Sunday, April 18, 2010

Update On The Chaos

So I disappeared for awhile, I hope you noticed :) Dad had gone into the hospital last week, but this time only 18 hours after he got out. He was knocking on death's door too. I had to sign DNR papers on him which was the hardest thing to do for me. I felt (and still feel partly) that it was me giving up on him. The medical part of my mind knows that honestly, it is the best thing. Let God do what He is going to do and not intervene. Dad has been suffering for so long, it's time for him to go home and be at peace. But the me side of things is yelling out "That's my dad! Make him live! Do something!" The hardest part of the 3 days of not knowing if he was going to live, was watching him suffer. They had him on so much morphine it was unbelievable. And yet he was still hurting and struggling to breathe and at times would just quit breathing. Now he is doing much better. He had a white count of 60 thousand which they tell me is enormously too high. 8 thousand is normal?? He is sitting in a chair now and they are discussing physical therapy now that he is doing better. He's definitely much weaker and sleeps a lot more now but he's here. I'm told he won't be for long, that this scare was only the first and they don't think that with the next time, he will make a recovery. So we are just taking it day by day and enjoying what time we have with him.
My aunt Bev and uncle Chuck came down from Washington DC to stay with me and be with us during this whole thing. I have never met my aunt before due to family issues from before but this week with them was the blessing out of the whole thing. My whole philosophy on look for the bright spot in every situation is always, ALWAYS true. You just have to be willing to look. And in my situation here, that was my bright spot. I met and hung out with family. I got to learn more about my grandparents who died before I was born. I got to find out that I look like someone other than my mother. And I got to hear stories about my dad and learn more about him and his life pre-me. Plus, we had a really great time playing cards and just hanging out. They are coming out here again in September with my cousin Tim and his wife and son and will be here for more than a week. And next year, we are planning on using Abel's vacation for a trip out to them.
The kids are doing good through this. Hannah isn't really aware of what is going on. Just that papa is in the hospital again and not feeling well. Even though she is only 3, we are pretty straight forward with her. I never had people straight up with me as a kid so I'm changing that with her. She knows about death, we have had plenty of fish and even a cat die. And she does okay with it. She may not totally grasp it completely yet but at least she knows. It's just going to break my heart more for her than anything. She is a true to heart papa's girl.
So that is what has been occupying us for the past week. Been a bucketful of fun I tell ya. But everyone is doing well now. My family is taking off today for home. My aunt works for the Supreme Court and they have been calling her daily for assistance and how-to's so she has to sadly get back to work. And my uncle works in one of the Smithsonian museums, I can't remember doing what. So life in the big city is telling them to get home, LoL. And now I get to start two big wedding projects for some friends of mine. I'm making guest book scrapbooks for them. Create teh book up and then snap pictures of the families that come and then have them sign their page and later put their picture up where they signed and instead of a blahsy guestbook with just names signed, you get photos too. Am I the only one who looks back on my guestbook and can't remember who half of the peole are? I reconize faces but not names. How awful is that? I wish I had done this at my wedding...
So anyways, I'm off to tend to my e-mails and other virtual errands and then to deal with the rest of the day. Lots of love and best thoughts for the day!


Sassy Pants Freckle Face said...

Thinking of you, now and always! <3

Unknown Mami said...

Sending you positive thoughts.