Aww Sweet Smell Of Betrayal

I am going to knowingly commit it. I feel torn though. In my mind, I feel liek I am a hostage who is tired of going along willingly. On the other hand though, I don't want to risk it. Risk hurting others for nothing. It's an awful feeling and situation to be in and so tonight I will be praying and searching for an answer as to what to do. For now, I will just avoid the people it involves I suppose. How hard will it be to ignore my mother when she doesn't have much to do with me these days anyways right? I hate not knowing how things turn out and not knowing what to do.

On the bright side, I am finally geting to visit my doctor tomorrow! Yay! To finally start figuring out what is going on. It shouldn't hurt after I eat and I shouldn't be starving myself out of fear of the pain. I'm such a hypocondriac so right now I fear cancer in my stomache and death looming at my door. I can't even look at Ignacio or Hannah without tearing up right now. I love anxiety and the issues it comes with. Who said I had issues??? Dude, I have the whole darn subscription!

3 blogs in one day really is a bit much. Guess I'm making up for lost time.

I'd love for some greasy chicken from KFC and some yummy pizza that is sitting in my fridge...I'm hungry...

Goodnight!