Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Black Friday

Oh the joy!! I have seen the ads, I have made my list and I am dancing with excitement at all the stuff I will be able to buy for the cheapest amount I've ever seen!! I have never been to this black Friday business. I am, yes, a virgin. And loving it! Haha. I will come home with everyone bought for and then can concentrate on the tree, lights and sending off the rest of my Christmas cards and gifts. I love it!! I'm so excited!
So I should be packing and cleaning my house so I guess I will let this end. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and I will be on another day!!

Friday, November 21, 2008


Okay Miss Stephanie, I have to apologize for I copied your idea. I couldn't figure out a vent that would explain everything that went on today so this is what I came up with and I have to thank you so much! Writing letters to the people that get to me works splendidly! I'm not as pissed off and not wanting to wring everyone's necks, haha. So thank you for being brilliant and I hope you aren't offended that I copied your idea....

Dear Mr. Tailgater-With-A-Horn,
Let me be the first to say thank you for tailgating me two full blocks while running errands today. Not only is that illegal but had I stalled or had to slam on my brakes for any reason, your bumper would have been through my child's body which would have been all over my windshield. Thank you for giving an already nervous mother, a nervous anxiety attack. Never mind the fact that you were towing a large trailer and your truck was exactly 800% bigger than my Honda Civic. Must be my stupidity for driving a gas saving, compact car.
Also, thank you for that obnoxious, very annoying blaring of the horn while I was waiting for traffic before turning left. I apologize for not veering into traffic and again, risking my child's life. Stupid me. I hope you can forgive me for being patient and waiting for clearance from two lanes of on-coming traffic. Excuse me for assuming you had an extra 13 seconds to sit and wait. I was wrong.
Thank you for making me realize that driving in the town of Libby, Montana has now been taken from level Dangerous, to level Suicidal. I will no continue to hermit in my home until I one day leave this town to a place where 3 cars a day on main street is considered rush hour. Thank you and hope your day went swell!
*Heart Attack Victim w/ Nightmares*

Dear Punk-In-A-Fast-Car,
Yes I know that my husband's car is very intimidating. Somewhat. But I alas am not my husband and it is only my right as his wife to be allowed to drive his car, the only running car in our family right now, around town to do my errands. Just because I am married to him and just because I happen to be in an import, doesn't mean I feel it necessary to race you. Because I deny you any racing, do not feel free to flip me the bird. My two old daughter in the backseat (did you NOT notice the car seat and the screaming toddler in the back, while my window was down??) is in that wonderful stage of mimicking everyone she sees so now that she is playing with her middle fingers, I will only continue thinking of you. Thank you for leaving your legacy and next time you want to race, wait for my husband to be driving and I promise you, you will get the beat down you desire. Thank you and have a wonderful day!
*Pissed Off Parent*

Dear Lady-On-The-Celly,
I appreciate you trying to communicate with your people. Communication is the key to every relationship and is a very healthy thing to do. However, I do not appreciate the fact that you choose to have a chat while driving through traffic. It wouldn't have been so bad but you obviously can not multitask and put many cars in a nervous scramble as they tried to get out your way. The turn signals on your vehicle, you know, the stick that makes the click-click-click-click sound when you pull it downward, it is there for a reason. Oh and slamming on your brakes every five seconds is great but I don't care to stall out and panic everytime you do this.
Next time it would be wonderful if you could pay attention and NOT be on your celly while driving. Try calling people while you are at home. I'm sure it can wait that long. Thank you and have a great day!
*Brake Checked Woman Behind You*

Dear Snobby-Teenagers,
When I was your age, I too stared at parents with screaming toddlers and giggled about it with my friends. But my mother also taught me not to stare more than 3 seconds and when I giggled, I did it quietly and far away from the parent. Yes my child screams and throws a fit. All children do and when you get knocked up (probably next year by the way the rate that girls your age are going) you too will enjoy the terrible twos.
Next time, I advise you to smile politely and walk away or turn your head so as to not offend the mother and make her day even worse then it already is. That mother probably won't pray that your children come in threes and are ten times worse than her daughter who mind you can be a handful most days. Karma does exist and I advise you to be careful of what you put out there....
Oh and maybe you will now understand why I didn't buy any of your precious cookies or whatever it was you were selling. Honey attracts flies better than vinegar
Hope your bake sale went well!
*Praying Mother*

Saturday, November 15, 2008


To work music with words is a daunting task. I gaze upon my keyboard wondering when my muse will come. Pushing me forward with her gift of inspiration. Showing me what beauty lies within my soul. To give me the amazement of what can flow with just the touch of my fingers. Everything I've hidden inside is surely to bubble up. Arise oh words, may I bring to life what has been asleep for so long. I wonder at such gifts that others have,will I too be able to possess such a talent? I sit and put down on paper my thoughts but only my eyes are to see what I feel and think. I will put it away so that I may never read it again. For when I read the things I have written, I become scared. Of others thoughts and opinions, yes. But a small part of myself will always have pride of my writings. For I see beauty in everything. From the writings of a small child to the writings of an elderly grandmother writing for the last time. From the small cherry blossom on a simple tree to the greatest mountain in the world.
I have desire and passion inside. And I have beauty despite what you may say or think. Always remember, I may not write like you nor may I write as giftedly as others. My opinions, my views, my thoughts are of mine and unlike yours. I know this. But my gift is only beginning. Great things will come from me. In time they will flow from my soul like the waters of the great Mississippi. trickling like a stream at first and pouring forth like the raging waters that they can be.

*I wrote this back in high school and wanted to share this with you. It was part of a piece I had to write for my speech class. We were required to write about a topic of our teacher's choice and I couldn't write anything decent so I wrote about not being able to write and yet wanting to and desiring to. I scored an A on it although I was told not to do it again, haha.
I'm becoming better about sharing what I write although it takes time because I do worry about what other people may think or say about me. It's a self esteem issue that I need to work on, I know. So be gentle...
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. And see? I'm not just an idiot with a keyboard, haha....Have a good night!*


Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Have you ever tried hiding from a two year old? It is possibly my most favorite game with Hannah. She doesn't get how to play hide and go seek yet so we play hide and peek a boo style. It's great fun! Just to hear her giggle makes my sore, carpet burned knees well worth it.
Out of the possibility of me never having any other children I memorize every little detail about my daughter. Her laugh, her smile, her rare cuddling moments. Everything! A child's giggle is my favorite sound in the entire world. Sure, I love music but to listen to a baby or a small child giggle is so much more beautiful...
I actually am inspired to write today because today, my heart has been over filled with faith, love and hope again. Although I am disappointed in myself for not going to God and filling my heart the right way, but I am joyful nonetheless.
I went in to the hospital today to hand over 8 vials of blood. All in the name of science. And baby making. You see, I have a wonderful two year old beautiful little girl. But I also am the mother of 3 angels up in Heaven. When I become pregnant, my body goes on ninja mode and attacks my fetuses. We (meaning the doctors and I) have no idea why this cruelty happens. But in the 11th week of every pregnancy I have ever had, I miscarry a baby. Hannah was a miracle because I got to see her egg sac ripping away from my placenta. I got to hear so many times about how I was going to have a miscarriage with her due to her sac sac collapsing or because they couldn't stop the cramping and bleeding, or this issue or that issue. I developed high blood pressure in my last trimester and developed diabetes in my second trimester. But she survived. God blessed me with her and I don't take any day for granted.
So now, I get to sit here in my quiet boring home and wait about a week to hear news. News of what is wrong with me and news of how we can or can not fix it. I've been praying that God gives the doctors or lap techs or whoever has a hand in this whole affair, lots of intelligence. I don't care what is wrong with my body, I want to hear how we can fix it or treat it or even cure it so that the next time I get pregnant (oh yes folks, there WILL be a next time) I can take some sort of medication and be able to meet my child 9 months later.
So now that I know we may put a name to what is going on and that we can fix it, I have so much happiness and hope in my heart today. I'm this much closer to having another child.
So I hope everyone is having a glorious day as well. And I will blog another day!
Much love,

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Stupidity

I like to think of my friends as family. I have made many, many myspace friends and some new friends on here even. (Faster than I thought). So when I hear of or read of my friends being verbally abused or harassed, there's this caring and protective part in me that tends to not think and react at the attackers. So this is to apologize for ever doing so since I was used as a source of mockery and humiliation for standing up for someone. So I will never do so again since me acting as a friend would was only a stupid act on my part. I apologize. If you have an issue or have someone attacking you or someone, I'll just read everything, have a pity party in your honor and let you handle your own. From now on it won't be any of my business. And I'm fine with that. I guess if that is how people like their friendships to be like, ce la vie!
Anyways that's pretty much it. Totally excited for it snowed for the first time today. Now I will put my new seat on my snowmobile and start taking Hannah and the nieces and nephews for rides! Yay winter! have a good day!