Monday, May 17, 2010

Back To Life

Oh Blogger and friends, I really have missed you. Some of you have been on my mind a lot these past few days. And I have pulled blogger up a few times over the last week and then chickened out on writing something. I don't want to focus on my father's passing. It may consume me but it doesn't meant I need to bring everyone else down and chase you away with saddening blather right? Right.

My aunt and uncle left this morning. We got to drop off my kids at a friend's house and then take off yesterday for Minneapolis. It was eventful because while I was driving, I managed to blog a tire. And then, if anyone has been through North Dakota or Minnesota, a lot of places aren't named, you literally are in the middle of nowhere so you must rely on mile markers. I didn't. So I had to call 911, report to a state trooper who located us and sent a tow truck and himself to help us. I was ever so grateful! And then we got to go to a closed Mall of America to eat at my most favorite place to eat in the whoooole world, Bubba Gump's. It brightened my day so much and I even got a t-shirt and souvenir key chain. I am a huge fan of key chains. It's a bad habit actually but I love them. If there's a story behind them, I collect them. And especially if I go somewhere memorable, I get one. I have more key chains then keys now, LoL. Addictions get the best of us.

It's eerily quiet in my house and while my family was here I was able to forget about dad. Now I have no choice but to face it. I hate it only because I miss him. A lot. I feel guilty that I abused the time that he was here and didn't take advantage of it. I feel sad because my goal was for him to see Ignacio's first steps just as he did with Hannah. And I feel especially sad because the one grandparents who loved my children and showed any caring feelings for them, is no longer here. I feel sad. But I also know that his passing was really the best. Sitting on this Earth, stuck in a hospital room for 3 months and suffering for a single breath was not the way he should have lived. And I know in my heart we will meet again :)

I'm finally getting a new car. Almost all of this nasty paperwork is finished and my father's wishes are being respected to a T. Bills are being paid off completely, a car is on it's way, and money is going to my children's savings accounts. We had him cremated and it was the only wish I wish I didn't respect however. Let me take the time right now to advise you all out there, please, PLEASE have a will. If you don't have one, get one and if you do, make sure it is up to date with children and wishes and such. Create a living will as well. Don't take for granted that you will have tomorrow and if you don't, please take the time to consider life after you leave. Do you realize how expensive it is to die?? The bills you leave behind will be left to your lucky loved ones to pay off for you. People will have no clue what to do with your estate. And people will fight. It's a given. And if you don't have life insurance, get some of that as well. Out of consideration and love for your family.

I'm heading to Wisconsin next month. A friend and I are taking our kids to the Wisconsin Dells. Anyone been there before?? It looks amazing. Utterly and blissfully amazing. I can't wait. I need a vacation.

Another piece of bright news, we are getting a kitty! More exciting than anything right now. I'm a MAJOR cat fan. And with the house so lonely I told Abel that since I'm home all of the time, I'm getting me a cat. When I was little I was determined to grow up and be the crazy cat lady down the street. It starts :)

So anyways folks. That's my updates for now. I'm so tired from lack of sleep all week long and now that the kids are asleep I think I may follow that trend and head out. I love and adore you all, thank you for your awesome words of comfort and encouragement and your prayers especially. Thank you for being so kind and for being such amazing friends and I promise, I will be back. I got a new book in and it needs a review ;) Until then....


Gucci Mama said...

A CAT, Beckie? I thought we were friends.


Doreen McGettigan said...

I am so sorry that you are sad and missing your Dad. I will say some prayers for you. My name is Doreen and I am visiting you via Mrs.4444's contest. I hope you will stop by to visit me. I want a cat too! My husband does not like them..

Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

Wonderful! I know your father is looking upon you all and will continue to be a guiding light of love. My wish for you is pure and simple happiness that washes over you like a cool breeze on a summers night! all my love to you , your family and your kitten <3

Justine said...

Beckie, I'm so glad you popped in with an update. I know you're still so very sad and I imagine you'll feel that way for a long while. Your dad was so very special to you.

I'm so glad you're getting a new car, but a kitty? Whoopieeee! What kind? Will you buy, or adopt?

Justine :o )