers. That's exactly what is getting the baby and me through this. Prayer.
I still have morning sickness at night and first thing in the morning. If I eat right away in the morning I'm fine and as long as I eat right before going to sleep I'm usually good too. I began this pregnancy at 160m I'm not scared to report. But I have yet to gain any weight. I'm eating every two hours at least and eating all kinds of junk too and yet nothing. I had that nasty stomach bug and lost 9 pounds so that's why I'm desperate to put on weight. That and I want a huge baby belly! With Hannah, I carried her in the back because my uterus is flopped backwards, so I never showed with her. I got wide but that was it. The day I delivered, I looked like I was maybe 6 months along if that. I'm already showing with this one and I want to get bigger out front and actually carry in the front this time! LoL. I love baby bellies.
And that's pretty much it right now. All caught up. Forgive me for not e-mailing some of you. This is faster and I don't get much time during the day to write. You should hear my mom yell at me, ha ha. Ugh, I turned 24 a few days ago. I don't feel different, just weird. I hate the thought of getting older with nothing to show for it you know? I have yet to do anything wild and crazy! But with Abel getting this job, I told him me and my bestie, Shayla were taking a trip somewhere with no kids or hubbies and we're doing something wild. We're talking about New York. I'm totally excited!
I hope everyone else is doing well. I have 9 more weeks untilw e find out what we're having. I'm hoping for a girl and Abel is hoping for a boy. I'm almost positive we're having a boy. Ugh...LoL. I've dealt with my little girl for 2 1/2 years already! What the crap am I going to do with a penis!?!?! LoL. I've picked out two girl names that now I'm not so sure if I'm still crazy about them or not. Analeigh (pronounced Awna-lee) or Jayleigh. They are totally rare and not out there often but really unique and I like unique but then again, as I'm Jewish and as are my children, they sort of need a name with Hebrew background. I've got plenty of time ahead of me, you will so be hearing thousands of names, haha.
Anyhow, the UPS man just came and dropped off Hannah's new bike. I'm off to go put it together! Yay!! Wish me luck and I shall be on more often! Love to all!!
*Beckie*
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