Monday, March 22, 2010

Aww Sweet Smell Of Betrayal

I am going to knowingly commit it. I feel torn though. In my mind, I feel liek I am a hostage who is tired of going along willingly. On the other hand though, I don't want to risk it. Risk hurting others for nothing. It's an awful feeling and situation to be in and so tonight I will be praying and searching for an answer as to what to do. For now, I will just avoid the people it involves I suppose. How hard will it be to ignore my mother when she doesn't have much to do with me these days anyways right? I hate not knowing how things turn out and not knowing what to do.

On the bright side, I am finally geting to visit my doctor tomorrow! Yay! To finally start figuring out what is going on. It shouldn't hurt after I eat and I shouldn't be starving myself out of fear of the pain. I'm such a hypocondriac so right now I fear cancer in my stomache and death looming at my door. I can't even look at Ignacio or Hannah without tearing up right now. I love anxiety and the issues it comes with. Who said I had issues??? Dude, I have the whole darn subscription!

3 blogs in one day really is a bit much. Guess I'm making up for lost time.

I'd love for some greasy chicken from KFC and some yummy pizza that is sitting in my fridge...I'm hungry...

Goodnight!



2 comments:

Unknown Mami said...

"Who said I had issues??? Dude, I have the whole darn subscription! "

Did you come up with that? It's brilliant! I have the whole subscription too.

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

Hi Beckie~I'm here from Justines. i adore her too. she is the most genuine person I've met in blogville.
She is the Queen of charisma.
It was fun getting to know you, hope you can stop by for a visit sometime.

Sweet wishes,
Sara